there's a house over the river,
but alas, I cannot swim.
I'll live my life regretting
that I never jumped in.

I would like to believe I have a rich internal world and it is my greatest armour against the apathy and indifference of the world.

I'm leaving today.

My top 5 choices remain:

Reykjavik
Dublin
Aix-en-Provence
St. Petersburg
Prague

I think it's the same list I made up a few months ago! Funny how sunny warm places barely attract me: I'm all about the dreary grey cities clad in concrete and stone. I figure I'll sleep when I'm dead.

&tomorrow: 24.

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this endless pursuit of things. girls lusting after $300 dresses from Anthropologie and equally expensive shoes -- aspiring to be in a bracket above their own. I don't know if this is a post-Christmas attitude of mine, this lethargy of material goods or just a continuation in my vein of search for something beyond it. is this what life in the West ( Read more... )

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like a member of Arrested Development's Bluth family, I think we made a huge mistake. well, maybe not huge. but I'm thinking that perhaps we should buy a 2-bedroom condo close to one of our branches. the cats are indoors anyway and though I would not have a garden, it would make more financial sense to do so. I've been reading a lot about finances ( Read more... )

my mother ordered me 2 lb of organic coltsfoot from Florida (originally grown in Bulgaria). two pounds!! it doesn't sound like a lot, but when it arrived this morning, there were 4 giant bags of this stuff. I don't even know what coltsfoot is! but the cats were very curious and wanted to eat through the bags. I hope it works like catnip and I can ( Read more... )

how superfluous this yearning, how very human. Dear self, please forgive me for being so. I want nothing else but emptiness, but freedom from wanting. how difficult to even consider this, to be still.

there are the three hounds of hell. I have three cats of heck.

he said, "you have this look like you're having a joke inside your head about this situation." I said, "isn't my whole life like that?" one long internal joke. like a Dilbert cartoon.