but i cant....

T went home to visit...i know hes there and yet i am just pretending i dont...not sure why it really matters but for some stupid reason it does....Funny how we think we are healed, cured, over something and then it smacks our ass back down again.... J didnt mention it when i talked to her but i already knew he went to VA cause a lil birdy called me ( Read more... )

Not really sure what i am here to write about...just passing time...till..well i dont know until what..something, maybe nothing...who the hell knows anymore...not me, says i ( Read more... )

Sunday morning here and i am in hope tomorrows job hunt brings me something immediately...Still no job, the money has been gone...if i dont find something this week i am likely going to lose my place... if i can pull through this week and land a job, and some understanding from my management group i will be ok....my best friend is due to move down ( Read more... )

Well today is my birthday...no balloons or cakes for me. ~L~ i would rather forget i am getting older and yet things seemingly have stalled in my life. Two positives, my best friend lorie is moving down in two weeks to be a roomie....and i met someone.Rather met back up with someone from my past...Its odd... He doesnt remind me of Tom but the way i ( Read more... )

The sun is just rising, yet i have been awake now for a few hours...Sleep doesnt come too easily these days. So much stress, so much running through my head at all times. i have never been one to take the easy road, i do things because i WANT to and at times it kicks my ass...Like now ( Read more... )

Where the hell are the jobs in this town? Where is my heart...my soul? I cant seem to find anything anymore that resembles me. I briefly saw T online today and he asked if he could call, then never did....go figure. Why is he the one person in my life that i cant stop caring about and missing? Why do i light up the second i see or hear from him? i ( Read more... )

Life is going along....difficult right now but what can a person do? Was laid off.... am trying to find work desperately...Ended things with Scott, asked him to sign away parental rights to the baby when it arrives, Hes agreed. The last thing this kid needs in its life is an abusive, drunk, asshole of a sperm donor.... Its rough... i think back to ( Read more... )

Okay...brief update as i take a break from scrubbing bathrooms and my kitchen and all the other shit around here ~L ( Read more... )

Yes i am still alive and well... was offline for a few weeks and then work and the kids have kept me busy.. i go on Tuesday for the first real visit to the midwife..blood tests, pap, ultrasound etc. So far i have felt ok but really exhausted, in bed no later than 10 type of exhaustion. I will try to update more later but its time to go spend time ( Read more... )