&&realizationationated,
So i have this little theory.
that the world is just the way it should be.
when a person is ignorant to what is, they start to wish it did not exist. it build up in their mind, it haunts them, it taunts them, it scares them. soon enough, it is too much to handle.
finally, the breaking point comes. what do you do now? somehow you have to get out of this before it takes you over and something so horrible happens that you cant believe it.
as its coming to its worst, the part where you're scared to death and you're shaking, a small bit of relief comes.
and then it comes in waves.
soon its unstoppable, and finally, you breath one giant sigh of relief.
everything's ookay now.
i had one of those today, and i learned a major lesson from it.
i wont go into details.
i. it started with my mom getting sick.
ii. i felt sick watching her get sick.
iii. i got sick.
iv. i felt terrible, and asked so much for help because i couldnt stand it. i learned to appreciate.
v. the breakign point came, i shook and feared and trembled and finally..relief came in waves. my thoughts strayed from the thought of sickness.
now here i am. i am fine =]
basically i thought i was gonna up chuck, and people helped me out, and it made me have some kind of realization..just better understand. i knew, i always knew. i just finally clicked.
i feel grateful.
=]