im so fucking sick. i woke up this morning clutching my head, my sinuses were blockedagain, my cough is so bad and my calc midterm is a couple of hours. i skipped the rest of my classes today because i just didnt know what to do with myself. i think im getting better and then boom, i get worse. do i have mono? do i have the flu? that would fucking ( Read more... )

no, really. and i hate it. it makes me moody and gets me sick and when i walk outside it hurts. hell is freezing over.

i just want to go home to california. and i miss my mom.

hi mom!

i think eating is quite laborious. i mean, really, i have to stop what im doing and eat for the sake of feeling full and being awake. eating is such a waste of time!

i was reading this thing today about how people get sick. and i do about 5 of the 6 things mentioned. im malnourished, i mean, i have no appetite and when i eat i dont really, i take a lot of things and end up throwing most of it away, disgusted with it and myself. i dont sleep, i mean we dont have to talk about the 6 hours of sleep i got within 48 ( Read more... )

i keep trying to feed myself lately. i mean, i have no interest in food and the thought of having to go down to the dining hall again depresses me so much that i almost hate going ( Read more... )

and we ask ourselves, why all the irrelevant behavior? why all this time wasting and poor management skills and killing your body slowly? i just need to sleep, sleep, and get better.

today my mom told me my aunt has glaucoma. its the most shocking thing i've heard in a long while. how can that happen?  glaucoma is the silent sight killer. basically, its the number 2 cause for blindness.
im really not sure, what to say, or do.

http://www.imeem.com/artistoftheweek/music/mV7Um_jV/ingrid_michaelson_empty_bottle/

i love that song!

today was a shit day. housing problems. people are stupid. i think im gonna stay in tonight, i need to rest before icca tomorrow!

Look ( Read more... )

here we go again. yesterday cara had a crisis with human development and we were talking about just wanting to go home and get a home cooked meal, and not have to worry about this bullshit. i mean, i think i've progressed past the loneliness, the aching need to see my mother, and get out of fucking 30 degrees but really, i dont think i ever will. ( Read more... )

its 3 in the morning, of a hopeless week, and i realize that i am screwed for school.

on the other hand, I spoke to patrick dempsey today and i think im in love with him again. no, really. he loves radiohead so much on piano. he doesnt get much better than this.

do your work.

ill sleep sometime.