sometimes you just have to realize that life is not worth spending it hating people. it is way to short to spend it sitting around, brooding about what someone did to you. it took me a while to realize this. all this drama. all this hate and animosity, it's so beneath everyone. and i just wish people could see it. i wish people could just see how ( Read more... )

my journal = ugly. someone please help me because i am retarded. goodnight.

i was going to say something. but, i decided it would be better to keep my mouth shut.

today was, umm, interesting. don't get me wrong, it was really fun. but, uhh, yea, interesting to say the least. im really glad i spend the greater portion of the day with ashley and meghan. we had a blast during our wonderful two hours of california adventure. lol. what a joke ( Read more... )

its amazing how things can just start to feel better. like, there isn't any one particular catalyst for the change. but it just happens and you appreciate the fuck out of it becase you realize how much you needed it. its gets scary at times. and the past four days were definatley scary ( Read more... )

i'm so done with this life i am living. i need a vacation. a real, honest-to-god vacation. with no choir people. with no people judging me. just a chance to get away from everything and everyone and realize why i do the things i do again. everyone just needs to back the fuck off and let me breathe ( Read more... )

i don't even know what i am doing with myself anymore ( Read more... )

i feel so lonely right now. and i have to go to work tonight. when i go to work, i am alone for 4 1/2 hours. when you are lonely around people, its bad enough. but to be lonely and actually alone, it's the worst. if anyone reads this between the hours of 6 and 10:30 this evening, please call my cell phone. i would appreciate it more than anything. ( Read more... )

why do i feel bad? and why do i feel guilty? i didn't do anything wrong here and yet i feel like all the sadness is due to me. i did nothing but be your friend. nothing. and yet i feel like i've betrayed you. funny how that works. i actually feel bad for this situation and i didn't do a god damned thing wrong ( Read more... )

i didnt go to school today because i am sick. i had a fever last night and ive been coughing a lot. its not very fun ( Read more... )