Sod's law ?

[pinguthegreek]

Don't you hate it when you really hit it off with someone and they turn around and tell you they have stuff to deal with an need their space ?

Comments

[seaspark]

Yes! They are cretinous bastards, and not in a good way. Some day when you are off doing other things, they will wander back and be all sad that they were misguided.

[pinguthegreek]

But for me, the hardest thing is, he's not a cretinous bastard. Maybe yours was. But this man, well, maybe we got deep and meaningful too soon and maybe that's part of why he wanted to back off. We exchanged mobile numbers and when we talked, well, it was just so easy. Maybe a little too easy to not do the light kind of thing.

He says he has stuff to deal with and I don't think he's fibbing. But experience tells me that he hasn't been around in my life long enough for him to have a good reason to hang around in it...and I would like him to.

A different light.

[seaspark]

This is hard. I'm sorry. I know it feels rotten because it sounds like you had a real connection--and possibly, you still have it, present tense, just at a distance. And it sounds like he's a decent sort who did what a lot of us do: got into a relationship, felt something sudden and strong, and got scared. It's human. So the good news is that he's realized he has stuff to deal with, and he's realized that if he doesn't deal with it now, it could surface later to hurt both of you, and your relationship. I've been on both sides of this, and I've done dumb things and smart things. The best advice I've gotten is to back off and let him deal, take joy in your own life so that you don't obsess (because that too is human), and when he's ready, you'll be open to what he brings, but your whole world won't hinge on it. And you probably know all of this and are doing the right things, and feeling rotten anyway.

Re: A different light.

[pinguthegreek]

Well of course you're right. And him entering my life wasn't the greatest timing. Things that matter to me a lot have been taking place - things he doesn't know about and I didn't want to share. Nothing earth shattering, just personal.

And it's my thirty fifth birthday soon, so, you know, single and mid thirties, what a great combination....

I'm ready for some fun but there are reasons why he and I might have enjoyed each others company very much. I didn't mention that we met online and hadn't actually met - we had benn supposed to meet today.

I know it seems odd to be disappointed by someone I've never met, but my instinct just still tells me he may be important in my life and I actually pray I'll speak with him again.