seriously?

[his_cambria]

So this morning I was a lazy parent. It happens. Everybody does it at some point, right? The baby wakes up (more like the toddler, he is almost 2) and your not ready to get up yet so what do you do? I did what I wanted to do, of course. I got the kid out of bed, changed his diaper and took him back to bed with me. I knew he wouldn't be interested

Comments

[mummoth]

"If you're that concerned about the babies' well-being, why don't you move out so he won't have to live with a crackhead anymore" ...it wouldn't help anything, but it might feel good to say. Your best bet is probably just to ignore it.

It sounds like you're doing the best you can with what you have. He has no leg to stand on and he's trying to keep the attention off himself, because he's NOT doing his best.

[his_cambria]

i can understand that, and am honestly trying to get to a point I can move out. I moved out at 18 and i didn't have a dime to fall back on which is okay when i was the only one who had to live off of spagetti-o's and ramen soup but now i want some security. im building a savings and have managed to pay off all my debt except for my car loan but my goal is to have 5k in savings before i move out.

the problem is...the things he does are wrong, and it may sound petty but if i acted that way it would not ever be tolerated, i shudder at the thought of it yet my parents continue to coddle him and baby him. always paying his legal fees and his repo fees and warrent fees and just taking a loss whenever things come up missing.

it took everything in me to ask my parents if i could move back in when i was 4 6 months preg and had left my sons dad becuase he beat the crap out of me and... idk getting off track i guess. just dont understand why no one has ever made him hild himself accountable for his actions and choices. its frustrating.

[mummoth]

Oh, I understand that! It's not the same, but the difference in how my sisters are treated vs. me can be upsetting... my ex was abusive and shortly after I separated my mom said she wasn't going to babysit anymore, because she needed to take care of herself. Fair enough, except a few months later, she started babysitting my sisters' kids while she went out (she's married and her husband is super-involved with the kids, she can go out whenever she wants) yet I still had to scramble to find care for them when I had court dates or Dr.s appointments, forget about anything fun!

If you really think about it, being coddled isn't what you really want or need (okay, a little bit would be nice once in a while!!) In the long run, they're doing you a favour by holding you to a higher standard.

[his_cambria]

wow looks like your sister hit a goldmine lol. my mom will watch the baby two days a week while i work, and he goes to his other grandma's for the other 3 days. they both refuse to sit for anything other than work. i would sell my soul for a night out at this point. dont get me wrong, i love my son but i would like to see a movie instead of blues clues, or go to dinner someplace where they don't bring me a highchair and some crayons lol. going out to see some live music and having a few drinks sounds like heaven.

but its always been like that. i was expected to finish school with a certain GPA, not him. I was expected to move out at 18. not him. I was expected to take care of myself financially. not him. its disgusting.

[hestiax]

Living at home with my mom and 3 year old too. Lost my job a year ago. No one seems to understand that while maybe I could find a retail job, it wouldn't pay daycare and my mother refuses to watch my daughter. This said to say that I understand some of your stress. While my mother is unreasonable about lots of things, at least I don't have to worry about my stuff being stolen!

[his_cambria]

daycare is so expensive, isn't it? i know i would be drowning if i had to pay for it. it would be taking over half of what i was making each month.

[glass_lion]

If it were me, anytime he criticized my parenting I'd shoot back with, "Really? Is that how you woke up/fed/bathed YOUR child today?" And then just stare at him. Maybe chuckle.

Point being: a deadbeat parent has no right to criticize any REAL parent.

[his_cambria]

can't say anything to him w/o him flying off the handle. seriously like i confronted him about money missing one time and he went ape shit and knocked over the kitchen chairs and threw a candle across the room (my $30 salt city candle of course) and he didn't have to replace the missing money or the candle, i even had to sweep up the broken glass! thats just it, i have to silently take it or he makes the biggest scene and screams so loud. and i dont want my son hearing him scream especially the language he uses. i can only imagine what the neighbors must think :(