score one for the good guy

[emote1975]

So. My ex has always been married to her career. She's an equity partner looking to become a named partner before she's 40 in a law firm. Her dads kinda a big deal in DC so she has big shoes to fill and stops at nothing to do that

Comments

[mummoth]

I've had to employ the same strategy, unfortunately. My kids birth dad was absent for about 5 years and in the last year and a half has been in & out of their lives. He has a way of wording things so that it appears like he's trying to arrange a plan and I'm not co-operating with him. It's right in the court order that he's supposed to finalize plans with me before discussing it with the kids, but that never happens. He cancels on the kids last-minute, or makes up a 'misunderstanding' and tries to steamroll a visit in with no notice or consideration that they might have other plans

[emote1975]

Oh I totally agree about keeping them away from the crossfire and for the most parts any fights we have are never in front of them. She comes over 3 times a week 4 if we're lucky and we eat dinner and do homework together and then play board games or watch movies. I want them to always feel like they have a family even if we aren't all living together. She's pretty good about keeping her days but anything extra is like pulling teeth. I miss them like crazy if she takes them over night let alone 2 days

[mummoth]

I will only speak to my ex via email because he has a tendency to rewrite history... he still tries it even when I have documentation of what was said, but at least I can go back and quote what was said.

He is supposed to email and skype with the kids, but he blows that off. He answers some of the time when he receives an email. He's supposed to see them at least once a month but he's only bothered 5 times so far this year.

That would annoy me about only taking one of the kids, that makes it so you never get a break! I miss my kids too when they go on an overnight but sometimes it's nice to miss them a little bit.

[goldoyster]

My son is not even 3 and has recently started calling his father by his first name. He isn't old enough to witness the garbage but knows enough to see he isn't a father.

[emote1975]

Yea, they are pretty perceptive. My oldest told me tonight that he realized that nothing has really changed much since she moved out...that she wasn't here (mentally) even when she was here.

I called her and told her that she was losing them. Hopefully she gets it.

[goldoyster]

Why even torture yourself by trying to make her what she can't be? If we could change them we wouldn't have had to get a divorce. Your boys will see. It feels like you still have hope.

[glass_lion]

"score one for the good guy"? Yuck.

This isn't an elementary-school game. Grow up. Parenting isn't about YOU.

[twirlgrrl]

MTE.