Robble Robble Robble
I can't sleep. I think I drank too much tea while working on my term paper and studying for my spanish exam. Sadly, neither are done, but I'm not focused enough to continue on them tonight (this morning?). So instead I'm going to ramble on the internet, because that's much better than doing something productive liked studying.
I'm somewhat worried about my grades this term. Not "oh god I'm going to fail" worried, things don't look that dire in any of my classes. But nearly all of my current classes are borderline grades, meaning I have to put in extra effort for that last minute boost on the grading scale, and having to put that extra effort in during the next two days is mind numbingly stressful. My spanish class I'm pulling a solid C right now. IF I get an A on the final tomorrow, and I am correct that one or two of my assignments are not currently inputed, I might be able to get a B-. But if I don't show up for the final at all? I still have a 73% C. And if I just get a C or a B on the final? Still a C. There's pretty much nothing I can do to make it not a C except completely ace the test and have faith. Unfortunately my grade is this low because of my performance on written exams (the same as my chinese grades, actually...) I can't help but think that I have such a difficult time with foreign languages because I study english so damn much. I wish I had paid more attention to my language classes in high school, so I could test out of this shit, or at the very least make A's and B's in them.
Similarly, my speech class grade is a B. No way around that. Maybe a B+. But that doesn't matter, because a B- is a 2.75 to my GPA, according to FSU, but a B+ is still just a 3.0. How lame is that?
Both of my philosophy classes and my religion class have grades that revolve around papers and exams this week. if I get a decent grade on my philosophy paper I turned in last week, and do the make up quiz (which I think is due Tuesday) I can maybe get a B. And if I do well on the final for my other class I can maintain my B average, otherwise it's B- C+ land for me. Religion I have a solid B, unless I rock so much face on this paper, which could lead to a surprise A in the most aggravating class I have ever taken. I'm including journalism on that list. If it wasn't for my friends who are also taking it with me, I might have done something horrible that I won't post on here because this shit is public, and hell I don't want to get arrested for my thoughts.
I'm kind of nervous about the after college thing too. I've exchanged messages and emails with Particle9 Productions about writing submissions, and possible publication. It's kind of terrifying and kind of wonderful at the same time. On one hand, if this pans out I will publish a comic book that I completely created, and that is pretty much my life's ambition. If it all goes extremely well I'll have enough money for my own place and such, and a steady writing/editing gig doing what I love. On the other hand, if it doesn't I could waste a potentially wonderful idea on a company that won't be able to give it the same distribution as the Big Guys. Or, I'll do something stupid like sign away my creator's rights. Or it'll get published, but no one will read it and it will be critically panned, and I'll become the next Chuck Austen. And before any of this can happen, I have to finish the damn thing, a whopping projected 320 pages of script.
Most of my summer will be devoted to writing this.
I haven't heard back from any of the jobs I've applied for this summer, and my library job, while stable, may not be able to give me the extra hours that were earlier promised. Which makes Tallahassee less and less lucrative, and more of a "break even" kind of deal. Even then, having my own place and the privacy and space and time to write is extremely valuable, so I can have something to pitch to Particle9, and so I can have writing to work with during my workshops in the Fall.
I'm worried I won't graduate on time because of my lack of summer classes. Nearly everyone tells me it's not a huge deal and the university will waive the requirement, but that doesn't stop me from worrying.
Hell, I'm worried that I'll be offered my dream job when I graduate, but I will have to move to a town in central Florida to get it. Not that I have anything against central Florida, but I wonder if my relationship could survive another few years of this long distance bullshit. She won't be done with school by then, so won't be able to even contemplate going with me, and I would be a fool to turn down such a job. Hopefully it will be the kind of thing I can work at from anywhere, if I get it. Because otherwise I'm not sure what will happen, but the possibilities I have thought of terrify me.
Things I want to do before I turn 25:
1. Get published. Preferably Vigil.
2. Get a steady job "in the industy", regardless of comics, magazines, or regular print publishing. SOMETHING related to writing and editing that I can make a living on.
3. Use #2 to get my own place, and live independently of my parents. Because I love them dearly and desperately want to be someone they can be proud of, and because I don't like asking for money.
4. See the country. I plan on taking a road trip across the country when I graduate in a year, gas prices pending... I don't like the idea of living somewhere that I haven't even seen, and I think travelling would give me more fodder for stories.
5. At least propose. And yeah, it scares me that that's on this list. And it scares me that I'm putting this online. And it's not soon. But that doesn't mean never.
6. Meet my heroes. Including Mark Waid, Brad Warner, Joss Whedon, Stan Lee, Josh Howard, Chynna Clugston, Jamie S. Rich, and Mike Mignola. Do I think I'll meet all these people? Nah. But at least one or two off of the list would be pretty sweet.
7. Be better about keeping in touch with my friends. A lot of my friends live in different cities or states now, and it'll be even worse next year when most of them have graduated, and worse still after I graduate. I need to learn how to use the internet and the phone to keep in contact with people, or else I won't have any friends left.
8. Become less self absorbed. Stop talking about myself so damn much! (he says on his livejournal...)
9. Learn how to decorate a room without resorting to poster collages.
10. Be able to properly articulate myself when speaking of my beliefs, both spiritual and political. Be able to argue them without resorting to insults or rhetoric. Be able to take criticism on said beliefs. Be able to defend them against opposition, instead of being reduced to a stuttering mess.
Hopefully I can sleep now, but for some reason I doubt it. I'm gonna try and get up around 9 so I can fix my bike, study more spanish, and get a decent shift in at work before my exam at 3pm. We'll see how it goes. Placing bets that I oversleep, and skip work to study? The odds are good.
In addition, for those who want to know, I plan on being in Jacksonville for a week, give or take a few days, starting next Friday. Friday and Saturday I'll be at the Irish Festival with my brother and my lovely girlfriend, but the rest of the time I'm free, as far as I know. Speaking of trying to keep better contact with friends, who wants to meet up? Comment or call.
I'm somewhat worried about my grades this term. Not "oh god I'm going to fail" worried, things don't look that dire in any of my classes. But nearly all of my current classes are borderline grades, meaning I have to put in extra effort for that last minute boost on the grading scale, and having to put that extra effort in during the next two days is mind numbingly stressful. My spanish class I'm pulling a solid C right now. IF I get an A on the final tomorrow, and I am correct that one or two of my assignments are not currently inputed, I might be able to get a B-. But if I don't show up for the final at all? I still have a 73% C. And if I just get a C or a B on the final? Still a C. There's pretty much nothing I can do to make it not a C except completely ace the test and have faith. Unfortunately my grade is this low because of my performance on written exams (the same as my chinese grades, actually...) I can't help but think that I have such a difficult time with foreign languages because I study english so damn much. I wish I had paid more attention to my language classes in high school, so I could test out of this shit, or at the very least make A's and B's in them.
Similarly, my speech class grade is a B. No way around that. Maybe a B+. But that doesn't matter, because a B- is a 2.75 to my GPA, according to FSU, but a B+ is still just a 3.0. How lame is that?
Both of my philosophy classes and my religion class have grades that revolve around papers and exams this week. if I get a decent grade on my philosophy paper I turned in last week, and do the make up quiz (which I think is due Tuesday) I can maybe get a B. And if I do well on the final for my other class I can maintain my B average, otherwise it's B- C+ land for me. Religion I have a solid B, unless I rock so much face on this paper, which could lead to a surprise A in the most aggravating class I have ever taken. I'm including journalism on that list. If it wasn't for my friends who are also taking it with me, I might have done something horrible that I won't post on here because this shit is public, and hell I don't want to get arrested for my thoughts.
I'm kind of nervous about the after college thing too. I've exchanged messages and emails with Particle9 Productions about writing submissions, and possible publication. It's kind of terrifying and kind of wonderful at the same time. On one hand, if this pans out I will publish a comic book that I completely created, and that is pretty much my life's ambition. If it all goes extremely well I'll have enough money for my own place and such, and a steady writing/editing gig doing what I love. On the other hand, if it doesn't I could waste a potentially wonderful idea on a company that won't be able to give it the same distribution as the Big Guys. Or, I'll do something stupid like sign away my creator's rights. Or it'll get published, but no one will read it and it will be critically panned, and I'll become the next Chuck Austen. And before any of this can happen, I have to finish the damn thing, a whopping projected 320 pages of script.
Most of my summer will be devoted to writing this.
I haven't heard back from any of the jobs I've applied for this summer, and my library job, while stable, may not be able to give me the extra hours that were earlier promised. Which makes Tallahassee less and less lucrative, and more of a "break even" kind of deal. Even then, having my own place and the privacy and space and time to write is extremely valuable, so I can have something to pitch to Particle9, and so I can have writing to work with during my workshops in the Fall.
I'm worried I won't graduate on time because of my lack of summer classes. Nearly everyone tells me it's not a huge deal and the university will waive the requirement, but that doesn't stop me from worrying.
Hell, I'm worried that I'll be offered my dream job when I graduate, but I will have to move to a town in central Florida to get it. Not that I have anything against central Florida, but I wonder if my relationship could survive another few years of this long distance bullshit. She won't be done with school by then, so won't be able to even contemplate going with me, and I would be a fool to turn down such a job. Hopefully it will be the kind of thing I can work at from anywhere, if I get it. Because otherwise I'm not sure what will happen, but the possibilities I have thought of terrify me.
Things I want to do before I turn 25:
1. Get published. Preferably Vigil.
2. Get a steady job "in the industy", regardless of comics, magazines, or regular print publishing. SOMETHING related to writing and editing that I can make a living on.
3. Use #2 to get my own place, and live independently of my parents. Because I love them dearly and desperately want to be someone they can be proud of, and because I don't like asking for money.
4. See the country. I plan on taking a road trip across the country when I graduate in a year, gas prices pending... I don't like the idea of living somewhere that I haven't even seen, and I think travelling would give me more fodder for stories.
5. At least propose. And yeah, it scares me that that's on this list. And it scares me that I'm putting this online. And it's not soon. But that doesn't mean never.
6. Meet my heroes. Including Mark Waid, Brad Warner, Joss Whedon, Stan Lee, Josh Howard, Chynna Clugston, Jamie S. Rich, and Mike Mignola. Do I think I'll meet all these people? Nah. But at least one or two off of the list would be pretty sweet.
7. Be better about keeping in touch with my friends. A lot of my friends live in different cities or states now, and it'll be even worse next year when most of them have graduated, and worse still after I graduate. I need to learn how to use the internet and the phone to keep in contact with people, or else I won't have any friends left.
8. Become less self absorbed. Stop talking about myself so damn much! (he says on his livejournal...)
9. Learn how to decorate a room without resorting to poster collages.
10. Be able to properly articulate myself when speaking of my beliefs, both spiritual and political. Be able to argue them without resorting to insults or rhetoric. Be able to take criticism on said beliefs. Be able to defend them against opposition, instead of being reduced to a stuttering mess.
Hopefully I can sleep now, but for some reason I doubt it. I'm gonna try and get up around 9 so I can fix my bike, study more spanish, and get a decent shift in at work before my exam at 3pm. We'll see how it goes. Placing bets that I oversleep, and skip work to study? The odds are good.
In addition, for those who want to know, I plan on being in Jacksonville for a week, give or take a few days, starting next Friday. Friday and Saturday I'll be at the Irish Festival with my brother and my lovely girlfriend, but the rest of the time I'm free, as far as I know. Speaking of trying to keep better contact with friends, who wants to meet up? Comment or call.