For class

[singyoular]

A Patriot Acts

The glass is easy to lift from the outside.

It would be harder with gloves,
leather making that squeaking sound
as my fingertips search for traction
on the well cleaned window pane.
I am close enough to smell Windex,

even through this painter’s mask I
borrowed from my brother-in-law
I can feel the chemicals chilling my skin.

It is hard

Comments

[jream]

I have no idea what is going on in this poem, yet I am strangely compelled by it. Why does the narrator have to teach then a lesson? Who is "she" who reminds him of another girl? Is he killing them, or only suppressing them?

This really makes me want a Part II. Beautiful imagery. I can see/smell/hear/almost taste it.

[singyoular]

Well, thank you for the comments. This poem is going to have another draft and it'll appear online, don't worry. It'll be a bit more specific. That said, I hope there isn't a part two, though there probably will be.
The poem is my reaction to this:
http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/content/oh/story/news/local/2008/09/27/ddn092608evacweb.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=16
Which isn't being reported in any media except for the local paper, which honestly doesn't seem to be doing that great of a job itself. I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I wrote a poem.

[jream]

That is absolutely terrible. A little girl, no less. You know, whenever a white man kills a black man, it's a hate crime, end of story. But when a man sprays a ten-year-old girl in the face at a mosque after the recent release of an anti-Islam propaganda DVD around the neighborhood it's not a hate crime. That's ridiculous. Anyway, I understand your poem a lot more now, and I like that he almost has a hint of remorse when he thinks he might know the girl, then pushes it away and sprays the crap anyway.

I'd like to see your next draft. I think I would have gotten hate crime theme immediately if the title had been a tad different, or if you suggested something about Islam in there.

[singyoular]

Yeaaaaaah, I was trying to hint at it with the "gibberish" line, but it didn't come out as forceful. And I have a bad habit of naming first drafts as puns. Next draft will probably be called "Ohio Mosque, 2008" which will fix both of those problems, and the one a few people in my workshops didn't get, of "7 years of hate". I was being too subtle. I'm definitely gonna rework it and send it into poetry magazine, since they've been mad political over the last few years.

The campus ministry I'm a part of wanted to do a vigil or something for this after I told them about it... but I don't think it's timely enough, since it's been a week. It's being suppressed in the media anyway, because of the DVD connection. I dunno. I can't stop feeling disgusted. Like... can you imagine if the reverse of this were true? If a Muslim man commit assault on a Sunday School class? How much of a media shitstorm would that be... ugh.