Can't Sleep
Can't sleep. Ramblings ahead.
Resolutions:
Eat healthier by purchasing healthier food to cook.
Work out more, by playing raquetball with Paul and/or Eric.
Use less electricity.
Graduate.
Get published, with or without P9P. (I'm not ready to burn that bridge, but I am seriously annoyed at the lack of work being done on my projects, and the lack of input for new ones.)
Get angry less.
Don't get sick as often.
Buy less useless stuff (cards and whatnot. I'm hesitant to throw comics in here, since I want to work in them and want to keep up with them for that reason. But they're on the chopping block.)
My vacation:
Was fun. Sadly didn't see Nicole for the first week of it. Or any of my friends. But I got some serious bonding with family. They're all crazy, but I like 'em. Christmas was good, I got a fairly large haul of stuff (and I'm materialistic, and it matters) and people seemed to like what I got them. After, I spent most of New Years week in West Palm Beach with Nicole, which let me catch up with Stephen, and get some quality time with Nicole. Somewhere before that I saw a bunch of my friends and caught up with Hellinger, which was nice. Then I came back, got some gaming in, and went back to Tallahassee.
Now:
Ugh, I'm bored, homesick, depressed, angry, and physically ill. I'm hoping the ill will go away in a day or so, but I may have to go to Thagard, time will tell. I can't sleep, so I'm websurfing (instead of any number of productive things I could do, like cleaning my house, unpacking the rest of my stuff, or even reading a book) and all that. I really hate that I finally know what I want and what I want to do, but I can't do or have it. It's completely out of my control, and that is pretty awful. I like Jacksonville, and dislike Tallahassee. I have a lot of friends here, and I'd miss them if I left, but not as much as I miss my family and girlfriend. With a few exceptions, friends can be visitors once in a while, and I'm ok. Also, I hate living alone. It just kind of magnifies the homesickness, the whole "there's nothing for you here" feeling, to the point where I can't shake it without going out with friends, and when I come back it's just there, waiting for me.
I killed the Jeep, so I'm driving Joe again. It's scary, because he's just not as safe or comfortable. As much as I missed him and like stick shift, the Jeep is just a better ride. But I don't have the money to fix it right now. I don't have the money for anything right now. Some friends are donating plasma to get money, but the whole idea freaks me out. I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll start plugging away at scripts in my free time again (while I have it) and hope to get picked up by someone who will actually publish it, and perhaps even pay me for the trouble.
Future:
I have until May. I might have a summer subleaser, at least for part of the summer, and that's happy. I need to contact grandparents about getting rid of furniture to make sure they don't mind. I need to clean the apartment thoroughly tomorrow, because it's...not. I need to go grocery shopping and to the library. My classes should be lighter this semester so I need to write more. With days free I can do 10-15 a week (summer taught me that) easily, let's see if I can do five a week with classes and work. Maybe it'll work.
I can't wait to graduate. I need substantial time off, to decompress and write. I want to be closer to Nicole. Leaving is getting worse for me, and I think I can tough it out, but only by thinking to myself "It's only a few months..." and I don't think that's the healthiest way about this.
Resolutions:
Eat healthier by purchasing healthier food to cook.
Work out more, by playing raquetball with Paul and/or Eric.
Use less electricity.
Graduate.
Get published, with or without P9P. (I'm not ready to burn that bridge, but I am seriously annoyed at the lack of work being done on my projects, and the lack of input for new ones.)
Get angry less.
Don't get sick as often.
Buy less useless stuff (cards and whatnot. I'm hesitant to throw comics in here, since I want to work in them and want to keep up with them for that reason. But they're on the chopping block.)
My vacation:
Was fun. Sadly didn't see Nicole for the first week of it. Or any of my friends. But I got some serious bonding with family. They're all crazy, but I like 'em. Christmas was good, I got a fairly large haul of stuff (and I'm materialistic, and it matters) and people seemed to like what I got them. After, I spent most of New Years week in West Palm Beach with Nicole, which let me catch up with Stephen, and get some quality time with Nicole. Somewhere before that I saw a bunch of my friends and caught up with Hellinger, which was nice. Then I came back, got some gaming in, and went back to Tallahassee.
Now:
Ugh, I'm bored, homesick, depressed, angry, and physically ill. I'm hoping the ill will go away in a day or so, but I may have to go to Thagard, time will tell. I can't sleep, so I'm websurfing (instead of any number of productive things I could do, like cleaning my house, unpacking the rest of my stuff, or even reading a book) and all that. I really hate that I finally know what I want and what I want to do, but I can't do or have it. It's completely out of my control, and that is pretty awful. I like Jacksonville, and dislike Tallahassee. I have a lot of friends here, and I'd miss them if I left, but not as much as I miss my family and girlfriend. With a few exceptions, friends can be visitors once in a while, and I'm ok. Also, I hate living alone. It just kind of magnifies the homesickness, the whole "there's nothing for you here" feeling, to the point where I can't shake it without going out with friends, and when I come back it's just there, waiting for me.
I killed the Jeep, so I'm driving Joe again. It's scary, because he's just not as safe or comfortable. As much as I missed him and like stick shift, the Jeep is just a better ride. But I don't have the money to fix it right now. I don't have the money for anything right now. Some friends are donating plasma to get money, but the whole idea freaks me out. I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll start plugging away at scripts in my free time again (while I have it) and hope to get picked up by someone who will actually publish it, and perhaps even pay me for the trouble.
Future:
I have until May. I might have a summer subleaser, at least for part of the summer, and that's happy. I need to contact grandparents about getting rid of furniture to make sure they don't mind. I need to clean the apartment thoroughly tomorrow, because it's...not. I need to go grocery shopping and to the library. My classes should be lighter this semester so I need to write more. With days free I can do 10-15 a week (summer taught me that) easily, let's see if I can do five a week with classes and work. Maybe it'll work.
I can't wait to graduate. I need substantial time off, to decompress and write. I want to be closer to Nicole. Leaving is getting worse for me, and I think I can tough it out, but only by thinking to myself "It's only a few months..." and I don't think that's the healthiest way about this.