Comments | sinnatious: The Fifth Act, Chapter 12

sinnatious

The Fifth Act, Chapter 12

Dec 06, 2009 10:32

Title: The Fifth Act

Rating: T for violence.

Summary: FFVII Time-travel. Gen. Cloud has an accident with a Time Materia.

Author's Note: Neighbours thought it would be awesome to start partying at 4:30 in the morning and still haven't stopped. So this chapter may contain more mistakes than normal. Please point out any that you see ( Read more... )

act v, final fantasy, time travel, longfic, fanfiction

Comments 17

caterfree10 January 3 2012, 20:29:06 UTC

Mmmm, word chess, gotta love it. Especially when it involves Turks. x3

Don't have too much I want to touch upon this chapter, hrm. :Va Though I adore the hell out of the last line. Because if Rufus was aware of what's going on in this timeline, he would be laughing his ass off. XD

anonymous April 25 2012, 07:50:02 UTC

Cool story. Probably the only time-travel tale I've read that's attention holding. It doesn't fall into that unimaginative, rerun-but-the-way-it-should-have-happened type business they usually do.

Unfortunately, a lot of your story also seems to depend on Cloud being an idiot. I mean, it's fine in that way that a person can justify Cloud's stupidity, but it still leaves a bleh taste in my mouth.

That said, I'm curious if maybe Cloud could have asked Tseng to keep him updated on Hojo and Hollanders whereabouts? Tseng is basically saying that Cloud can ask for anything, and since Cloud made a point of displaying his distaste for science, perhaps he could parlay that to his advantage somehow.

anonymous January 5 2013, 03:42:59 UTC

I think it's less a manner of intelligence, and more a combination of lack of social graces (due to a difficult, semi-isolated and ostracized childhood resulting in shyness and distrust + 4 years of his adolescence as an experiment + 1 in a coma-like state + all the insanity of FFVII) and the fact that he was only starting to more or less get over all his traumas when he was thrown right back to stare them all in the face one more time. It's a difficult situation to be in ( ... )

sinnatious January 5 2013, 04:23:51 UTC

Ah, your comment made me realise I never replied to the original comment. It's kind of nice when other readers will wade into the dicussion for me, though!

It's a valid enough suggestion, but I am always wary of making Cloud (or Vincent, for that matter) into a Gary Stu. He's already armed with foreknowledge and strength enough to defeat Sephiroth - if he were emotionally rock-solid and had a genius-level flare for planning as well... I don't think I could write that in a way that made him still feel in character and keep the stakes as high. Maybe some authors could, but it's not how I chose to write this one.

anon you replied to anonymous January 7 2013, 03:55:14 UTC

C:

To pull of something like that in any believable form would require a different approach than normal "what ifs" and time travel fics, and the result would be very, very different from something like The Fifth Act, for example.

In fact, someone did a somewhat short, interesting story along those lines, with Vincent, of all people:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8281862/1/The-Turks-Way

I give the author kudos for at least doing things I would never have even expected and both solving problems I didn't think of while not managing to solve everything.