Fanfiction: Tell Me A Story
A/N: I would like to apologize to my teammates if this is not up to their standards. I tried my best and I am sorry I did not have the opportunity to email this to you for beta reading. The contest deadline arrived much sooner than anticipated. I hope this does not inconvenience whoever will be following me.
Please note this is my first fanfiction in a very long time.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Naruto?” Sakura asked for what was like the five millionth time. A nervous look was on her face as she continued to neatly fold clothing into a travel pack.
Naruto waved a dismissive hand and said, “Yeah, yeah! I’ve got this, Sakura. It’s no problem.”
“I’m so sorry about this,” she continued, slinging the now overstuffed pack onto her shoulders. Her eyes darted quickly over his shoulder before she leaned in closer to whisper, “I know Kakashi meant for this to be romantic and all … but this is just a little too short notice, you know?”
“Don’t be too mad at him,” he reassured with a chuckle. “He was just trying to do something nice.”
“I know… but, damn it, did he have to wait until the day of to tell me he’d made plans for a weekend getaway? And then to not make any arrangements for a babysitter?” She sighed heavily and shook her head. “I feel really awful asking you to do this.”
“Aw, it’s okay. It’s not like I was doing anything else. And, hey, it’ll be fun! So don’t you worry about a thing.”
She flashed him a grateful smile over her shoulder as they exited the bedroom. Naruto beamed back, happy that he could help his friends out. He knew both Kakashi and Sakura needed this break; she’d been pulling really long hours at the hospital and he’d been busy training a new genin team. Add that to being parents and in a relationship and it was no wonder both of them were worn out. The last time the three of them had met for lunch, Sakura had nearly fallen asleep in her ramen and Kakashi had repeated the same conversation three times without even realizing it.
So, if babysitting last minute was what it took to get them a much needed break, he was the man for the job. He was gonna be the best babysitter Konoha had ever seen!
“There should be enough groceries to get you through the weekend,” Sakura instructed as she headed toward the door. “Harou and Isa have to practice their Academy lessons for at least two hours every day, including a review of jutsus and hand seals. The rice cooker is digital, so all you have to do is set it and walk away. Isa likes to have her rice seasoned and Harou takes his plain. If you pull out something from the freezer first thing in the morning, it’ll be thawed in time for dinner. Snacks are in the cupboard to the right of the stove. We have juice boxes, dried fruit, nuts… healthy stuff. No junk food, please.”
Naruto nodded along with all the directions she was firing at him while she checked and rechecked to make sure she had everything she needed. To be honest though, all of it was kinda going over his head. There was a lot of information coming at him real fast and it was hard to focus when she was rushing around and doing things at the same time. But, hey, it was babysitting. How hard could it be?
“They both need to be in bed by nine at the absolute latest. No exceptions,” Sakura told him sternly as she fastened a belt around her hips. “Harou gets thirsty at night, so please make sure there’s a glass of water by his bed. Isa absolutely cannot sleep without her nightlight on. Oh! I should probably show you how to set the dehumidifier….”
That probably would have been a good idea, but just then Kakashi poked his head in from the front hallway and said, “Sakura. We have to go now.”
Sakura raked a hand back through her hair and cast a frazzled look around the living room. “The television remote. Sometimes the buttons can be a little fussy, but if you-”
“Sakura, I think Naruto can figure out how to turn on and off the television,” her husband interrupted her impatiently. “Come on, we’re running late.”
Letting out an exacerbated sigh, the pink haired woman threw her hands into the air in an I-give-up gesture and hurried for the door. Naruto followed at her heels, smiling broadly. “We’ll be back late Sunday night,” Sakura said. “If you run into any problems-“
“I know, I know. Kurenai’s down the block and Yamato-taichou’s on medical leave so he’ll be around, too,” Naruto concluded, proud that at least one important detail had made it through. He grinned at her to show that he could do this. “You two have fun and don’t worry! Everything’s gonna be great!”
“Thanks again, Naruto,” Kakashi said as he began to usher his wife out the door with a hand to her back. He paused to ruffle the hair of two children standing in a sullen line by the door. “Behave yourselves for Naruto-niisan.”
The siblings both mumbled a glum, “Yes, dad.”
Sakura knelt down in front of them, nearly causing Kakashi to trip right over her back. She hugged each child in turn, took the time to smooth out the damage their father had done to their hair, and tried to keep a happy face despite the fact there were tears in her eyes. “Have fun, darlings,” she said, her voice wavering a little. “And do what Naruto says. Mom and dad love you very much, okay? We’ll be back before you know it.”
“Sakura, we really have to go,” Kakashi admonished.
She whipped her head up and fixed him with such a ferocious scowl it immediate made his brow break out in a sweat. “I’m saying goodbye to our children. Do you mind?” she growled. “And you’re hardly one to talk about being on time!”
Both Naruto and Kakashi took two giant steps back. It was never a wise thing to get in the way of a mother’s love, after all. Especially if that mother used pinpoint accurate chakra control to punch holes through concrete several feet thick.
After getting a good, long look at her two children, Sakura sighed reluctantly and stood up. She sniffled and blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling. “They can have snacks on the couch when watching television,” she said, the words cracking a little as they came out. “No sugar after six o’clock though. Be sure they brush their teeth. And make sure Harou is wearing clean underwear.”
Naruto’s eyes nearly bugged from his head. Just how was he supposed to check for that? An idea of him examining some kid’s boxer shorts came to mind and was quickly squelshed. So not happening!
“Mom,” their son complained, shooting her a sour glare for having embarrassed him in front of others.
“Well, Harou-kun, sometimes you just grab the first thing lying on your floor and-”
“Okay, time to go,” Kakashi intervened, quickly shoving her out the door. “Naruto, help yourself to whatever’s in the house. We’ll see you in a few days.”
“Bye, darlings!” Sakura called, twisting against the hold Kakashi had on her upper arm to wave at her children. “Please be good! Try not to get into trouble! Make sure you help Naruto-niisan with the chores! Isa, no practicing fire jutsus in the house!”
“Bye, see ya Sunday! I’ve got this all under control!” Naruto called after them. He stood in the open doorway and waved enthusiastically to the departing duo, grinning from one ear to the other. He waited until they disappeared around a corner before turning around and shutting the door.
Waiting for him were two kids, one six and the other four. The older one, Harou, had his lip turned out in an impressively grumpy pout. His younger sister Isa’s lip was quivering and her wide grey eyes were watery. She’d either just bit her tongue or was gearing up for some majorly impressive water works.
Naruto gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. This was gonna be easy. Yeah. Easiest thing ever.
He hoped.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Kakashi very nearly rolled his eyes when he caught Sakura glancing back over her shoulder for the twelfth time. “Relax, Sakura,” he insisted, settling an arm around her shoulders in a display of support. In reality, he did it on the off chance that she might decide to bolt back home to their kids.
Sakura let out a heavy breath and stared glumly down at her feet. “I know it’s silly to be concerned … but this is the first time we’ve both been away from them for more than a day,” she explained. “What if something happens? What if Naruto can’t handle it? I mean, has he ever babysat before?” Her eyes rounded fearfully. “Did we check the smoke alarm batteries? Maybe I should….”
“No,” he said firmly, his hand clamping a little more securely on her shoulder. “The batteries were replaced not even a week ago. Naruto will be just fine, Sakura. The kids will be, too.”
“But couldn’t we have taken them-”
“Sakura, when was the last time it was just you, me, and a bed for an entire night?”
She frowned, her brow knitting as she tried to recall that rare occurrence.
“Exactly,” he concluded triumphantly. “If it’s not Isa being frightened of samurai hiding in her closet, it’s Harou getting up to use the bathroom six times in one night.”
“Or Pakkun sneaking in to sleep at the foot of the bed,” she added, her voice taking on a defensive edge for her children.
“Or that,” Kakashi conceded, not wanting to trigger her protective mother instincts. “My point is, we don’t get any time together. You and I. And I miss that. Sakura, we need this vacation.”
Sakura stared petulantly at the ground as they continued walking, her arms folding across her chest. “I don’t know… I feel guilty leaving Harou and Isa behind.”
Kakashi gave her a quick hug and kissed the top of her head. “Trust me, they most definitely do not want to be around for what I’ve got planned.”
She made a scoffing sound and rolled her eyes at him. “Yes, yes. I’m sure you’re going to sex my brains out. You don’t need to be all smug about it though.”
“Sex your brains out?” It was now his turn snort disdainfully. “Sakura, I’m not going to just sex your brains out. I’m going to forty-three you on that mattress until you can’t walk straight.”
Sakura’s frown deepened, though it was more out of confusion than gloom. “Forty-three?”
In answer, Kakashi reached behind him for Icha Icha Tactics and opened it to page forty-three. She took it from him, her eyes scanning over the words curiously.
Her eyes widened.
Her jaw dropped.
She uttered a soft, “Oh, my….”
And the next thing Kakashi knew, he was being dragged at a sprint down the road. Apparently, Sakura really liked the idea of him forty-threeing her repeatedly.
*~*~*~*~*~*
This was a disaster. A nightmare - no, hell. Yeah, this was definitely hell.
As soon as the door closed after Kakashi and Sakura, things started falling apart. Harou had immediately stomped off to his room and slammed the door to the bedroom he shared with Isa. Unfortunately, the boy either hadn’t realized or hadn’t cared that his baby sister was right behind him. Isa ended up catching the door with her face and she hadn’t stopped crying since - and by crying, he meant full on bawling her eyes out with the occasional reprieve where all she did was sniffle and whimper a little.
That’d been almost six hours ago. He would’ve thought she’d run out of tears by now. Seriously, she was a kid. She was a tiny kid. It didn’t seem natural that someone so small could hold that much water.
He’d tried to comfort her as best he could: told her jokes (which only made her cry harder), promised her that mommy and daddy would be back soon (he got kicked in the shin for that one), and bribed her with ice cream after dinner if she stopped crying (it worked until she discovered there wasn’t any ice cream in the house). She’d continued to drip snot and tears into the snack he’d given her, kept wiping her nose on her sleeve when they were watching TV - and when her sleeve became too wet, she switched to the couch arm. Naruto cringed and made a mental note not to sit on that side of the couch ever.
His attempts at drawing Harou out of the bedroom were even less successful. It’d started with responses of “no”, which then progressed into “go away”, which later on became nothing but silence. At first, Naruto had thought maybe the boy had snuck out the window or something, but every time he poked his head in it was to find Harou sitting on the floor with his back to the door and his arms folded. He’d even double checked by using a genjutsu release and triple checked by actually walking into the room to see Harou glaring at the far wall.
Hey, he wasn’t trying to be suspicious or anything … but the kid’s dad was notorious for slipping away and leaving a clone behind. Or not even bothering with a clone and just propping a scarecrow in place. Naruto wasn’t taking any chances with the offspring of a Hatake.
All in all, his first run of babysitting was gonna be his last - more than likely because Sakura was gonna kill him when she got back. He could only hope that maybe Kakashi would see that he’d really tried his best and was able to either cool his wife’s temper or distract her long enough for him to get the hell out of there. Maybe move to Suna where Gaara could protect him from an enraged medic nin wanting to punch his head off his shoulders for upsetting her children.
Now he knew what people meant by being at the end of their rope. He’d tried everything he could think of to cheer the kids up, but none of it was working. It was almost as if they didn’t want to be cheered up. Naruto didn’t like thinking that he couldn’t do this … but maybe he couldn’t. Who would’ve thought Konoha’s number one shinobi would be brought down by babysitting?
Sighing heavily, Naruto scruffed his hands roughly through his hair and stood up off the couch. Isa’s eyes immediately darted to him from the corner she’d curled up in, one tiny hand curled tightly in a soggy blanket. She pulled her thumb from her mouth with a wet pop, sniffled hard, and whimpered, “W-Where’re you goin’?”
“Just to the kitchen,” he replied, flashing her a cheerful smile. “Gonna see about making some dinner. You hungry?”
The girl nodded tentatively before scooting herself off the couch to follow him. Tears were still dripping from her eyes, her nose and chin were red from wiping, and every other breath or so was punctuated with a hiccup. She dragged the blanket after her, despite the fact that it was easily almost four times longer than she was tall. But at least she was interacting with him now - and not in a tearful way.
Happy that his luck was shifting for the better, Naruto rubbed his hands together and opened the fridge. “Okay, let’s see what we’ve got in here! Looks like there’s some chicken we could cook up.”
“Don’t like chick’n,” Isa replied near his hip as she too peered into the refrigerator.
“Okay… how about some leftover soup?”
“Don’t like sthoup.”
“Hey, there’s some really yummy looking vegetables in the drawer!”
“Don’t like vejibles.”
Naruto let out disappointed breath, his shoulders slumping out of frustration. “Is there anything you do like, Isa-chan?”
At that, Isa’s lip quibbled pitifully. Her big grey eyes watered up and her entire face crumpled into fresh sobs. “Mommy!” she wailed. “I like mommy!”
Damn it, not again! He’d thought she was done with all the tears! Naruto slapped a hand over his face and groaned. This was crazy. One kid refused to leave his room, the other wouldn’t stop crying. What the hell had he gotten himself into?
“Listen, Isa-chan,” Naruto explained, squatting down so they were on the same level. “Mommy and daddy will be back soon, okay? In the meantime, I’m gonna take care of you. We’re gonna have lots of fun and play games and watch TV. Doesn’t that sound great?”
“I want mommy!” she sobbed, letting her blanket drop to the floor. She lifted her arms up to him imploringly, her entire face a couple shades of pink darker than her hair. “I misth daddy and mommy!”
Naruto eyed her wet cheeks and dripping nose distastefully. A grimace crossed his face as he opened his arms and let Isa hug him, her cries muffled into his shoulder. Her ragged breaths were hot and moist, telling him that in addition to snot and tears he was now covered in drool. But if this was what she wanted… He hugged her to him, one hand rubbing her back like he’d seen other parents do for crying kids as he lifted her up into his arms.
“It’s okay,” he soothed her. “It’s gonna be okay. How ‘bout we come back to dinner later and just hang out, huh? Maybe we could … uh … um….” Maybe they could what? Jokes didn’t work, she wasn’t interested in games, and he didn’t think the poor couch could stand much more abuse. So what was left for him to do with a crying child?
He searched through the living room for something he could distract her with. Toys were strewn across the hardwood floor, there were a few wooden practice weapons mingled in… His eyes fell on the bookcase and suddenly an idea came to mind.
Prying her away from him just enough to meet her sloppy face, Naruto asked excitedly, “Hey, want me to tell you a story?”
“Don’t like stowies,” she sniffled, rubbing her eyes with tiny fists.
“Not even stories about mommy and daddy?”
Her fists dropped away and the sobs stopped. She was still sniffling like crazy and the hiccups had gotten worse … but for the first time since her parents had left, there wasn’t a single tear. “’Mommy and daddy?” she repeated.
Naruto nodded, shifting her to one hip as he carried her back into the living room. “Yep, that’s right! See, I’ve known your mom and dad for a very long time, so I know all kinds of stories about them. Like there was this one time where your dad was hiding from your mom underground and she ripped the ground up right over his head. You should’ve seen his face, he was all like-“ He bugged his eyes out and dropped his mouth open as far as it could go in pantomime of Kakashi’s reaction.
To his utter relief, Isa giggled around the section of her shirt she was chewing on.
“And then there’s this one time where your dad fought off a seriously bad ass - OW!” Naruto rubbed a hand across the cheek the little girl had just slapped. That hurt! “What the heck was that for?!”
Isa scowled and reprimanded, “Dat’s a no-no word!”
Great, now he was getting scolded by a four-year-old. If that ever got out, Kiba would never let him hear the end of it! He’d have to be careful about language use around her. “Er… sorry about that, Isa-chan. I promise I won’t say it again,” he apologized as he sat them both down on the couch.
Satisfied that there wouldn’t be any more no-no words, the little girl snuggled up next to him and said, “I wanna hear a stowy ‘bout mommy and daddy.”
“Sure thing, kiddo! Let’s see… it’s gotta be a really good one….” Every story he could think of involved missions. He didn’t think Kakashi and Sakura would appreciate him telling their little girl about all the many people they’d either seriously maimed or killed over the years. Crap, this was gonna be harder than he thought!
Finally, he remembered one that, with just a little editing, wouldn’t be too scarring for a four-year-old girl. Clearing his throat, Naruto began as all good stories should, “Once upon a time, there were two very cool ninja named Kakashi and Sakura….”
Please note this is my first fanfiction in a very long time.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Naruto?” Sakura asked for what was like the five millionth time. A nervous look was on her face as she continued to neatly fold clothing into a travel pack.
Naruto waved a dismissive hand and said, “Yeah, yeah! I’ve got this, Sakura. It’s no problem.”
“I’m so sorry about this,” she continued, slinging the now overstuffed pack onto her shoulders. Her eyes darted quickly over his shoulder before she leaned in closer to whisper, “I know Kakashi meant for this to be romantic and all … but this is just a little too short notice, you know?”
“Don’t be too mad at him,” he reassured with a chuckle. “He was just trying to do something nice.”
“I know… but, damn it, did he have to wait until the day of to tell me he’d made plans for a weekend getaway? And then to not make any arrangements for a babysitter?” She sighed heavily and shook her head. “I feel really awful asking you to do this.”
“Aw, it’s okay. It’s not like I was doing anything else. And, hey, it’ll be fun! So don’t you worry about a thing.”
She flashed him a grateful smile over her shoulder as they exited the bedroom. Naruto beamed back, happy that he could help his friends out. He knew both Kakashi and Sakura needed this break; she’d been pulling really long hours at the hospital and he’d been busy training a new genin team. Add that to being parents and in a relationship and it was no wonder both of them were worn out. The last time the three of them had met for lunch, Sakura had nearly fallen asleep in her ramen and Kakashi had repeated the same conversation three times without even realizing it.
So, if babysitting last minute was what it took to get them a much needed break, he was the man for the job. He was gonna be the best babysitter Konoha had ever seen!
“There should be enough groceries to get you through the weekend,” Sakura instructed as she headed toward the door. “Harou and Isa have to practice their Academy lessons for at least two hours every day, including a review of jutsus and hand seals. The rice cooker is digital, so all you have to do is set it and walk away. Isa likes to have her rice seasoned and Harou takes his plain. If you pull out something from the freezer first thing in the morning, it’ll be thawed in time for dinner. Snacks are in the cupboard to the right of the stove. We have juice boxes, dried fruit, nuts… healthy stuff. No junk food, please.”
Naruto nodded along with all the directions she was firing at him while she checked and rechecked to make sure she had everything she needed. To be honest though, all of it was kinda going over his head. There was a lot of information coming at him real fast and it was hard to focus when she was rushing around and doing things at the same time. But, hey, it was babysitting. How hard could it be?
“They both need to be in bed by nine at the absolute latest. No exceptions,” Sakura told him sternly as she fastened a belt around her hips. “Harou gets thirsty at night, so please make sure there’s a glass of water by his bed. Isa absolutely cannot sleep without her nightlight on. Oh! I should probably show you how to set the dehumidifier….”
That probably would have been a good idea, but just then Kakashi poked his head in from the front hallway and said, “Sakura. We have to go now.”
Sakura raked a hand back through her hair and cast a frazzled look around the living room. “The television remote. Sometimes the buttons can be a little fussy, but if you-”
“Sakura, I think Naruto can figure out how to turn on and off the television,” her husband interrupted her impatiently. “Come on, we’re running late.”
Letting out an exacerbated sigh, the pink haired woman threw her hands into the air in an I-give-up gesture and hurried for the door. Naruto followed at her heels, smiling broadly. “We’ll be back late Sunday night,” Sakura said. “If you run into any problems-“
“I know, I know. Kurenai’s down the block and Yamato-taichou’s on medical leave so he’ll be around, too,” Naruto concluded, proud that at least one important detail had made it through. He grinned at her to show that he could do this. “You two have fun and don’t worry! Everything’s gonna be great!”
“Thanks again, Naruto,” Kakashi said as he began to usher his wife out the door with a hand to her back. He paused to ruffle the hair of two children standing in a sullen line by the door. “Behave yourselves for Naruto-niisan.”
The siblings both mumbled a glum, “Yes, dad.”
Sakura knelt down in front of them, nearly causing Kakashi to trip right over her back. She hugged each child in turn, took the time to smooth out the damage their father had done to their hair, and tried to keep a happy face despite the fact there were tears in her eyes. “Have fun, darlings,” she said, her voice wavering a little. “And do what Naruto says. Mom and dad love you very much, okay? We’ll be back before you know it.”
“Sakura, we really have to go,” Kakashi admonished.
She whipped her head up and fixed him with such a ferocious scowl it immediate made his brow break out in a sweat. “I’m saying goodbye to our children. Do you mind?” she growled. “And you’re hardly one to talk about being on time!”
Both Naruto and Kakashi took two giant steps back. It was never a wise thing to get in the way of a mother’s love, after all. Especially if that mother used pinpoint accurate chakra control to punch holes through concrete several feet thick.
After getting a good, long look at her two children, Sakura sighed reluctantly and stood up. She sniffled and blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling. “They can have snacks on the couch when watching television,” she said, the words cracking a little as they came out. “No sugar after six o’clock though. Be sure they brush their teeth. And make sure Harou is wearing clean underwear.”
Naruto’s eyes nearly bugged from his head. Just how was he supposed to check for that? An idea of him examining some kid’s boxer shorts came to mind and was quickly squelshed. So not happening!
“Mom,” their son complained, shooting her a sour glare for having embarrassed him in front of others.
“Well, Harou-kun, sometimes you just grab the first thing lying on your floor and-”
“Okay, time to go,” Kakashi intervened, quickly shoving her out the door. “Naruto, help yourself to whatever’s in the house. We’ll see you in a few days.”
“Bye, darlings!” Sakura called, twisting against the hold Kakashi had on her upper arm to wave at her children. “Please be good! Try not to get into trouble! Make sure you help Naruto-niisan with the chores! Isa, no practicing fire jutsus in the house!”
“Bye, see ya Sunday! I’ve got this all under control!” Naruto called after them. He stood in the open doorway and waved enthusiastically to the departing duo, grinning from one ear to the other. He waited until they disappeared around a corner before turning around and shutting the door.
Waiting for him were two kids, one six and the other four. The older one, Harou, had his lip turned out in an impressively grumpy pout. His younger sister Isa’s lip was quivering and her wide grey eyes were watery. She’d either just bit her tongue or was gearing up for some majorly impressive water works.
Naruto gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. This was gonna be easy. Yeah. Easiest thing ever.
He hoped.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Kakashi very nearly rolled his eyes when he caught Sakura glancing back over her shoulder for the twelfth time. “Relax, Sakura,” he insisted, settling an arm around her shoulders in a display of support. In reality, he did it on the off chance that she might decide to bolt back home to their kids.
Sakura let out a heavy breath and stared glumly down at her feet. “I know it’s silly to be concerned … but this is the first time we’ve both been away from them for more than a day,” she explained. “What if something happens? What if Naruto can’t handle it? I mean, has he ever babysat before?” Her eyes rounded fearfully. “Did we check the smoke alarm batteries? Maybe I should….”
“No,” he said firmly, his hand clamping a little more securely on her shoulder. “The batteries were replaced not even a week ago. Naruto will be just fine, Sakura. The kids will be, too.”
“But couldn’t we have taken them-”
“Sakura, when was the last time it was just you, me, and a bed for an entire night?”
She frowned, her brow knitting as she tried to recall that rare occurrence.
“Exactly,” he concluded triumphantly. “If it’s not Isa being frightened of samurai hiding in her closet, it’s Harou getting up to use the bathroom six times in one night.”
“Or Pakkun sneaking in to sleep at the foot of the bed,” she added, her voice taking on a defensive edge for her children.
“Or that,” Kakashi conceded, not wanting to trigger her protective mother instincts. “My point is, we don’t get any time together. You and I. And I miss that. Sakura, we need this vacation.”
Sakura stared petulantly at the ground as they continued walking, her arms folding across her chest. “I don’t know… I feel guilty leaving Harou and Isa behind.”
Kakashi gave her a quick hug and kissed the top of her head. “Trust me, they most definitely do not want to be around for what I’ve got planned.”
She made a scoffing sound and rolled her eyes at him. “Yes, yes. I’m sure you’re going to sex my brains out. You don’t need to be all smug about it though.”
“Sex your brains out?” It was now his turn snort disdainfully. “Sakura, I’m not going to just sex your brains out. I’m going to forty-three you on that mattress until you can’t walk straight.”
Sakura’s frown deepened, though it was more out of confusion than gloom. “Forty-three?”
In answer, Kakashi reached behind him for Icha Icha Tactics and opened it to page forty-three. She took it from him, her eyes scanning over the words curiously.
Her eyes widened.
Her jaw dropped.
She uttered a soft, “Oh, my….”
And the next thing Kakashi knew, he was being dragged at a sprint down the road. Apparently, Sakura really liked the idea of him forty-threeing her repeatedly.
*~*~*~*~*~*
This was a disaster. A nightmare - no, hell. Yeah, this was definitely hell.
As soon as the door closed after Kakashi and Sakura, things started falling apart. Harou had immediately stomped off to his room and slammed the door to the bedroom he shared with Isa. Unfortunately, the boy either hadn’t realized or hadn’t cared that his baby sister was right behind him. Isa ended up catching the door with her face and she hadn’t stopped crying since - and by crying, he meant full on bawling her eyes out with the occasional reprieve where all she did was sniffle and whimper a little.
That’d been almost six hours ago. He would’ve thought she’d run out of tears by now. Seriously, she was a kid. She was a tiny kid. It didn’t seem natural that someone so small could hold that much water.
He’d tried to comfort her as best he could: told her jokes (which only made her cry harder), promised her that mommy and daddy would be back soon (he got kicked in the shin for that one), and bribed her with ice cream after dinner if she stopped crying (it worked until she discovered there wasn’t any ice cream in the house). She’d continued to drip snot and tears into the snack he’d given her, kept wiping her nose on her sleeve when they were watching TV - and when her sleeve became too wet, she switched to the couch arm. Naruto cringed and made a mental note not to sit on that side of the couch ever.
His attempts at drawing Harou out of the bedroom were even less successful. It’d started with responses of “no”, which then progressed into “go away”, which later on became nothing but silence. At first, Naruto had thought maybe the boy had snuck out the window or something, but every time he poked his head in it was to find Harou sitting on the floor with his back to the door and his arms folded. He’d even double checked by using a genjutsu release and triple checked by actually walking into the room to see Harou glaring at the far wall.
Hey, he wasn’t trying to be suspicious or anything … but the kid’s dad was notorious for slipping away and leaving a clone behind. Or not even bothering with a clone and just propping a scarecrow in place. Naruto wasn’t taking any chances with the offspring of a Hatake.
All in all, his first run of babysitting was gonna be his last - more than likely because Sakura was gonna kill him when she got back. He could only hope that maybe Kakashi would see that he’d really tried his best and was able to either cool his wife’s temper or distract her long enough for him to get the hell out of there. Maybe move to Suna where Gaara could protect him from an enraged medic nin wanting to punch his head off his shoulders for upsetting her children.
Now he knew what people meant by being at the end of their rope. He’d tried everything he could think of to cheer the kids up, but none of it was working. It was almost as if they didn’t want to be cheered up. Naruto didn’t like thinking that he couldn’t do this … but maybe he couldn’t. Who would’ve thought Konoha’s number one shinobi would be brought down by babysitting?
Sighing heavily, Naruto scruffed his hands roughly through his hair and stood up off the couch. Isa’s eyes immediately darted to him from the corner she’d curled up in, one tiny hand curled tightly in a soggy blanket. She pulled her thumb from her mouth with a wet pop, sniffled hard, and whimpered, “W-Where’re you goin’?”
“Just to the kitchen,” he replied, flashing her a cheerful smile. “Gonna see about making some dinner. You hungry?”
The girl nodded tentatively before scooting herself off the couch to follow him. Tears were still dripping from her eyes, her nose and chin were red from wiping, and every other breath or so was punctuated with a hiccup. She dragged the blanket after her, despite the fact that it was easily almost four times longer than she was tall. But at least she was interacting with him now - and not in a tearful way.
Happy that his luck was shifting for the better, Naruto rubbed his hands together and opened the fridge. “Okay, let’s see what we’ve got in here! Looks like there’s some chicken we could cook up.”
“Don’t like chick’n,” Isa replied near his hip as she too peered into the refrigerator.
“Okay… how about some leftover soup?”
“Don’t like sthoup.”
“Hey, there’s some really yummy looking vegetables in the drawer!”
“Don’t like vejibles.”
Naruto let out disappointed breath, his shoulders slumping out of frustration. “Is there anything you do like, Isa-chan?”
At that, Isa’s lip quibbled pitifully. Her big grey eyes watered up and her entire face crumpled into fresh sobs. “Mommy!” she wailed. “I like mommy!”
Damn it, not again! He’d thought she was done with all the tears! Naruto slapped a hand over his face and groaned. This was crazy. One kid refused to leave his room, the other wouldn’t stop crying. What the hell had he gotten himself into?
“Listen, Isa-chan,” Naruto explained, squatting down so they were on the same level. “Mommy and daddy will be back soon, okay? In the meantime, I’m gonna take care of you. We’re gonna have lots of fun and play games and watch TV. Doesn’t that sound great?”
“I want mommy!” she sobbed, letting her blanket drop to the floor. She lifted her arms up to him imploringly, her entire face a couple shades of pink darker than her hair. “I misth daddy and mommy!”
Naruto eyed her wet cheeks and dripping nose distastefully. A grimace crossed his face as he opened his arms and let Isa hug him, her cries muffled into his shoulder. Her ragged breaths were hot and moist, telling him that in addition to snot and tears he was now covered in drool. But if this was what she wanted… He hugged her to him, one hand rubbing her back like he’d seen other parents do for crying kids as he lifted her up into his arms.
“It’s okay,” he soothed her. “It’s gonna be okay. How ‘bout we come back to dinner later and just hang out, huh? Maybe we could … uh … um….” Maybe they could what? Jokes didn’t work, she wasn’t interested in games, and he didn’t think the poor couch could stand much more abuse. So what was left for him to do with a crying child?
He searched through the living room for something he could distract her with. Toys were strewn across the hardwood floor, there were a few wooden practice weapons mingled in… His eyes fell on the bookcase and suddenly an idea came to mind.
Prying her away from him just enough to meet her sloppy face, Naruto asked excitedly, “Hey, want me to tell you a story?”
“Don’t like stowies,” she sniffled, rubbing her eyes with tiny fists.
“Not even stories about mommy and daddy?”
Her fists dropped away and the sobs stopped. She was still sniffling like crazy and the hiccups had gotten worse … but for the first time since her parents had left, there wasn’t a single tear. “’Mommy and daddy?” she repeated.
Naruto nodded, shifting her to one hip as he carried her back into the living room. “Yep, that’s right! See, I’ve known your mom and dad for a very long time, so I know all kinds of stories about them. Like there was this one time where your dad was hiding from your mom underground and she ripped the ground up right over his head. You should’ve seen his face, he was all like-“ He bugged his eyes out and dropped his mouth open as far as it could go in pantomime of Kakashi’s reaction.
To his utter relief, Isa giggled around the section of her shirt she was chewing on.
“And then there’s this one time where your dad fought off a seriously bad ass - OW!” Naruto rubbed a hand across the cheek the little girl had just slapped. That hurt! “What the heck was that for?!”
Isa scowled and reprimanded, “Dat’s a no-no word!”
Great, now he was getting scolded by a four-year-old. If that ever got out, Kiba would never let him hear the end of it! He’d have to be careful about language use around her. “Er… sorry about that, Isa-chan. I promise I won’t say it again,” he apologized as he sat them both down on the couch.
Satisfied that there wouldn’t be any more no-no words, the little girl snuggled up next to him and said, “I wanna hear a stowy ‘bout mommy and daddy.”
“Sure thing, kiddo! Let’s see… it’s gotta be a really good one….” Every story he could think of involved missions. He didn’t think Kakashi and Sakura would appreciate him telling their little girl about all the many people they’d either seriously maimed or killed over the years. Crap, this was gonna be harder than he thought!
Finally, he remembered one that, with just a little editing, wouldn’t be too scarring for a four-year-old girl. Clearing his throat, Naruto began as all good stories should, “Once upon a time, there were two very cool ninja named Kakashi and Sakura….”