I have a dream to travel the world. I have a hope that we will build a future together. I have a nightmare that these things don't go together. I could drown my fears in alcohol and denial, that's what any sensible person would do. I think it's time to let my vices rest, let my good intentions have a little breathing room.

I want to explain why I don't want children; the world is probably only going to get worse, and why perpetuate my genes when I know they will be innately screwed. Kindness is not something you can ever garantee as an extraction from the people that inhabit this speck of a planet. I really love kids. I think they are wonderful, sweet, little monkeys ( Read more... )

I've been evaluating my relationship with Gabe lately ( Read more... )

this is my last quarter at north seattle community college... i'm trying to get into UW and i have a letter of recommendation from a tenured professor there. i'm so scared. i don't know where this life of mine is headed.

i hate the end of the fucking quarter. i love summer. i need a new job. went to ocean shores last weekend and flew kites on the beach with gabe, kim, and martin. there were horses you could ride and the ocean was a nice blue gray color. my favorite part was probably the game of hearts with whiskey we played. i think his mom really likes me, which ( Read more... )

my friend michelle has a crazy rash all over her entire body from an allergic reaction to the medicine they gave her for her staff infection. i am once again grateful that i am immune so far to any allergens. i have so much work to do before the end of this quarter and i'm starting to mildly freak the fuck out.

there's a part of me that wants to leave just so i can prove to myself that i don't need him. i know i do though.

note to self: go to erotic bakery tomorrow to buy melissa a birthday cake. find a cute gift for her.
also, make sure court is taken care of for monday.
get all home work done before the weekend if possible. :)
go on date with gabe.
vanquish all evil from world or join it.

yesterday i went in one of the bathroom stalls at north and saw a message on the wall: help me ( Read more... )

i wonder what's it like to look in the mirror and think of yourself as over weight. i really do sometimes, because i know what it's like to feel ugly. i feel awkward all the time and i don't have a clue how other people see me. most of the time i don't think i would want to know. i always feel like such a dork.