I met Tony six years ago when we took a literary theory class together at Columbia. We only vaguely knew each other then, but it was a pleasant surprise to run into him at an event several months ago. Cute, more than a bit nerdy, he's got one hell of a nervous, gaspy stutter that treads a thin line between off-putting and endearing. He invited me ( Read more... )

Just finished drafting chapter 3 of my novel manuscript and sent it off to my advisor. I feel like I've hit a good momentum with writing, though the continuation of this project will require much more rigorous historical research on my part. Come May, I'll be going upstate for three solid weeks as part of a residency program. I can't wait to detach ( Read more... )

I'd like to call it the Year of the Sheep. Among the options, it's the best sounding one: docile, tender, giving. I went grocery shopping in Chinatown with Wenting today. We bought napa cabbage, chives, scallions, papaya, Sichuan chili bean sauce, a hefty portion of meat, dried snacks, oranges, and other assorted goods in preparation for our party ( Read more... )

In the week after you return from Shanghai, you spend nearly every night with him. At first it is a happy reunion, picking up where you left off. You head upstate that weekend to a massive converted barn, where you and his friends cook, lounge, listen to records. Drink bourbon, do bumps of cocaine. Take MDMA and stay up until six in the morning. ( Read more... )

Almost a full year later, I meet up with Johnny on a brutally cold Thursday evening. We go see the new Xavier Dolan film at Landmark Sunshine. It's long and vexing and beautiful. There are more than a few moments when the teenaged protagonist, an emotional tyrant of a blonde boy, loses his cool completely and explodes with rage, a flood of ( Read more... )

"You're really on a tear," my therapist says. I just spent the past session unloading lots of ideas and realizations that I've been accumulating for weeks or more but never got around to articulating. "It's really impressive."

But that doesn't help when one gets drunk and maudlin and lonely walking home in the snow at 3 am!

I'm slouched with a whiskey waiting for C. The bartender is both imperious and slow-moving, terrible at his job. The same antsy fellow has been standing near me, trying to get his attention for five minutes or more. He mumbles something. "Sorry, what was that?" I ask ( Read more... )

New York is splendor. But, as they say, too much of a good thing can be _________. On Thursday, I got unexpectedly drunk with Marc, Jimmy, and J. We were scarfing down ramen in the Lower East Side, then at a bar, and then another, and another. People were kissing or kissed. We managed to make it home after 2 am ( Read more... )

To be more aware. To be more evolved.

He was just a small, selfish person, I'll say.

He was just a small, selfish person.