Vial 004
The fact Riff is here with me is at least one thing I have that makes being in this city somewhat more bearable. While the definition of this being hell is still uncertain in some ways, it does seem like such a place. My methods have never been the best but when there is a goal in mind, I do pursue it clearly, however leaving here will only result in ending up somewhere more unpleasant. As much as I may deserve that place, even this is preferable as long as he is here.
And yet trusting him completely is not something I am willing to do yet. There is always the chance things can change like they did before. Even without Father and Delilah here, what would stop his true personality from returning again. He doesn't seem to have had any signs of the problems he had before it happened at home but I can't watch him all the time.
Father's final words were not at all what I expected. After everything he did ..and his last thought was that he named me well. Was it his wish that I kill him, then? It makes no sense why both he and Disraeli would have changed towards me at the end. I accepted it at the time because I could do nothing else but still. Was everything he said and did a lie to lead me to that end? To make me live up to my name in truth, perhaps. I will likely never know the answers now.
And yet trusting him completely is not something I am willing to do yet. There is always the chance things can change like they did before. Even without Father and Delilah here, what would stop his true personality from returning again. He doesn't seem to have had any signs of the problems he had before it happened at home but I can't watch him all the time.
Father's final words were not at all what I expected. After everything he did ..and his last thought was that he named me well. Was it his wish that I kill him, then? It makes no sense why both he and Disraeli would have changed towards me at the end. I accepted it at the time because I could do nothing else but still. Was everything he said and did a lie to lead me to that end? To make me live up to my name in truth, perhaps. I will likely never know the answers now.