Diagnosing Asperger's?

[sioneva]

I know a couple of you on the list either have AS or are close to people who do...I have a friend who feels that she may be on the spectrum but has had some difficulty actually getting people to take her seriously

Comments

[lietya]

Bullshit. Pure, unadulterated, Grade-A bullshit, with a side of oh fuck no

[odiedragon]

Nothing wrong with getting a second opinion

[lietya]

"You learn how to keep your head above water, even if everyone else is swimming laps around you."

What a gorgeous way of putting it.

As an aside, your daughter shares my name, which amuses me greatly. :)

(I graduated high school in 1995, and my diagnosis is even newer than Asperger's, and I agree wholeheartedly on both counts.)

[odiedragon]

Cool :) I didn't name her though, she's my husband's daughter not mine. Speaking of genetics, I find it odd that I ended up marrying into a family that has a very-likely asperger's sister, a diagnosed daughter, and father that's made comments that he questions his own NT-or-not status. It's not so much that there's a lack of desiring social relationships, it's the lack of desire to be social with those that we have to be "on stage" with!

Another huge issue is trust... when you've been burned So Many Times, you don't open up to anyone until you trust them. And that can take time, and a huge amount of emotional effort. When the person is more on your wavelength, however, you open up like a book.

[lietya]

That is interesting; you're right that in some cases autistic-spectrum disorders may be genetic, so it's not entirely surprising. That's an excellent point about both desiring only relationships with those people who "qualify," too. Similarly, I'm married and I love my husband very much, but partly because he understood it was a compliment when I told him early on that "being with you is like being alone, only better"!

"when you've been burned So Many Times, you don't open up to anyone until you trust them. And that can take time, and a huge amount of emotional effort. When the person is more on your wavelength, however, you open up like a book."

Very true. I suspect people who find relating to be easy and natural don't quite understand just HOW difficult it can be to keep trying, especially when other people have done their best to shut you down.

My [birth] family has four people : a bipolar child, a depressive father, a mother who's almost certainly borderline, and me...

[pondhopper]

I don't know much about AS. But I do have a friend with a grandson who is 17 years old and has just gotten a firm diagnosis of AS. The poor kid had made the made the rounds of all the doctors imaginable all his life, been on meds that very nearly wiped him out until his parents finally found a psychiatrist who saw the light so to speak. He's feeling much MUCH better about himself these days. All I mean to say is that a diagnosis is still a torture to get sometimes and your friend shouldn't give up until somebody figures it out. What the so-called expert said is pure BS.

[odiedragon]

It's a knowledge that if there were ever anywhere I might fit in, it would be in fandom . . . but I don't. Because, ultimately, there's something wrong about me.

I just read this again... this is SO very true for me too. Even at the geek-fests, I feel left out somehow (and I've been to enough to make a judgement for myself)

It also goes a long way to explain why furries are the dorks who are shit on by all the other dorks. I mean, what is furrydom other than believing that you were born with the wrong internal wiring? The sex is what gets the press and the gossip, but in reality, most furries aren't into sex with costumed characters. It's something more deeply psychological than a fetish.

[neurotic_orchid]

How are her skills in math and reading? It sounds a lot like Nonverbal Learning Disability to me, which is on the milder end of the Autistic spectrum. I've diagnosed it before, so I know a bit about it. If she went for LD testing, something might come up, but the research is so new in this area that many psychologists won't even go there.

[neurotic_orchid]

They're outstanding, thanks. Top 5% of the high school math contests, and a voracious reader of above-average speed with great retention. I was formally identified as 'gifted' in fifth grade.

Is that pro or con Nonverbal Learning Disability?

[neurotic_orchid]

Great word reading is associated with NLD, but math is a strong nonverbal skill, so, no, I don't think you'd receive a diagnosis for that. Aspergers makes more sense. But obviously I have no idea since I've never met you or worked with you in any way. I hope you're able to find out what's making socializing difficult for you and can get some guidance there.