So I posted some (four) ads on craigslist.  Two in New York, one in San Francisco, and one in Madison, Wisconsin.  Here's what I don't get:

People are always posting pictures of themselves naked.  With faces.  And they're always, seemingly, meeting up for casual sex.  They're often paying top dollar for bedbug-ridden couches.  God knows how many ( Read more... )

Foreign Baby looks like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.

(Google Image search "home alone" = porn.  Google Image search "home alone hair" = much grosser porn.)


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I just met a grocery store rat.  I was shopping at what is, as far as I can tell, the largest, cleanest, non-rattiest grocery store in the neighborhood, and picking out some apples, when I looked to my right and saw this big scuzzy slab of rodent hauling ass across the tiled flooring.  Actually that is a lie, because he looked sort of well-groomed ( Read more... )

I'm just going to put an end to this whole charade and say that there are a lot of roaches where I live.  I can't rant about these roaches without first admitting I coexist with them, so there you go.  Roaches roaches roaches.  At least I don't have rats.  At least these things sometimes run away when I turn on the light.  At least when I step on ( Read more... )

Yesterday I tried to walk through the subway turnstile like I always do, and for some reason, it locked up and I ran lip first into the metal pole.  I wasn't under the impression I was always running headlong into things, but I guess I was wrong.  After bashing my face and feeling my front teeth, which I'm pretty sure were pushed back at least a ( Read more... )

There was a lot of sun outside today.  It was hot and bright.  As the sun tends to be.  Here's something else I know about the sun.  You shouldn't let it get directly in the eyes of a baby.  You shouldn't push a visorless stroller full of a baby who is crying and screaming and curling up into a little ball on his left side because his retinas are ( Read more... )

Remember back in the old days, when report cards were written with the ink of a ballpoint pen and were really personalized?  I haven't seen a newfangled report card, but I assume now you can like, touch report cards with a tiny stylus and the paper will play little musical snippets as an indicator of how well a child is performing in various school ( Read more... )

Good News:

Foreign Baby has a little brother or sister on the way?


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For some reason, my brain keeps reminding me, a few times a day, that I'm turning 25 in two months.  It's good though, it never hurts to keep the old gag reflex healthy, you know?  I'll just add it to the rapidly accumulating list of things to which I can only react with waves of nausea.

Most hated supporting character on television, ever?

a) Wayne - The Wonder Years


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