random thoughts about myself
I'm rounding out. I 've been noticing that my stomach has gotten a little, scratch that, a LOT squeezier since I've moved. I swear, when I sit down, my stomach is twice the size of what it used to be. I HATE IT. What's the easiest way to lose weight, or at least to slim down. I NEED to stop buying junk food and stick the the necessities. NO MORE ICE CREAM. NO MORE POUND CAKE. NO MORE PIZZA. NO MORE POP TARTS (two pop tars are 400 calories. SHIT! ). NO MORE SODA. NO MORE CANDY BARS. NORE MORE CRUNCH AND MUNCH. NO MORE SHIT THAT I DON'T NEED FOR ENERGY. I just need to stick to the basics...meat, vegetables, and some staple like rice or pasta or bread. FUCK!!! I wonder how many pounds I've gained since I've moved. It's got to be around 10. I'm saddened. I want to start squaring out instead of rounding out. I want a FLAT stomach, purtruding pelvic bone and collar bone, and slimmer upper arms and thighs. God. My thighs touch now. It's sickening. I want that gap between my upper thighs!!! Argh, I miss my body from when I was 18...but oh well. I just have to eat less and exercise more...
Being alone sucks. I miss the feeling of a guy next to me all snuggly and stuff. You think I would be used to it by now but NOPE...the feeling of loneliness sucks majorly. I hate seeing couples everywhere. I live with one, my good friends up here all are one, it sucks. I can't get away. But when is a good time to start dating again? I feel like a new relationship is the best way to get over the old...but I'm not sure that I'm entriely ready to get into anything right now. I just want to have fun! I need to tap back into my sexuality and POWER. When I went home to visit, one of the "constructive criticism" that my mom gave me was "You need to act and be more of a woman." Which means, start dressing like a woman, start acting like a woman, start looking like a woman, and basically BE the woman that I am. I'm going to take her advice and try to be more girlie. I usually dress all girlie for clubs, bars, and parties, but I guess I can start dressing more nicely for school. No more sweats in the morning and definiteley no more slouching.
In trying to be more feminine, I've been baking a little bit more. Last night I went over the Angela's and we decided to make a parfait. It wasn't necessarily baking, we just threw together things that were already made and made it taste better. We took pound cake, sliced it, add vanilla pudding, and topped it off with honey covered strawberries. It was SO good. You guys should try it. It totally satisfied my craving for yummy food. Next, I think I'm going to try and make chocolate cake from scratch, no boxed cake! I heard it wasn't that hard but we'll see. Oohh..if any of you guys have any recipes for good, yummy food, let me know. I want to start making my dinners instead of buying frozen lasagnas and pastas. Ideas are definitely welcomed.
I want to start expanding my mind. I don't want it to become mush during this summer so I've been making myself read books for fun. So far I've read "The Lovely Bones" and I'm just about to start either "The Notebook" or "The DaVinci Code." I think I want to read "The Notebook" first because the movie was really sweet and romantic, but I will definitely read "The DaVinci Code" by the end of the summer. Other books on my list are "The Devil Wears Prada," "Five People You Meet in Heaven," "The Awakening," "Bell Jar," and "Plato's Republic." "Republic" might be too philosophical for me so I'll have to ease myself into it.
I just learned how to splic my entries...it's very cool. So if anyone knows any other tricks I can do on lj, please spread the knowledge. It will be greatly appreciated. That's all for now. Thanks for tuning in to another random moments from yours truly.
s2.
Being alone sucks. I miss the feeling of a guy next to me all snuggly and stuff. You think I would be used to it by now but NOPE...the feeling of loneliness sucks majorly. I hate seeing couples everywhere. I live with one, my good friends up here all are one, it sucks. I can't get away. But when is a good time to start dating again? I feel like a new relationship is the best way to get over the old...but I'm not sure that I'm entriely ready to get into anything right now. I just want to have fun! I need to tap back into my sexuality and POWER. When I went home to visit, one of the "constructive criticism" that my mom gave me was "You need to act and be more of a woman." Which means, start dressing like a woman, start acting like a woman, start looking like a woman, and basically BE the woman that I am. I'm going to take her advice and try to be more girlie. I usually dress all girlie for clubs, bars, and parties, but I guess I can start dressing more nicely for school. No more sweats in the morning and definiteley no more slouching.
In trying to be more feminine, I've been baking a little bit more. Last night I went over the Angela's and we decided to make a parfait. It wasn't necessarily baking, we just threw together things that were already made and made it taste better. We took pound cake, sliced it, add vanilla pudding, and topped it off with honey covered strawberries. It was SO good. You guys should try it. It totally satisfied my craving for yummy food. Next, I think I'm going to try and make chocolate cake from scratch, no boxed cake! I heard it wasn't that hard but we'll see. Oohh..if any of you guys have any recipes for good, yummy food, let me know. I want to start making my dinners instead of buying frozen lasagnas and pastas. Ideas are definitely welcomed.
I want to start expanding my mind. I don't want it to become mush during this summer so I've been making myself read books for fun. So far I've read "The Lovely Bones" and I'm just about to start either "The Notebook" or "The DaVinci Code." I think I want to read "The Notebook" first because the movie was really sweet and romantic, but I will definitely read "The DaVinci Code" by the end of the summer. Other books on my list are "The Devil Wears Prada," "Five People You Meet in Heaven," "The Awakening," "Bell Jar," and "Plato's Republic." "Republic" might be too philosophical for me so I'll have to ease myself into it.
I just learned how to splic my entries...it's very cool. So if anyone knows any other tricks I can do on lj, please spread the knowledge. It will be greatly appreciated. That's all for now. Thanks for tuning in to another random moments from yours truly.
s2.