Twilight Fic: Without Words Alice/Jasper
Title: Without Words
Author: SirenPrincess
Rating: Teen
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff
Pairing: Alice/Jasper
Spoilers: Eclipse
Word Count: 3,000
Prompt: Joy
Summary: This is a stream of consciousness story showing Jasper’s thoughts while he’s trapped in class during his first week of school. Jasper and Alice learn to communicate while apart.
Disclaimer: This work is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, various publishers and film makers including but not limited to Little, Brown Books and Summit Entertainment. No money is being made, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author’s Notes: I wrote this almost a year ago and finally decided to go ahead and share it. This is book based. No movie discussion in the comments please.
~~~~~~~~Jasper~~~~~~~~
I sat, not breathing, in my second period algebra class. Surviving the day without killing anyone would mean that I had made it through my first week of high school. Alice would be so proud, and I could have the weekend alone with her. I reminded myself of these things over and over again as the teacher lectured and I continued not to breathe. I couldn’t let Alice down. I couldn’t disappoint Alice. I wouldn’t ruin everything for the whole family. Again. I wouldn’t make Alice ashamed of me. Wouldn’t.
The presence of so many teenagers was completely intolerable. The steady beats of their hearts, the noticeable pulsing of their arteries, even just the warmth of their bodies was enough to drive me insane with craving. And then, of course, there was the scent, that scent that drove me mad with desire and scorched my throat with thirst. At least not breathing solved that problem. Edward had scolded me over it, saying the humans were noticing my inhuman stillness, but I wasn’t strong enough to modify my behavior yet. Maybe eventually I’d get to the point where I could take occasional breaths here. I’d been able to the last few years in college, but teenagers presented me with a major problem that college students did not-raging, hormonal emotions.
I tried to block them out, but I’d never been able to block out any unpleasant emotions-not when I was starving and desperately trying not to feel the emotions of my kill so that I could feed, not when Maria forced me to torture for her and I felt every agony my victims did, not when Maria was angry with me and every moment of it felt like I was taking a constant beating, not ever. The only thing that helped at all was focusing specifically on one person’s emotions, Alice’s. If only she could be in class with me, I would be so much stronger. But she had to be younger; everyone agreed she had to be younger.
Somehow, someway I was going to make it through this day, though-for her, for my Alice. She said that envisioning myself succeeding would help, so I was trying that. I closed my eyes, ignoring the classroom around me, and pictured her smile at the end of the day. That was it, just her smile. Knowing that I pleased her was the only reward I wanted.
Suddenly, the teacher’s words brought me out of my reverie. Every student was assigned a problem from the book and would have to write the answer on the board while explaining the solution in front of the whole class. I was instantly flooded with anxiety, and it had nothing to do with my ability to solve the problem.
Explaining the solution meant talking, and talking required air. I would have to breathe. I did not trust my willpower. No matter how determined I was not to kill, the moment the overwhelming scent of these humans, concentrated in a confined space, hit my nostrils, I would become the animal again and slip. I would fail my Alice. I could not bear the thought! Perhaps my resolve was strong enough, but the instant my throat was scorched with that searing pain . . . would I lose everything?
Even if I could control myself, there were other concerns. My strong Southern accent was a problem. We were pretending to have transferred in from New Hampshire. I was supposedly Rosalie’s twin, and my accent needed to match hers. Speaking with my Texas drawl would quickly expose our lies. Carlisle had been working with me to help me lose it, but I’d made little progress. It was hard to suddenly change the way I’d been speaking for well over a century. At home I was free to talk like myself, but in public my speech needed to be nondescript. I spoke so infrequently in front of humans; the issue hadn’t really arisen yet. I could manage my name and a whispered “yes, sir” or “yes, ma’am” without giving anything away. Otherwise I was content to let Alice or any of my ‘siblings’ speak for me. I was naturally quiet, even at home, and there was nothing I ever wished to say in front of humans.
Then there was the problem that I was trying not to acknowledge, not even to myself. It seemed so unimportant compared to the bigger issues that affected everyone, but deep down I knew that this was what was really causing a knot to tighten in my chest. I was absolutely terrified of being the center of attention. Just thinking about having to stand up in front of everyone had me on the edge of a panic attack. All of their eyes would be staring at me, waiting for me to mess up so that they could laugh and ridicule me. I knew all of the students hated me; Edward had said as much, and I could feel it. They wanted to see me embarrassed. This was nothing new; the newborns had always felt the same way. They delighted in seeing me publicly shamed. The similarity was drawing me closer and closer to a flashback. Maria had discovered my fear of public humiliation early on, and she used it to punish me every opportunity she got. She’d call me up in front of the others . . . had to just stand there at attention and take it . . .
“Strip your shirt off,” Maria’s cool, commanding voice demanded. I felt the thrill her sadistic mind got from hurting me. “Time for your punishment.”
A snickering laugh from the girl sitting next to me jerked me out of the painful memory with a start. It was only after I noticed where she was looking that I realized I was gripping the desk so tightly I’d dug my fingernails halfway through the wood. My entire body was stiff with tension, and she found it amusing. I forced my hands to release the desk before I snapped it in two, only to begin trembling violently as the panic, fear, and shame finally overtook me.
I wanted to bolt from the classroom and run far, far away to the safety of the woods. I could not handle this! It was too much. But I was trapped. Unlike college, I could not decide I’d reached my limit and take a break. In high school, I had to be a subservient child with no free will. Fleeing the classroom would earn me punishment. Not that the humans could really do anything to me, but if I caused trouble, it would draw attention to the Cullens, to Alice. I had to stay and endure this torture. Here, I had no say in what happened to me. I hadn’t felt so powerless since I left Maria. Had to obey, follow orders, and endure the humiliation. No say, no say . . .
My lungs were struggling desperately to start hyperventilating, but I had to stop them from taking a single breath for fear of what I’d do. I prayed that no one else would notice how my body was convulsing. God, I needed Alice. Her emotions helped keep the flashbacks at bay. Feeling her love gave me strength and courage. If only I wasn’t all alone, if only I could feel her. If only . . .
I contemplated for a moment if I COULD feel her. She was across the hall in her English class. I’d seen her walk into the room, and the tug on my heart confirmed that she was still there. She was certainly within my range as far as distance was concerned, but she was amidst the emotions of a sea of students. Could I find her, focus on her, when so many others were threatening to overwhelm me?
From my heart, I could feel a weak thread of love linked to me, holding me stable despite the hatred, anger, and frustration swirling around me. I tried my hardest to focus on that flimsy thread, as if Alice were sitting right there next to me. As I followed the feeling it felt stronger and stronger until I was flooded with love. I was sure I’d found Alice. No one else’s emotions felt like that-warm, loving, hopeful. It made me feel safe. My shoulders slumped with relief as I lost myself, and everyone else’s emotions, in her.
I felt instantly braver, stronger; she was even keeping the memories of Maria away. I wished I could show her how grateful I was for her love, for her presence in my life. Intuitively, I sent her a wave of my own love, letting her feel exactly what she meant to me. I love you, Alice. You’re everything to me.
I felt the quick flash of surprise in her emotions as she realized I was affecting her. Immediately after that subsided, an explosion of love overwhelmed me. I could almost hear her professing her love for me. The emotions said it louder than words ever could. I’m here for you, supporting you, whatever you need. I love you more than anything; so much my heart can not contain it all.
I nearly gasped at the intensity of her love. It gave me confidence and made me feel so much better, but I still wanted more. I needed to TALK to her. I wanted to tell her what was happening in the classroom, warn her how close I was to slipping, ask for her support through the humiliation. I pondered that for a moment. I COULD tell her what I was feeling, not with words, but with my power. The problem was I didn’t want to make Alice feel like me. She shouldn’t feel terrified. But maybe if I just let her feel the briefest taste, maybe just maybe I could let her know what I was feeling without actually causing her to feel those things herself.
Cautiously, I opened the connection and let her feel the tiniest hint of the fear that was debilitating me before I quickly pulled it all back inside. I hoped she got the message. Alice, I’m so scared. I can’t do this. I can’t do this! I’m going to slip.
My fear did not overtake her. Instead of the worry I expected to feel from her reaction, I was flooded with confidence. Alice’s confidence. In me. I knew I didn’t deserve it, not at all, but feeling her confidence bolstered my own. I told myself I could this, and it seemed almost plausible. It was almost as if she were sitting beside me, squeezing my hand, and reassuring me. You can do this, Jazz. I know you can. You’re stronger than you think, but I know you’ll make it through this and please me.
Sharing with her had helped a great deal, but there was so much more I wanted to say. She needed to know this wasn’t just a generalized fear of slipping. Something was happening, something awful, and it would hurt me and put us all in danger. I struggled with what to do. I needed to tell her so badly, but it was wrong to make Alice feel humiliated. I felt a gentle increase in her love and a soft brush of concern, and I decided to tell her. Just a little bit. Just so she’d know what was going on, how close I was to danger. I let her feel a brief moment of my humiliation first, that was important for her to understand. It was what was putting me so close to the flashbacks. There was so much more, but the rest was harder to identify. Trapped. I let her feel that; it explained a lot. Panic, just for the tiniest fraction of a second. The rest was . . . too hard to put words to. Frustrated, I just let her feel everything, exactly how I felt, for a few moments. It said more than words ever could, and I knew that Alice would understand everything.
Her response was strong and clear. Her confidence. Her unconditional love. I let the warmth of her emotions envelop me and make me feel safe. I knew what she was saying. You can do this. I know you can do this. But no matter, what, I love you. I will always be at your side.
It was enough to keep me calm and centered as the other students went before me. It was as if Alice were there holding me, and nothing else mattered. But then the teacher called my name. A wave of panic hit me so hard that even Alice’s emotions couldn’t hold it back. I shared it with her. I was too scared to think about doing this alone. It’s happening, Alice. The horrible thing is happening now. I can’t do this. I’m so scared.
Suddenly her emotions were battling back the panic. Both feelings warred within me, but her confidence was enough to allow me to stand up, albeit on shaky legs. I trembled as I walked to the front of the classroom. All of their eyes were on me. I nearly lost it as I heard a snicker behind me, but I’d left the connection with Alice open, and her strong emotional response quickly stabilized me. My hand shook terribly as I wrote the problem out on the board. It ruined my penmanship, making my handwriting nearly unrecognizable, but I vaguely registered that no one here cared. As I turned around, my lungs struggled to hyperventilate again, but I kept my throat tightly shut. I waited until I’d completely lost myself in Alice’s emotions again before I attempted speech. I knew everyone was glaring, but I kept my eyes purposefully fixed on the floor in front of me. I could feel their emotions lapping at me. They enjoyed seeing me suffer, just like the newborns did, just like Maria did. But I didn’t let myself think about it. All I thought about was Alice and the confidence she had in me. I would not disappoint her. Nervously, I inhaled my first breath. The scent was overpowering, and I had to clutch the teacher’s desk to stop myself from attacking the closest student. There was more laughter as I gripped the desk. The humiliation nearly incapacitated me. But I felt Alice still there with me, and she gave me the strength to do what I needed to do.
“The solution to the pro-problem …” Oh God, my accent sounded so strong! People were talking about me now, muttering horrible things under their breaths. Like a Northerner! Talk like a Yankee, I reminded myself. I began again. This time my accent was less pronounced, but I was so ashamed that it was still there at all. I couldn’t even talk right! I was giving us away, raising suspicion, and I deserved a punishment just for that.
I used that first breath for as long as I could, but eventually my voice went hoarse and I was forced to inhale again. Alice’s confidence swelled again just as the scent hit me. I staggered for a moment as I struggled for control. The mocking from audience continued, but Alice gave me the strength to resist my urges. Amazingly, I finished my explanation without killing anyone or crumbling to the floor with sobs of humiliation. Mr. Henderson even praised me for my good work. I was still trembling as I sat down, but somehow I made it back to my seat.
Relief swelled within me. I was more than happy to share these new emotions with Alice. Happiness. Relief. Gratitude. Alice, we did it! We did it!!! You were right there with me, and you took care of me and gave me the strength to succeed. Oh Alice, I didn’t fail you. Thank you! Thank you!
The emotions she gave me in return did not need an explanation. Pride. Alice was proud of me, and it was the most wonderful feeling I’d ever experienced. I could do this for her. Everything was always for my Alice.
I jumped slightly as the bell rang. But I smiled as soon as I realized what it meant. I had five minutes to see my Alice before we had to be at our next class. Five minutes. I rushed past everyone and was the first one out the door. Alice was already standing there waiting for me. She was smiling. She was smiling for me. Overwhelmed with emotion, I ran to her and lifted her up into my arms. We’d talked about not showing too much affection to each other in public, but I didn’t care. I needed to hold her for a moment. Her smile continued and her warm, pleased emotions comforted me as I held her. We didn’t say anything aloud. What was there to say with words that we hadn’t shared already? I hadn’t failed. Alice was happy with me. She was smiling because she was pleased with me. It was the greatest joy I’d ever known. Alice loved me. Alice was pleased with me. Alice had confidence in me. I could conquer any other problems the day presented, and soon I would have a whole weekend to be with my Alice. Everything was going to be okay.
Author: SirenPrincess
Rating: Teen
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff
Pairing: Alice/Jasper
Spoilers: Eclipse
Word Count: 3,000
Prompt: Joy
Summary: This is a stream of consciousness story showing Jasper’s thoughts while he’s trapped in class during his first week of school. Jasper and Alice learn to communicate while apart.
Disclaimer: This work is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, various publishers and film makers including but not limited to Little, Brown Books and Summit Entertainment. No money is being made, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author’s Notes: I wrote this almost a year ago and finally decided to go ahead and share it. This is book based. No movie discussion in the comments please.
~~~~~~~~Jasper~~~~~~~~
I sat, not breathing, in my second period algebra class. Surviving the day without killing anyone would mean that I had made it through my first week of high school. Alice would be so proud, and I could have the weekend alone with her. I reminded myself of these things over and over again as the teacher lectured and I continued not to breathe. I couldn’t let Alice down. I couldn’t disappoint Alice. I wouldn’t ruin everything for the whole family. Again. I wouldn’t make Alice ashamed of me. Wouldn’t.
The presence of so many teenagers was completely intolerable. The steady beats of their hearts, the noticeable pulsing of their arteries, even just the warmth of their bodies was enough to drive me insane with craving. And then, of course, there was the scent, that scent that drove me mad with desire and scorched my throat with thirst. At least not breathing solved that problem. Edward had scolded me over it, saying the humans were noticing my inhuman stillness, but I wasn’t strong enough to modify my behavior yet. Maybe eventually I’d get to the point where I could take occasional breaths here. I’d been able to the last few years in college, but teenagers presented me with a major problem that college students did not-raging, hormonal emotions.
I tried to block them out, but I’d never been able to block out any unpleasant emotions-not when I was starving and desperately trying not to feel the emotions of my kill so that I could feed, not when Maria forced me to torture for her and I felt every agony my victims did, not when Maria was angry with me and every moment of it felt like I was taking a constant beating, not ever. The only thing that helped at all was focusing specifically on one person’s emotions, Alice’s. If only she could be in class with me, I would be so much stronger. But she had to be younger; everyone agreed she had to be younger.
Somehow, someway I was going to make it through this day, though-for her, for my Alice. She said that envisioning myself succeeding would help, so I was trying that. I closed my eyes, ignoring the classroom around me, and pictured her smile at the end of the day. That was it, just her smile. Knowing that I pleased her was the only reward I wanted.
Suddenly, the teacher’s words brought me out of my reverie. Every student was assigned a problem from the book and would have to write the answer on the board while explaining the solution in front of the whole class. I was instantly flooded with anxiety, and it had nothing to do with my ability to solve the problem.
Explaining the solution meant talking, and talking required air. I would have to breathe. I did not trust my willpower. No matter how determined I was not to kill, the moment the overwhelming scent of these humans, concentrated in a confined space, hit my nostrils, I would become the animal again and slip. I would fail my Alice. I could not bear the thought! Perhaps my resolve was strong enough, but the instant my throat was scorched with that searing pain . . . would I lose everything?
Even if I could control myself, there were other concerns. My strong Southern accent was a problem. We were pretending to have transferred in from New Hampshire. I was supposedly Rosalie’s twin, and my accent needed to match hers. Speaking with my Texas drawl would quickly expose our lies. Carlisle had been working with me to help me lose it, but I’d made little progress. It was hard to suddenly change the way I’d been speaking for well over a century. At home I was free to talk like myself, but in public my speech needed to be nondescript. I spoke so infrequently in front of humans; the issue hadn’t really arisen yet. I could manage my name and a whispered “yes, sir” or “yes, ma’am” without giving anything away. Otherwise I was content to let Alice or any of my ‘siblings’ speak for me. I was naturally quiet, even at home, and there was nothing I ever wished to say in front of humans.
Then there was the problem that I was trying not to acknowledge, not even to myself. It seemed so unimportant compared to the bigger issues that affected everyone, but deep down I knew that this was what was really causing a knot to tighten in my chest. I was absolutely terrified of being the center of attention. Just thinking about having to stand up in front of everyone had me on the edge of a panic attack. All of their eyes would be staring at me, waiting for me to mess up so that they could laugh and ridicule me. I knew all of the students hated me; Edward had said as much, and I could feel it. They wanted to see me embarrassed. This was nothing new; the newborns had always felt the same way. They delighted in seeing me publicly shamed. The similarity was drawing me closer and closer to a flashback. Maria had discovered my fear of public humiliation early on, and she used it to punish me every opportunity she got. She’d call me up in front of the others . . . had to just stand there at attention and take it . . .
“Strip your shirt off,” Maria’s cool, commanding voice demanded. I felt the thrill her sadistic mind got from hurting me. “Time for your punishment.”
A snickering laugh from the girl sitting next to me jerked me out of the painful memory with a start. It was only after I noticed where she was looking that I realized I was gripping the desk so tightly I’d dug my fingernails halfway through the wood. My entire body was stiff with tension, and she found it amusing. I forced my hands to release the desk before I snapped it in two, only to begin trembling violently as the panic, fear, and shame finally overtook me.
I wanted to bolt from the classroom and run far, far away to the safety of the woods. I could not handle this! It was too much. But I was trapped. Unlike college, I could not decide I’d reached my limit and take a break. In high school, I had to be a subservient child with no free will. Fleeing the classroom would earn me punishment. Not that the humans could really do anything to me, but if I caused trouble, it would draw attention to the Cullens, to Alice. I had to stay and endure this torture. Here, I had no say in what happened to me. I hadn’t felt so powerless since I left Maria. Had to obey, follow orders, and endure the humiliation. No say, no say . . .
My lungs were struggling desperately to start hyperventilating, but I had to stop them from taking a single breath for fear of what I’d do. I prayed that no one else would notice how my body was convulsing. God, I needed Alice. Her emotions helped keep the flashbacks at bay. Feeling her love gave me strength and courage. If only I wasn’t all alone, if only I could feel her. If only . . .
I contemplated for a moment if I COULD feel her. She was across the hall in her English class. I’d seen her walk into the room, and the tug on my heart confirmed that she was still there. She was certainly within my range as far as distance was concerned, but she was amidst the emotions of a sea of students. Could I find her, focus on her, when so many others were threatening to overwhelm me?
From my heart, I could feel a weak thread of love linked to me, holding me stable despite the hatred, anger, and frustration swirling around me. I tried my hardest to focus on that flimsy thread, as if Alice were sitting right there next to me. As I followed the feeling it felt stronger and stronger until I was flooded with love. I was sure I’d found Alice. No one else’s emotions felt like that-warm, loving, hopeful. It made me feel safe. My shoulders slumped with relief as I lost myself, and everyone else’s emotions, in her.
I felt instantly braver, stronger; she was even keeping the memories of Maria away. I wished I could show her how grateful I was for her love, for her presence in my life. Intuitively, I sent her a wave of my own love, letting her feel exactly what she meant to me. I love you, Alice. You’re everything to me.
I felt the quick flash of surprise in her emotions as she realized I was affecting her. Immediately after that subsided, an explosion of love overwhelmed me. I could almost hear her professing her love for me. The emotions said it louder than words ever could. I’m here for you, supporting you, whatever you need. I love you more than anything; so much my heart can not contain it all.
I nearly gasped at the intensity of her love. It gave me confidence and made me feel so much better, but I still wanted more. I needed to TALK to her. I wanted to tell her what was happening in the classroom, warn her how close I was to slipping, ask for her support through the humiliation. I pondered that for a moment. I COULD tell her what I was feeling, not with words, but with my power. The problem was I didn’t want to make Alice feel like me. She shouldn’t feel terrified. But maybe if I just let her feel the briefest taste, maybe just maybe I could let her know what I was feeling without actually causing her to feel those things herself.
Cautiously, I opened the connection and let her feel the tiniest hint of the fear that was debilitating me before I quickly pulled it all back inside. I hoped she got the message. Alice, I’m so scared. I can’t do this. I can’t do this! I’m going to slip.
My fear did not overtake her. Instead of the worry I expected to feel from her reaction, I was flooded with confidence. Alice’s confidence. In me. I knew I didn’t deserve it, not at all, but feeling her confidence bolstered my own. I told myself I could this, and it seemed almost plausible. It was almost as if she were sitting beside me, squeezing my hand, and reassuring me. You can do this, Jazz. I know you can. You’re stronger than you think, but I know you’ll make it through this and please me.
Sharing with her had helped a great deal, but there was so much more I wanted to say. She needed to know this wasn’t just a generalized fear of slipping. Something was happening, something awful, and it would hurt me and put us all in danger. I struggled with what to do. I needed to tell her so badly, but it was wrong to make Alice feel humiliated. I felt a gentle increase in her love and a soft brush of concern, and I decided to tell her. Just a little bit. Just so she’d know what was going on, how close I was to danger. I let her feel a brief moment of my humiliation first, that was important for her to understand. It was what was putting me so close to the flashbacks. There was so much more, but the rest was harder to identify. Trapped. I let her feel that; it explained a lot. Panic, just for the tiniest fraction of a second. The rest was . . . too hard to put words to. Frustrated, I just let her feel everything, exactly how I felt, for a few moments. It said more than words ever could, and I knew that Alice would understand everything.
Her response was strong and clear. Her confidence. Her unconditional love. I let the warmth of her emotions envelop me and make me feel safe. I knew what she was saying. You can do this. I know you can do this. But no matter, what, I love you. I will always be at your side.
It was enough to keep me calm and centered as the other students went before me. It was as if Alice were there holding me, and nothing else mattered. But then the teacher called my name. A wave of panic hit me so hard that even Alice’s emotions couldn’t hold it back. I shared it with her. I was too scared to think about doing this alone. It’s happening, Alice. The horrible thing is happening now. I can’t do this. I’m so scared.
Suddenly her emotions were battling back the panic. Both feelings warred within me, but her confidence was enough to allow me to stand up, albeit on shaky legs. I trembled as I walked to the front of the classroom. All of their eyes were on me. I nearly lost it as I heard a snicker behind me, but I’d left the connection with Alice open, and her strong emotional response quickly stabilized me. My hand shook terribly as I wrote the problem out on the board. It ruined my penmanship, making my handwriting nearly unrecognizable, but I vaguely registered that no one here cared. As I turned around, my lungs struggled to hyperventilate again, but I kept my throat tightly shut. I waited until I’d completely lost myself in Alice’s emotions again before I attempted speech. I knew everyone was glaring, but I kept my eyes purposefully fixed on the floor in front of me. I could feel their emotions lapping at me. They enjoyed seeing me suffer, just like the newborns did, just like Maria did. But I didn’t let myself think about it. All I thought about was Alice and the confidence she had in me. I would not disappoint her. Nervously, I inhaled my first breath. The scent was overpowering, and I had to clutch the teacher’s desk to stop myself from attacking the closest student. There was more laughter as I gripped the desk. The humiliation nearly incapacitated me. But I felt Alice still there with me, and she gave me the strength to do what I needed to do.
“The solution to the pro-problem …” Oh God, my accent sounded so strong! People were talking about me now, muttering horrible things under their breaths. Like a Northerner! Talk like a Yankee, I reminded myself. I began again. This time my accent was less pronounced, but I was so ashamed that it was still there at all. I couldn’t even talk right! I was giving us away, raising suspicion, and I deserved a punishment just for that.
I used that first breath for as long as I could, but eventually my voice went hoarse and I was forced to inhale again. Alice’s confidence swelled again just as the scent hit me. I staggered for a moment as I struggled for control. The mocking from audience continued, but Alice gave me the strength to resist my urges. Amazingly, I finished my explanation without killing anyone or crumbling to the floor with sobs of humiliation. Mr. Henderson even praised me for my good work. I was still trembling as I sat down, but somehow I made it back to my seat.
Relief swelled within me. I was more than happy to share these new emotions with Alice. Happiness. Relief. Gratitude. Alice, we did it! We did it!!! You were right there with me, and you took care of me and gave me the strength to succeed. Oh Alice, I didn’t fail you. Thank you! Thank you!
The emotions she gave me in return did not need an explanation. Pride. Alice was proud of me, and it was the most wonderful feeling I’d ever experienced. I could do this for her. Everything was always for my Alice.
I jumped slightly as the bell rang. But I smiled as soon as I realized what it meant. I had five minutes to see my Alice before we had to be at our next class. Five minutes. I rushed past everyone and was the first one out the door. Alice was already standing there waiting for me. She was smiling. She was smiling for me. Overwhelmed with emotion, I ran to her and lifted her up into my arms. We’d talked about not showing too much affection to each other in public, but I didn’t care. I needed to hold her for a moment. Her smile continued and her warm, pleased emotions comforted me as I held her. We didn’t say anything aloud. What was there to say with words that we hadn’t shared already? I hadn’t failed. Alice was happy with me. She was smiling because she was pleased with me. It was the greatest joy I’d ever known. Alice loved me. Alice was pleased with me. Alice had confidence in me. I could conquer any other problems the day presented, and soon I would have a whole weekend to be with my Alice. Everything was going to be okay.