A lifetime of it. . .

[sirensfall]

When I think about the way I've felt, for no good reason, the past two nights, I realize that it is nothing new. I have spent my entire life afraid of something. Most of the time, it is just strangers, change, anything new. I remember hiding behind my mother when it came time to meet my kindergarden teacher. I've always been scared of failure,

Comments

[stinknyu]

in a way yes, a lack of activity probably can because for me its a feeling of void. the feeling of not accomplishing anything. i have to be working on something, moving, putting my hands to work. i feel depressed and useless if i'm not doing something. but even more its our own will and self esteem that triggers a lot of it. i still struggle with my long time depression but corey is a big help. even with my job at @ chkd i still feel unfullfilled. i feel it isn't me like i dont' belong. so i'm on the search for something else. HOWEVER!!! i am grateful and pleased at myself for at least giving it a shot and getting of my sorry ass to try. hey who said working at the big corperation is better anywho? its not like i'm making big bucks here or anything. so no worries, just get up and do something. even if its not exactly what you want for the moment. be proud of your decisions for they are yours and yours alone. take it as a learning experance and say fuck it; i tried and i can move on without regrets. it might help you feel better, i

[gravee]

Hopefully, soon, will be a post with much less angst and more good news

I'm always happy to hear read happy news, but the angsty kind is just so much more intriguing. I can sometimes get depressed by doing nothing. If I play a video game for an entire day, it feels wasted. I feel horrible and contemplate what productive things I should have done.

Basically it comes down to this: You are an incredible person who inspires joy-joy feelings in all those around you. Chillax. I think I know you pretty well considering we've hardly seen each other in real life. You're just awesome. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better, either. Remember how I like angsty posts?

Be good.

[guardallstar]

I don't know if lack of activity will casue depression usually, but it does for me. I would DIE after a month. I'm so used to being uber busy that it would kill me. With a lack of things to do I think too much and start to get down, especially since I feed off of other people's energy.
You're more extraverted, but it's important for you to see your friends, boys whatever, and you have a lot of time to think about things until they seem bad. - I think it makes a lot of sense that that would cause depreesion.
Hang in there girly!!