don't read this.

[sirensfall]

what do you do when you know the way you feel and are acting is wrong... but you can't control it? you know it is irrational, but there is nothing you can do, nothing that will get yourself out of the way you feel. nothing that can stop you from crying and wanting to hurt things. How do you control those feelings? how do i make them go away? I'm really fucking tired of be crazy. It only makes my life worse and drives people away. I want to be better. I just wish i could turn it off, that i knew how to. I guess the first step would be not revealing the crazy. Oops.

I can't even go to a doctor or anything because my insurance is changing in a month.

I'm so fucking tired of feeling this way, especially for no reason.