[video]
[Joker is sitting in the beanbag chair, as always, but looking a bit worse than usual. One hand is wrapped with a wrist splint and the top few buttons of his shirt are open, showing a bruised neck and collar bone. There is a bandage over the bridge of his nose and one eye is slightly blackened. It looks like was rammed face-first into concrete. Nevertheless, he is smiling.]
Good evening lads, ladies and lunatics!
Looks like the floodgates are opened again, eh? Been awhile since I've seen this much of a hullabaloo around the baseball diamond!
[He leans towards the camera and squeezes an eye shut in a playful, knowing wink]
To all you newbies, welcome to Siren's Port. I'm sure the Greeters have already filled your heads with nonsense, so here's a more practical and unbiased general guideline to our lovely little baleful boomtown here.
First! You've doubtlessly been introduced to our hosts. AGI and SERO. Get used to seeing those blokes around because they'll be vying for control over ya.
[He lifts a finger pointedly]
SERO would be your mad scientists, AGI enjoys sex trafficking. They're arsenic and strychnine. Cancer and tuberculosis. They'd love to give you a life of luxury in return for your years and tears of service. Oh, sure, they both have charming public fronts but everything they say is Legalese for "We will own you."
Then there's the Darkness. They're monsters, but not as monstrous as the corporations because they don't have lawyers. They come out at night to chew on your noggin. They're killable but they sprout up the next night right as rain. Fun thing about these critters is they seem to be created from the souls of the dead. Ask Miles Edgeworth about that some time, he's a real pro with that topic.
[He sits back]
The Core is the transdimensional kajigger that dragged you here. Nobody knows much about it but I think it loves us cause it never wants us to leave. That's right, kiddos! Find a nice pad and kick back 'cause you're not going anywhere. Even death's door is no portal outta here. Odds are you'll come right back.
So there's your intro, hope you have a lovely time. And I'll take any questions you might have because I'm such a nice guy. And you can trust me. Not like the cops. Here's another, final lesson: Don't bring concerns to the police. They're idiots.
Except for Re-l. She's okay.
Good evening lads, ladies and lunatics!
Looks like the floodgates are opened again, eh? Been awhile since I've seen this much of a hullabaloo around the baseball diamond!
[He leans towards the camera and squeezes an eye shut in a playful, knowing wink]
To all you newbies, welcome to Siren's Port. I'm sure the Greeters have already filled your heads with nonsense, so here's a more practical and unbiased general guideline to our lovely little baleful boomtown here.
First! You've doubtlessly been introduced to our hosts. AGI and SERO. Get used to seeing those blokes around because they'll be vying for control over ya.
[He lifts a finger pointedly]
SERO would be your mad scientists, AGI enjoys sex trafficking. They're arsenic and strychnine. Cancer and tuberculosis. They'd love to give you a life of luxury in return for your years and tears of service. Oh, sure, they both have charming public fronts but everything they say is Legalese for "We will own you."
Then there's the Darkness. They're monsters, but not as monstrous as the corporations because they don't have lawyers. They come out at night to chew on your noggin. They're killable but they sprout up the next night right as rain. Fun thing about these critters is they seem to be created from the souls of the dead. Ask Miles Edgeworth about that some time, he's a real pro with that topic.
[He sits back]
The Core is the transdimensional kajigger that dragged you here. Nobody knows much about it but I think it loves us cause it never wants us to leave. That's right, kiddos! Find a nice pad and kick back 'cause you're not going anywhere. Even death's door is no portal outta here. Odds are you'll come right back.
So there's your intro, hope you have a lovely time. And I'll take any questions you might have because I'm such a nice guy. And you can trust me. Not like the cops. Here's another, final lesson: Don't bring concerns to the police. They're idiots.
Except for Re-l. She's okay.