004: Uchiha Sasuke
Unless that ... thing, has managed to grow legs and transport itself short distances, there's no excuse for its return to my house. Naruto, stop breaking and entering when I'm not home.
Or at any other time.
[Behind him, said couch is perched gently decomposing in a spew of stuffing and biohazard-orange fibers. His attempt to dispose of it in the woods didn't make it look any prettier. It just gets worse and worse. It's beyond him, why Naruto seems so attached to the damned thing.
It's like somehow, in its infinite couch-ey wisdom, it knows eventually one of the Uchiha brothers will give in and reupholster it. Right now it's a matter of pride, but it's becoming clear they won't be rid of it any time soon. But couches can't be smug, you see.
Furniture has no feelings, since it is, in the end, just furniture.]