woah I loved that...it made me smile while I was reading it, and that's definitely a good thing :)
first of all: opening line was awesome ("i like how you move me")
"makes my hair stand straight up and shiver cold when you deliver one of the final notes" I actually like these line breaks...they give an interesting vibe, the way you separated 'stand straight up' and 'shiver cold' and 'deliver on of'. That was nice.
Love love love the last 8 lines...amazing. Especially "just an open mind and will to do what it will take to steal the breath away that sings my secrets to the world" And I loved how you repeated the "help me/let me fly part", it was the right idea to emphasize, especially since you end the poem with that idea.
Comments 2
first of all: opening line was awesome ("i like how you move me")
"makes my hair stand
straight up and shiver
cold when you deliver
one of the final notes"
I actually like these line breaks...they give an interesting vibe, the way you separated 'stand straight up' and 'shiver cold' and 'deliver on of'. That was nice.
Love love love the last 8 lines...amazing.
Especially "just an open mind
and will to do what it
will take to steal
the breath away that
sings my secrets to the world"
And I loved how you repeated the "help me/let me fly part", it was the right idea to emphasize, especially since you end the poem with that idea.
Very nice :D
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