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[siriusblack515]

The dream is every night now. And of my friends and ex-friends in New York, being killed by me. Me holding the lightsaber in my hands, watching them beg for mercy. I don't show them any. In my heart, they haven't earned mercy from me. I had never gotten mercy. The world doesn't show mercy for the weak. That's why I do what I do in the dream,

Comments

[razberiflame]

I'm not sure how to start this comment. I'm not sure there is a good way to. I couldn't sleep when I tried because all these thoughts ran through my head in the form of things I had to tell you. I then got up and turned the computer on

[razberiflame]

But I guess in all honesty, none of that matters now, right? I mean, you have made your choice I suppose. Yet you think no one will mourn, that we will be happy. You are wrong. I wish I could make you understand. I still don't want to give up on you. And yet you tell me I don't care. Did you think I didn't care when I called the hotline when you still lived here? I was scared shitless to do that, but I faced that-- for you, because I couldn't go see you myself. I'd do it again, but I don't know how, and I'm not sure that it would work. I dont' know what would work. Any ideas I have aren't feasible now. Damn the distance. I just don't want you to do this. Maybe I can't stop you from hurting yourself, because you feel pleasure from it. I'll let you in on a secret. Unless you started about 3 years before I know you started, I tried cutitng myself. It is very different than the manner in which you do and I don't care to explain about it. Every once in awhile the urge comes. When was the last time I did it? Three days