Comments | sirwacki: a date with my bladder

sirwacki

a date with my bladder

Nov 18, 2007 23:08

A date occurred this evening. Two people were involved, one was a cute blonde with slightly flippy hair and an excellent nose. The other was me. There were cups of coffee involved in the incident and while they didn't participate in the conversation they did have some effect on it's pacing ( Read more... )

Comments 8

the_gil_monster November 19 2007, 14:06:04 UTC

Glad the date went well. Did you remember to communicate exclusively in that lame-tarded "SpotSpeak" while you were there? Good. That's even MORE embarrassing than a case of the runs.

When they say "Park it", that's actually their way of saying you're going to be glued to a commode for a week and a half. Trust me on this.

Oh- and while I was in the Men's Room feeling most "390 North during Rush Hour" from drinking a mochacinno that could only be described as "Fast Ferry" and "Conkey", I heard spy music. Some guy in tuxedo shoes took the stall next to mine, and loudly- but coolly- grunted in a British accent as he proceeded to stink up Spot Coffee worse than the homeless do. "Rather good show!" he beamed. "Q thinks HE can make deadly weapons, check THAT out! Smashing!" Then the spy music resumed and he left. So I wouldn't worry about that.

The weird thing was that like two women were waiting for him. RIGHT OUTSIDE THE STALL. Bleayauck.

sirwacki November 19 2007, 17:36:28 UTC

God, I'm so relieved. In more ways than one.

From now on I'm GOING TO USE THE BATHROOM. No shame in it at all.

It's sometimes tough to live by the James Bond code of coolness. What do you think he does about itchy balls?

the_gil_monster November 19 2007, 19:13:01 UTC

I don't know but it must be good for how many bimbos he sleeps with? We never even see his hand GESTURE towards the bikini zone, so whatever he uses MUST keep crab lice in check.

moad_terran_hq November 19 2007, 22:59:04 UTC

007 is a trained assassin - he just keeps a supply of tiny wires to garrote the little buggers....

Thread 5

moad_terran_hq November 19 2007, 22:57:27 UTC

Y'know, now that she believes you have never taken a poo, she is going to be terrified of hugging you....

Explosion hazard, and all....

(Congrats on the date thing, even if your bladder is sabotaging you.)

Forget me not i_am_moof November 20 2007, 04:03:21 UTC

This might be the first date with your everlasting love, your soulmate. I wouldn't want you to forget the evening. I hope you saved a remembrance, something special; a 2-liter bottle comes to mind...

Re: Forget me not sirwacki November 20 2007, 04:34:50 UTC

Oh yes, a I brought a diet coke bottle with me. I have one for every date I've been on...