No matter what happens, we will always be friends....Part 2
Part 2/3
Adam could not believe what Gokey was asking him to do, and in front of all his smirking family as well. “What the fuck...where did you get this?” he interrogated him with wide incredulous eyes, the theatre picture of himself in full body make up and glitter staring right back up at him from the table where Gokey had shoved it in front of his nose. Gokey had smirked and said “just sign it Lambert”. Adam did, a sinking feeling in his stomach, not wanting to make any more of a scene than he already had. “You owe me one Danny” he muttered under his breath, but making sure that Danny had heard him, as he scrawled his signature and a few words across the picture. One of Danny's cousins squealed in the background “ Oh, I thought you would be so proud of that picture Adam” she tittered. Adam just scowled and sank back into himself a little more, reaching for his drink.
He had thought this was over. Those pictures of him and Brad on the internet, that horrendous Bill O'Reilly thing. 'I'm not ashamed' he had thought vehemently to himself. And he wasn't. But his heart had sank at the thought that his Idol dream would be over just when it had just started to get real. But it had been all right somehow. His voice and his talent and the support of the judges had got him through all that. And he had started to feel safe again.
And now this shit? God, Danny and his family were douches of the first order, narrow minded self righteous prigs! But instead of anger all he could feel was a wave of sadness sweeping over him. He had thought he was safe here in this Idol bubble, safe now that he had got through the media frenzy of those pictures of him and Brad, safe with this pseudo family of warm, happy, funny people. He realised too late that he had let his guard down. How could he? He was always so careful to craft that perfect mask of self confidence and self reliance. Oh, and that was more than a mask. That was real. He had worked hard on that for eight years now. But his weakness was always other people. The chink in his armour. He would let anyone with a warm heart and a loving smile in.
And that's how Kris had got in wasn't it? He glanced over at Kris now, laughing helplessly at something Matt had said, eyes crinkling, head back, abandoning himself to the moment. He could tell that Kris was more than a little drunk, but so what, he deserved to celebrate. He had got through when even Adam had thought his friend was going to go home that week. And Adam could not help feeling a seep of pride enter in, and something more... joy? tinged a little with something else perhaps? at the thought that he got to have Kris spend another week with him in this crazy dream.
The car journey back was something he just had to endure. He felt Kris's eyes on him at one point and looked up. Those deep warm brown eyes were looking at him through long lashes, trying to puzzle him out, trying to question him. Kris smiled his slow southern smile at him and jutted his chin upwards in that expressive way he had. Adam gave a weak smile in return and then looked down. He didn't want to think of Kris right now. He didn't want to think about how his sweet, funny, laid back, deeply talented friend made him feel right now. He wanted to keep that friendship. He needed to keep that friendship. He was determined to keep that friendship.
His mind drifted back to the night before when he and Kris had stayed up practically all night talking. Talking about nothing and everything. And how he had realised with a sudden jolt half way through the night that this is how it always started with him. The not wanting to fall asleep for fear of missing something the other one said or did, to learn just one more little thing about that fascinating other person. And the shy flirting, the shared confidences that had sustained him for weeks now on Idol. How Kris's hands moved, strong and expressive, when he was talking about something that really caught his imagination. How he always sought Adam out for advice, or a song choice, or just to hang. How he had kept glancing up at Adam during their long, long talk the night before with something that almost looked like awe.
And then his mind darted to the show earlier this evening. How Kris had grasped his leg unconsciously when he thought Ali, their baby sister, was going into the bottom three for possibly the last time. And how, when she was safe, Kris has practically sat down again right on top of his lap in his relief. That had made Adams groin stir involuntarily and he had to put his arm down to cover it, lowering his eyes in disbelief. Not here! Not now for gods sake!
Back at the mansion he just wanted to escape. Crawl away and hide. He had had several vodka Martinis at dinner and his mind was beginning to slip and slide just a little from fatigue and alcohol and something like defeat. He made his excuses and left the raucous party down below. He just needed some peace and quiet he said to himself. Back in his room, the one he shared with Kris, he walked into the bathroom and flicked on the light, intending to run the shower and soak away his pain. But he couldn't. Suddenly he was overcome with wave after wave of sadness as tears started from his eyes. 'You're just tired from the stress and the alcohol, and because you didn't get much sleep last night' he reprimanded himself.
Sinking back on to his bed he held his head in his hands and allowed himself to weep softly. 'Sometimes even the strongest cry' he told himself. But he knew it wasn't really about Danny and his ridiculous red neck family and their bullying. Normally he would have just cut them with one searing glance of his baby blues. No, it was something else, something deeper, something he should not have let in through that chink in his armour.
The door opened softly and there was Kris, head and shoulders coming into their room, his hair sticking up in tufts and his eyes all round and searching. Kris looked towards the bathroom light and Adam realised he couldn't see him here in the dark. He thought about not saying anything for a moment, but knew that was just silly, they shared this room for gods sake. And Kris was his friend. “I'm over here Kris” he finally managed to get out.
First Kris was in front of him saying something, then the next second he was crouched low sitting next to him, all tender and sympathetic and angry with Gokey, his warm leg pressed hard against his, and his arm firm round his shoulder. Adam felt Kris's warm breath fluttering on his cheek, his forehead pressed against his own, and something broke in him. The sympathy was too much, the love in Kris's voice was too much. He tried to stifle a sob and the next thing he felt was Kris lifting up his face and looking into his eyes. Adam gazed into those soft deep brown eyes. He felt like he was gazing into Kris's soul. And Kris's soul was a beautiful thing. He could get lost there, surrender, never come back. Kris was touching his face, smearing his tears across his cheek....Kris, Kris was kissing him!
It took a few seconds for Adam's brain to register what was happening. The warm soft brush of lips against his, the hand on the back of his neck, the tender voice “I got you. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again...” And the warmth spreading from his lips, down his neck to where Kris's hand held him, Kris sinking down into him, his tongue slipping very gently in between Adams parted lips, kissing him long and slow, and the warmth spreading down his body to his groin and ...ah, oh my god this was too much. What was Kris doing? Adam pulled back slightly, startled, his eyes questioning, searching Kris's face for an answer. One did not come. Kris just gazed back at him with that soft totally open expression.
“Wha...what are you doing Kris?” Adam said finally, too tired and worn out to be nervous, but something in his brain wanted an answer all the same. “You..you're kissing me.” Oh, way to go Lambert, stating the obvious, he thought with a slight pang. Kris didn't pull away, just kept gazing at him with that look, stroking his cheek with the back of his hand, the strong lean fingers of his other hand gently rubbing the back of Adams neck and slowly twisting into the hair at the nape. Finally... “Umm, guess I am”...still the look, still the gentle caresses.
A fleeting thought crossed Adam's numb mind. He's drunk. He doesn't mean it. Then another thought came. But he was only tipsy, he can't have had that much to drink? And then finally the words came... “But why Kris?”
Their lips were still only inches apart. He could feel Kris's warm breath gently exhaling into his mouth. “Just seemed kinda nice y' know, kinda natural” came Kris's response, eyes still gazing into his, but searching a bit now. Searching for Adam's response. And that was all Adam needed, all he wanted, to lean back into Kris's mouth and to kiss him this time. His mind and body worn down from tiredness and vodka and regret, he reacted instinctively, reaching for Kris's lips this time. A warm glow coiled in Adam's stomach as he leaned slightly over Kris, putting his hand up to his jaw this time, angling it with the palm of his hand to allow his tongue to glide slowly and languidly into that perfect mouth. Caressing Kris's jaw and the angle where it met his neck. Following the curve of that neck with his thumb and forefinger down to his collar bone and back again while he kissed him a little harder, a little deeper with each passing tick of the bedside clock - tilting Kris back onto his bed as he worked his tongue into and around his mouth. Kris allowed himself to be moved back, his own tongue reaching back into Adam's mouth, around and over his lips, breath becoming a little shorter, more ragged, nipping gently at Adam's lip with his teeth.
Adam broke the kiss when they were fully horizontal on the bed, Kris's body stretched out warm and firm underneath his. Adam was looking down at him now, eyes hooded, their hips melded together, Adam's long leg pressed between Kris's thighs, willing his eyes to flutter open. Wondering what he would see there. When they did all he saw were blown pupils and desire staring back at him.
*End of Part 2*