Someone please help me explain why this is so very wrong to do

[sisterjune]

Dear flist, I received THIS PM in my mailbox this morning:

Hi! I saw that you identified yourself as Muslim in the Community episode 2.05 discussion thread, and I was hoping you would be willing to lend me your perspective on a fic I'm working on, specifically on whether a particular plot point might be considered offensive or otherwise

Comments

[nostalgia_lj]

*facepalm* "Please tell me how Your People feel about stuff!"

[sisterjune]

that's how it felt yeah :(

[leskuh]

I don't think your reaction is extreme or crazy. I feel like this girl has her heart in the right place, but is kind of going about things in the wrong way. She's kind of singling you out and, like you said, you're not really qualified to speak for all other Muslims in the world. You can say: "I personally do/don't find this offensive." but that doesn't mean someone else WON'T react to whatever the possibly offensive thing is in a different way.

IDK. I think you should turn her down, but explain why. Or even just say, "I'm sorry, but I'm honestly not comfortable doing this." If she calls you a bitch or gets aggressive, it's on her. You don't know her and you have no obligation to her or her fic. If you're uncomfortable with being in the position she's put you in I think you have every right to remove yourself from it.

[sisterjune]

Yeah exactly I dont think she is evil, she's a nice girl but she really doesnt understand why what she's doing is kind of rude. and I mean I feel singled out and I am ALREADY really anxious about social stuff in general, and so this feels like an even bigger thing to me than maybe someone else in place would feel. But like I dont even know what to say, because it's not even that I dont want to help her, I CANT this is not something I could ever really know. I mean I feel like if she has to ask me, it cant be a super obvious line about muslims being dirty and evil or something. Probably more subtle and subjective, in which case I really cant know for sure and I kind of hate that I am expected to know. and I spent years being the token muslim wherever I was and being expected to know everything about islam and muslims and for years I went on thinking that I am SUPPOSED to and only realized later in my life that that is nuts. So this just sort of put me back in 10th grade for a moment

[guingel]

gaaaaaaaaaaaah. transitioning out of the "i want to learn so my heart is in the right place so clearly it's fine for me to just ask people to educate me" phase is a toughie

[darkeyedwolf]

That's what I would say, too. Something like "it's good that you're trying to be sensitive, but Muslims aren't a hive mind, honestly. I'm only one person and I can't tell you if something would/wouldn't be offensive to every Muslim who ever reads your fic. How about researching (X) itself on google?"

[guingel]

oh, hey you!

(this is my default icon, btw - sorry for the aggression XD)

[sisterjune]

See and this sounds dumb but I dont even know what she'd research or where. I dont have any links about Islam 101 or research. I have links to alot of muslim feminist and progressive spaces mostly via lj but that wouldnt really tell her anything as pertains to her fic.
I dont even know what she wants to know. Part of me is curious but I really dont want to encourage this from her. Because I dont like it at all! I just plain dont want to deal with it. I like my little bubble.

[yeloson]

Yeah, "Take your time to educate me" is definitely annoying, especially since, you know, Islam is how much of the world's population, and the choice to still be ignorant?

When I feel nice I give a link or two and a book. When I don't feel nice I simply recommend Mr. Google and Amazon. When I feel like I don't give a fuck, I ban then delete.

[sisterjune]

Yeah and like I head out the door early this morning and didnt come home till 20 minutes ago. So i had no time or patience to deal at that point. Honestly I want to just ignore her or tell her "NO!" and leave it at that cause it'd be easier. But she's in a fandom that I am really attached to and am fairly active in so like if I came off really badly to her it might spread and cause trouble for me. That shit happened to me in real life and I dont need it happening to me online (in fact the RL situation was similar except it didnt relate to Islam but rather a poem this white kid wrote about "mother africa" and yeah I think you have an idea of how bad it was. It was my turn to critique him and I was 100% honest about what I thought of his ignorant poorly written dumb as shit poem and it didnt go over well with him. I could give a shit but he's in two of my classes and has lots of friends in both so its been awkward/tense since -_

[paperclipchains]

I'd give her a link to this post. It is rude of her, you've more or less explained why here.

I'm trying to think of what it would be like to get this kind of request... A guy asking me if I had trouble with the way women were portrayed? Well, I'd assume the worst, and then I'd probably take a look, because I'm in love with my own opinions and can't turn down an opportunity to share them.

[sisterjune]

I'll probably find a shorter less ranty to tell her when I feel more calm. and I've calmed down a bit since this morning but yeah, I dont want to make things uncomfortable in fandom for me in the future by being to severe with this girl and I know she means well but I was pretty bothered by the whole thing. esp since I am already pretty socially anxious in RL and online is where I can kind of get away from all that, and then suddenly there is this and I feel like I've been put in the hotseat suddenly