arxev
in
sitcomathon
Entourage for Sloganeer!
Title: What Happens in Bumfuck Stays in Bumfuck
Author: arxev
Requested by: sloganeer
Fandom: Entourage
Pairing: Vincent Chase/Eric Murphy/Sloan McQuewick
Prompt: On location
Rating: PG
Author's note: Warnings for marijuana, some spoilers for season 3, and a very long and unbeta'd fic.
“E,” Vincent chuckled around the joint between his lips, reclining in his seat, “*I* am not the one who is messed up here.”
“Not messed up?” Eric stared at him incredulously. “Vince, don’t even get me started, okay?”
“Ah, come on, E. What’s your problem today?” As relaxed as always, Vince kicked his feet up onto the table and leaned his head back. Inhaling on the joint, he squinted quizzically at Eric and grinned. Eric shook his head quietly, marveling; after over twenty years of knowing Vincent, he still had no idea how on earth the guy could be so incredibly cool about absolutely everything. It was like nothing touched him. Of course, that seemed to be Eric’s job -- to be bothered by all the crap that Vince didn’t let in.
Okay, so maybe this wasn’t really the end of the world compared to all the other stuff they’d been through over the past couple of years. Sure, Vince didn’t have a job. Sure, they were out on location in Bumfuck, Nowhere for of all things one of Drama’s stupid TV movies because Vince decided he wanted to tag along. Sure, it was way too close to zero for Eric’s liking. At least he didn’t have to deal with Ari too, right?
Vince was still eyeing him, and Eric felt a slight surge of irritation at the smile on his face -- it was one of those dazzling, thousand-watt “Vincent Chase” smiles, and he had met few people yet who could stand up to it, himself included. Grumbling, he pulled his coat more tightly closed and hunkered down in his chair, trying not to shiver. “First of all, Vin, I don’t know if you noticed, but it’s freezing,” he griped. “Second, I’m trying to get you another job and all you want to do is hang around the hotel and get high, and third, did I actually hear that you hooked up with Drama’s *makeup girl* in his trailer?” He couldn’t help smiling, just a little, on the last point. Just a *little*.
Vince shrugged, innocent as a babe. “So what? She’s a nice girl. I’m sure Johnny won’t mind. Anyway…” Frowning at Eric, he shook his head, waving the joint for emphasis. “That’s not what all this is about, E. You’re being real grumpy today.” A light suddenly seemed to go in his brain; he leaned forward, pointing at Eric as if he had cracked some great conspiracy, and declared: “Sloan.”
“What?” Eric returned Vince’s look blankly, bewildered. “What about Sloan? Sloan is great. I’m meeting up with her later.”
“Nah, E… things haven’t been right with you guys ever since that whole threesome thing. You know,” he added, as if clarification was needed, “with Tori.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know which one you meant,” Eric replied dryly. Still, he had to admit, Vince wasn’t entirely wrong. He’d taken Tori’s advice and stayed with Sloan, but after that, and then with the whole Seth Green thing… well, things had been a little weird lately. “I guess,” he admitted. “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do about it, though.” Ah: here came the part where Vincent came up with some advice that was all but guaranteed to be insane, illogical and probably, against all odds, work like a charm. Relaxing slightly with amused anticipation, Eric reached for the joint.
Vince didn’t let him down. “First off, you need to stop calling *me* messed up when *you* can’t even do a threesome right,” he joked, passing it over. “Other than that… honestly, E, I think you need to try it again.”
Well, insane and illogical were both there in spades, Eric mused through his shock. “Excuse me?” he laughed, disbelieving. “No way, Vince, you’ve got to be kidding me. I’m not falling for another of Sloan’s girlfriends and screwing things up even worse.”
“So don’t bring another girl to the table. Make *her* an offer, you know? Make it something nice for her. I guarantee it will make things less awkward.”
“Less awkward for *who*?”
Vince shrugged easily. “I’m just saying, I think it will smooth things over with her.”
“Right.” Eric gave Vince a skeptical look and drew on the joint, sucking the smoke in deeply. “Anyway,” he added as he exhaled again, “who would I even bring? Come on, Drama? Turtle?” He couldn’t resist a snicker. “Those guys already tried it and screwed up, remember Sundance?”
Vincent didn’t answer right away, although he smiled absently at the memory. He seemed to be thinking about something. “Look,” he said finally. “I love my brother and I love Turtle, but if you’re gonna go for it you need to be with someone who’s less of an…”
“Incompetent fuckup?” Eric suggested, amazed that Vincent was taking this so seriously. What was on his mind?
“Those were not the words I would have chosen,” Vince admonished, laughing, “but you *do* need someone with a little more experience if you’re both going to enjoy it. You should enjoy it too, E.”
“Yeah, so, what? You want me to call up Lloyd or something?” Eric shot back, truly confused. Seriously, where was Vin going with this? His head was beginning to buzz; he wondered briefly if he was already too toked to follow a simple conversation, or if it was just Vince being incredibly obscure.
Again, a brief moment of quiet. Vince gave him a slightly strange look-one that, if Eric were paying more attention, he might recognize as the look many a young woman got from the actor immediately before they found themselves in bed (or, in some cases, in trailer) with him. Leaning close, he took the joint from Eric’s hand and placed it carefully between his lips. As his manager obediently, albeit confusedly, inhaled, he reached over and covered the man’s now-freed hand with his own. It was not their usual brotherly handshake. The light went on again, this time in Eric’s head, and he nearly choked on the smoke in his lungs.
“Vin,” he coughed, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”
“Maybe,” Vincent teased, although this definitely was not the moment for teasing. “But that doesn’t make it a bad idea. Think about it, E.”
And Eric knew he would. Because it was Vince, and it didn’t matter how goofy or harebrained or totally insane Vince’s ideas seemed: Eric always listened, and he always would. Of course, this was completely ridiculous, but he would at least entertain the notion before he shot it down. He would mull it over while the room warmed up -- or maybe that was just him -- and Vince’s hand stayed on his, and while the haze of smoke stirred his brain and made everything nicer but infinitely harder to think about. He thought, and he watched Vince, and Vince watched him back.
“Listen, Vin, I…” he began, intending to protest, when his phone picked what was either the best or worst time *ever* to ring. *Thank God,* he thought and grabbed for it, but froze again when he saw the name: Sloan. *Shit.* He answered, trying to sound both cheerful and not totally high. “Hey! Sloan.”
“Hey. I just wanted to let you know, I’m on my way over. And,” her voice on the other end took a coy turn, “it’s horrible outside, so I think we should stay in. What do you say?”
“I, uh, say…” Eric looked back at Vince, whose hand was still on his, and Vince gave him what he must have thought was a reassuring smile. And that, Eric would muse later -- *much* later -- was the end of it for him. No one could stand up to the dazzling, thousand-watt Vincent Chase smile for long, not even him.
“Hey, Sloan,” he started over. “I’ve got kind of an idea…”
Author: arxev
Requested by: sloganeer
Fandom: Entourage
Pairing: Vincent Chase/Eric Murphy/Sloan McQuewick
Prompt: On location
Rating: PG
Author's note: Warnings for marijuana, some spoilers for season 3, and a very long and unbeta'd fic.
“E,” Vincent chuckled around the joint between his lips, reclining in his seat, “*I* am not the one who is messed up here.”
“Not messed up?” Eric stared at him incredulously. “Vince, don’t even get me started, okay?”
“Ah, come on, E. What’s your problem today?” As relaxed as always, Vince kicked his feet up onto the table and leaned his head back. Inhaling on the joint, he squinted quizzically at Eric and grinned. Eric shook his head quietly, marveling; after over twenty years of knowing Vincent, he still had no idea how on earth the guy could be so incredibly cool about absolutely everything. It was like nothing touched him. Of course, that seemed to be Eric’s job -- to be bothered by all the crap that Vince didn’t let in.
Okay, so maybe this wasn’t really the end of the world compared to all the other stuff they’d been through over the past couple of years. Sure, Vince didn’t have a job. Sure, they were out on location in Bumfuck, Nowhere for of all things one of Drama’s stupid TV movies because Vince decided he wanted to tag along. Sure, it was way too close to zero for Eric’s liking. At least he didn’t have to deal with Ari too, right?
Vince was still eyeing him, and Eric felt a slight surge of irritation at the smile on his face -- it was one of those dazzling, thousand-watt “Vincent Chase” smiles, and he had met few people yet who could stand up to it, himself included. Grumbling, he pulled his coat more tightly closed and hunkered down in his chair, trying not to shiver. “First of all, Vin, I don’t know if you noticed, but it’s freezing,” he griped. “Second, I’m trying to get you another job and all you want to do is hang around the hotel and get high, and third, did I actually hear that you hooked up with Drama’s *makeup girl* in his trailer?” He couldn’t help smiling, just a little, on the last point. Just a *little*.
Vince shrugged, innocent as a babe. “So what? She’s a nice girl. I’m sure Johnny won’t mind. Anyway…” Frowning at Eric, he shook his head, waving the joint for emphasis. “That’s not what all this is about, E. You’re being real grumpy today.” A light suddenly seemed to go in his brain; he leaned forward, pointing at Eric as if he had cracked some great conspiracy, and declared: “Sloan.”
“What?” Eric returned Vince’s look blankly, bewildered. “What about Sloan? Sloan is great. I’m meeting up with her later.”
“Nah, E… things haven’t been right with you guys ever since that whole threesome thing. You know,” he added, as if clarification was needed, “with Tori.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know which one you meant,” Eric replied dryly. Still, he had to admit, Vince wasn’t entirely wrong. He’d taken Tori’s advice and stayed with Sloan, but after that, and then with the whole Seth Green thing… well, things had been a little weird lately. “I guess,” he admitted. “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do about it, though.” Ah: here came the part where Vincent came up with some advice that was all but guaranteed to be insane, illogical and probably, against all odds, work like a charm. Relaxing slightly with amused anticipation, Eric reached for the joint.
Vince didn’t let him down. “First off, you need to stop calling *me* messed up when *you* can’t even do a threesome right,” he joked, passing it over. “Other than that… honestly, E, I think you need to try it again.”
Well, insane and illogical were both there in spades, Eric mused through his shock. “Excuse me?” he laughed, disbelieving. “No way, Vince, you’ve got to be kidding me. I’m not falling for another of Sloan’s girlfriends and screwing things up even worse.”
“So don’t bring another girl to the table. Make *her* an offer, you know? Make it something nice for her. I guarantee it will make things less awkward.”
“Less awkward for *who*?”
Vince shrugged easily. “I’m just saying, I think it will smooth things over with her.”
“Right.” Eric gave Vince a skeptical look and drew on the joint, sucking the smoke in deeply. “Anyway,” he added as he exhaled again, “who would I even bring? Come on, Drama? Turtle?” He couldn’t resist a snicker. “Those guys already tried it and screwed up, remember Sundance?”
Vincent didn’t answer right away, although he smiled absently at the memory. He seemed to be thinking about something. “Look,” he said finally. “I love my brother and I love Turtle, but if you’re gonna go for it you need to be with someone who’s less of an…”
“Incompetent fuckup?” Eric suggested, amazed that Vincent was taking this so seriously. What was on his mind?
“Those were not the words I would have chosen,” Vince admonished, laughing, “but you *do* need someone with a little more experience if you’re both going to enjoy it. You should enjoy it too, E.”
“Yeah, so, what? You want me to call up Lloyd or something?” Eric shot back, truly confused. Seriously, where was Vin going with this? His head was beginning to buzz; he wondered briefly if he was already too toked to follow a simple conversation, or if it was just Vince being incredibly obscure.
Again, a brief moment of quiet. Vince gave him a slightly strange look-one that, if Eric were paying more attention, he might recognize as the look many a young woman got from the actor immediately before they found themselves in bed (or, in some cases, in trailer) with him. Leaning close, he took the joint from Eric’s hand and placed it carefully between his lips. As his manager obediently, albeit confusedly, inhaled, he reached over and covered the man’s now-freed hand with his own. It was not their usual brotherly handshake. The light went on again, this time in Eric’s head, and he nearly choked on the smoke in his lungs.
“Vin,” he coughed, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”
“Maybe,” Vincent teased, although this definitely was not the moment for teasing. “But that doesn’t make it a bad idea. Think about it, E.”
And Eric knew he would. Because it was Vince, and it didn’t matter how goofy or harebrained or totally insane Vince’s ideas seemed: Eric always listened, and he always would. Of course, this was completely ridiculous, but he would at least entertain the notion before he shot it down. He would mull it over while the room warmed up -- or maybe that was just him -- and Vince’s hand stayed on his, and while the haze of smoke stirred his brain and made everything nicer but infinitely harder to think about. He thought, and he watched Vince, and Vince watched him back.
“Listen, Vin, I…” he began, intending to protest, when his phone picked what was either the best or worst time *ever* to ring. *Thank God,* he thought and grabbed for it, but froze again when he saw the name: Sloan. *Shit.* He answered, trying to sound both cheerful and not totally high. “Hey! Sloan.”
“Hey. I just wanted to let you know, I’m on my way over. And,” her voice on the other end took a coy turn, “it’s horrible outside, so I think we should stay in. What do you say?”
“I, uh, say…” Eric looked back at Vince, whose hand was still on his, and Vince gave him what he must have thought was a reassuring smile. And that, Eric would muse later -- *much* later -- was the end of it for him. No one could stand up to the dazzling, thousand-watt Vincent Chase smile for long, not even him.
“Hey, Sloan,” he started over. “I’ve got kind of an idea…”