'Orange Peel' written by Mister Murder Ballad

[sixgunsaint]

For the poetry night, I am trying to become Mr. Murder Ballad, and read at least one of these types of pieces each time. The last time I did it, with a piece called 'The Ballad of Bloody McLee', the audience really got into it - mostly cuz I sang it with an appalachian accent and stomped my foot to an imaginary beat. Kids love the theatrics. Here's

Comments

...everybody look what's goin' down...

[mllemoonbeams]

Ohh, it's like "Where the Wild Roses Grow" from Kylie Monogue's point-of-view! (That wasn't a generalization, but you can't deny that last line. :D) This is wonderful! I have to say that I normally stay very distanced from end rhyme, but you use it so that it's not painfully obvious; it's just another part of the tale, instead of a blatant device.

The story itself, furthermore, is damned delightful!!! I got curious, then aroused, and then kind of scared, and then, THEN...I actually laughed at this poor guy's fate. I thought, Go, Orange Peel!, even though this man had done nothing wrong. I wanted him to die as much as she did. *considers the femme fatale and how wonderful a character she is, no matter what setting*

This is great, Ben!!! Thanks so much for posting it, and please keep doing so.

*still grinning*

Re: ...everybody look what's goin' down...

[sixgunsaint]

Don't worry about the comparison, I freely admit to my ripping off of Nick's album. I actually got more inspiration from his version of 'Willow Garden', though. On the whole, I try to write original stories in the ballads, but most of my stuff is derived from that vast library of urban legends - babysitter gets phone calls, murderer in back seat, Bloody Mary, vanishing hitchhiker, etc. I love all those creepy tales

Re: ...everybody look what's goin' down...

[mllemoonbeams]

I wrote a few poems as a final project for my Women & Jazz class, and all but one of them used end rhyme. I wrote a pretty cute torch song, but I don't want to post it. It was simply too easy to write.

To me, just personally, I feel there is something more...challenging about free verse, because it's not following any particular, restrictive form. At the same time, it's also easy to get some really shitty poetry written for that exact reason.

Regardless, you use it very well.

You WILL get published. I don't have a doubt of that.

If you insist...

The Lepidopterist (Stage One

Re: ...everybody look what's goin' down...

[sixgunsaint]

You're right about free-verse being challenging, as the amount of crappy poetry out there can attest to. Then again, I have become this huge poem elitist for some strange reason, it just snuck up on me. I think it's just this weird urge in me to do whatever's not popular, do always contradict the beloved. I'm quite the prick in that sense. Almost every poet who does the open mic goes up there and reads some rap about how life sucks, how Bush should die, how the poorer get poorer while the rich get richer... it's all very stirring but becomes tedious after the hundredth time. If they didnt do that stuff, heck, I'd probably do it, LOL. Now I just go up there and tell dark campfire stories :D

As far as The Lepidopterist, I thought it was excellent. And I'm not lying, if I didn't like it I would have just ignored you and blocked you off my lj list ;) heh heh. I really did like it though, especially that its main subject is something so out of left-field. I'm not at all familiar with a butterfly scholar, and I find that such an intriguing

[chaosandoldnite]

Man alive! I could actually hear that being sung in my head as I read along. Please please please, put it to a fast beat. I seriously don't think that you need a chorus to it. It should be fast tempo, and almost spoken-word. Make it blue-grassy. Maybe just a mando and a guitar.
It reminded me of Down In The Willow Garden. Of course I sensed Nick Cave at the end and even caught the "July" of Lonesome Dove.

Dude, that was excellent.

On a side note, that's not the name of the Buffalo Springfield song, rather it's called, "For What It's Worth."

[chaosandoldnite]

Hehe, I guess I should've read the comments on here before I posted mine. Now I look like a copy-cat.
I didn't realize Nick Cave did Willow Garden.
I had an old bluegrass version of it that unfortunately was stolen when my car was broken into. The Grateful Dead also did a version if I remember correctly.

[sixgunsaint]

No, man, not a copycat at all. I'm like thrilled that you were reminded of 'Down in the Willow Garden', that means I did what I kind of set out to do. I've fallen so much in love with these old ballads (and not just the murdery ones) that I'm thinking of borrowing my uncles mandolin and playing it with this one next reading. I'm definately going to save up for one when I start working, as seeing Levon play it is really inspirational. By the way, did you know Levon Helms was at the 2001 Blues Fest? Dr John will have to be a decent substitute. Let me know if its still a possibility of you coming.

Hey, the July was a bit of a conceit, but when I was writing it I needed a few names that sounded archaic. I dont know why I liked Tommy Boy, but I hope it doesnt bring Chris Farley to mind. Then July just popped in and I thought "ah yeah!"

Thanks for the good word, m'man. And I just knew the title of the song was wrong, haha, but its how my mp3's labeled so I believed it, heh heh.

[libragirly1313]

Ben, this is awesome! I'd LOVE to hear it once you put it to music!

[porkchop1313]

Where you been sixgunsaint ???
I love the piece in this post by the way- it's awesome- very gothic. :)
Did you read this yet (or perform it, I guess would be more exact!) Was there thunderous applause as there should have been???

[darkdevotchka]

Hey -- you still alive? You've been quiet!! I hope that means that you've been writing lots? :)