Hurt Lingers
Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me.
"Must you always suck all of the attention out of a room?" Petunia bit out as she dropped the stack of dishes in her hands into the sink in front of her with altogether more force than was necessary.
Lily sighed but chose not to engage. The conversation she had just held with the members of her family was a serious one that really should not have been put off any longer. She was sorry that Petunia had felt as if she was trying to one up her. Petunia, however, was liable to take offense no matter what was done or how it was handled, so she was not sure what she should have done differently. Her parents needed protection. Her sister needed protection. The sooner the news was out in the open, the sooner that they could get Petunia's arguments out of the way and get on with making the arrangements. It was not her fault that Petunia had been at their parents' home to make an announcement of her own when she and James had arrived. There were priorities here, and she was not about to let her parents be murdered for lack of a series of protective enchantments just because Petunia was getting into a fit of temper over the lack of excitement for her new house. She took a deep breath and tried to arrange her words as carefully as possible - already knowing that the expression on her older sister's face indicated that she was going to have little to no luck in her endeavor.
[more]
"It's great that you and Vernon have made this purchase," she volleyed first as a sort of a peace offering. "It will make the protections much easier than at that place you were renting."
She might as well have slapped her sister across the face to produce the look that was immediately thrown in her direction.
"Protections?" Petunia hissed at her. "Protections? You aren't coming anywhere near my new home with any of your freakish meddling." Her sister started the hot water flowing from the tap and began rummaging under the sink for the dish soap.
"You know I could just . . .," she started before cutting herself off as she realized she had made another misstep.
Petunia began scrubbing away at the first dish she could reach as if her life depended on it. Lily thought her sister's shoulders were shaking but she could not say whether it was out of upset or rage.
"I'm perfectly capable of washing dishes, Lily, even if I haven't got your talents," she spat making the word sound as if it was a curse.
"Tuney, please, let's just talk about this."
"I said no."
Lily retreated to the other room to continue to make plans with her parents. She would have to work on her sister after she had calmed down a bit. James tilted his head in question, but she merely shook hers in response before explaining to her mother that Petunia had volunteered to wash up the dishes so that they could have a chance to explain more of the details. Her mother had made some comment about that being not necessary before getting distracted by James's attempt to explain how some of the most basic protection spells worked, but her father had raised an eyebrow at her over her mother's head. He knew that something else had been said in that kitchen - he always did. Lily shook her head slightly and the eyebrow rose a fraction further before he allowed himself to be drawn into the conversation. Vernon had settled himself firmly apart from the rest of them and refused to be included in any part of the discussion. The evening clearly could have gone better.
She tried one last time before everyone departed. She had halted her sister outside the front door. Vernon was already waiting in their car, and James had been waved back inside the house. Petunia had done everything short of bolting down the walk to get away from her.
"Do you really have nothing else to say to me?" She asked as she tried to think of anything she could say to try to get this conversation back on track.
"Nothing."
"I don't understand you, Petunia."
"You don't understand me?" The snorting sound that her sister made was derisive in the extreme. "I'm not the one running around entangling myself in unnatural things."
"You were my best friend, Pet." She tried one last appeal at nostalgia.
"Hardly," she dismissed, "even if that were so, it didn't take much for you to replace me, did it?"
"Is that what this is about?" Lily demanded feeling the fragile hold she was keeping on her temper start to slip away from her. "Petty jealousy?"
"Jealousy?" Petunia sound incredulous. "You've just told Mum and Dad that you've decided to run off and elope because there's some sort of a war on and you think you might get yourself killed before you get the chance to plan things properly."
"That's not what I said."
"It's what you meant." Her sister replied. For one brief moment, they could have been little girls again while her older sister gave her that look that had always followed those moments when Lily had tried and failed to make up some explanation for one of the things that was always happening around her that neither they nor their parents could understand. It was that look that had always said quite clearly that she was not buying Lily's attempts to talk her away around whatever it was - the one that said she was disappointed in her for not trusting her sister enough to just say flat out whatever it was that had happened. It pulled at her heart as she remembered that look being followed by hugs and whispered words that it would all be alright coming from the older sister that had promised that she would always help her - the one who had always made things better until each year older and each new set of incidents had pushed them further and further apart as Lily drifted further into the world of things that Petunia couldn't do and Petunia determinedly settled herself further back into the world where Lily couldn't make herself fit.
Lily tried to pause and take a breath before she continued. She did not want this conversation to end in stomping off sisters and ever more angry words the way so many others went. She could not even deny that there was a grain of truth in what Petunia had just said. She and James might get killed in the course of the coming events. They were, more than likely, accelerating their plans because they both knew that was the case. They were not unaware of the dangers or making light of them. That's why she so desperately needed her family to agree to these protections. She needed to keep them safe. Petunia still knew her well enough to read between the lines. That had to count for something. She had to listen. Otherwise, Lily didn't know what she would do. Tonight, however, the time for willingness to listen had clearly passed. She would give her time to cool down and think things over. Then, she would try again. She would just have to keep trying (and hope that there was enough time left for her trying to have some effect).
"Must you always suck all of the attention out of a room?" Petunia bit out as she dropped the stack of dishes in her hands into the sink in front of her with altogether more force than was necessary.
Lily sighed but chose not to engage. The conversation she had just held with the members of her family was a serious one that really should not have been put off any longer. She was sorry that Petunia had felt as if she was trying to one up her. Petunia, however, was liable to take offense no matter what was done or how it was handled, so she was not sure what she should have done differently. Her parents needed protection. Her sister needed protection. The sooner the news was out in the open, the sooner that they could get Petunia's arguments out of the way and get on with making the arrangements. It was not her fault that Petunia had been at their parents' home to make an announcement of her own when she and James had arrived. There were priorities here, and she was not about to let her parents be murdered for lack of a series of protective enchantments just because Petunia was getting into a fit of temper over the lack of excitement for her new house. She took a deep breath and tried to arrange her words as carefully as possible - already knowing that the expression on her older sister's face indicated that she was going to have little to no luck in her endeavor.
[more]
"It's great that you and Vernon have made this purchase," she volleyed first as a sort of a peace offering. "It will make the protections much easier than at that place you were renting."
She might as well have slapped her sister across the face to produce the look that was immediately thrown in her direction.
"Protections?" Petunia hissed at her. "Protections? You aren't coming anywhere near my new home with any of your freakish meddling." Her sister started the hot water flowing from the tap and began rummaging under the sink for the dish soap.
"You know I could just . . .," she started before cutting herself off as she realized she had made another misstep.
Petunia began scrubbing away at the first dish she could reach as if her life depended on it. Lily thought her sister's shoulders were shaking but she could not say whether it was out of upset or rage.
"I'm perfectly capable of washing dishes, Lily, even if I haven't got your talents," she spat making the word sound as if it was a curse.
"Tuney, please, let's just talk about this."
"I said no."
Lily retreated to the other room to continue to make plans with her parents. She would have to work on her sister after she had calmed down a bit. James tilted his head in question, but she merely shook hers in response before explaining to her mother that Petunia had volunteered to wash up the dishes so that they could have a chance to explain more of the details. Her mother had made some comment about that being not necessary before getting distracted by James's attempt to explain how some of the most basic protection spells worked, but her father had raised an eyebrow at her over her mother's head. He knew that something else had been said in that kitchen - he always did. Lily shook her head slightly and the eyebrow rose a fraction further before he allowed himself to be drawn into the conversation. Vernon had settled himself firmly apart from the rest of them and refused to be included in any part of the discussion. The evening clearly could have gone better.
She tried one last time before everyone departed. She had halted her sister outside the front door. Vernon was already waiting in their car, and James had been waved back inside the house. Petunia had done everything short of bolting down the walk to get away from her.
"Do you really have nothing else to say to me?" She asked as she tried to think of anything she could say to try to get this conversation back on track.
"Nothing."
"I don't understand you, Petunia."
"You don't understand me?" The snorting sound that her sister made was derisive in the extreme. "I'm not the one running around entangling myself in unnatural things."
"You were my best friend, Pet." She tried one last appeal at nostalgia.
"Hardly," she dismissed, "even if that were so, it didn't take much for you to replace me, did it?"
"Is that what this is about?" Lily demanded feeling the fragile hold she was keeping on her temper start to slip away from her. "Petty jealousy?"
"Jealousy?" Petunia sound incredulous. "You've just told Mum and Dad that you've decided to run off and elope because there's some sort of a war on and you think you might get yourself killed before you get the chance to plan things properly."
"That's not what I said."
"It's what you meant." Her sister replied. For one brief moment, they could have been little girls again while her older sister gave her that look that had always followed those moments when Lily had tried and failed to make up some explanation for one of the things that was always happening around her that neither they nor their parents could understand. It was that look that had always said quite clearly that she was not buying Lily's attempts to talk her away around whatever it was - the one that said she was disappointed in her for not trusting her sister enough to just say flat out whatever it was that had happened. It pulled at her heart as she remembered that look being followed by hugs and whispered words that it would all be alright coming from the older sister that had promised that she would always help her - the one who had always made things better until each year older and each new set of incidents had pushed them further and further apart as Lily drifted further into the world of things that Petunia couldn't do and Petunia determinedly settled herself further back into the world where Lily couldn't make herself fit.
Lily tried to pause and take a breath before she continued. She did not want this conversation to end in stomping off sisters and ever more angry words the way so many others went. She could not even deny that there was a grain of truth in what Petunia had just said. She and James might get killed in the course of the coming events. They were, more than likely, accelerating their plans because they both knew that was the case. They were not unaware of the dangers or making light of them. That's why she so desperately needed her family to agree to these protections. She needed to keep them safe. Petunia still knew her well enough to read between the lines. That had to count for something. She had to listen. Otherwise, Lily didn't know what she would do. Tonight, however, the time for willingness to listen had clearly passed. She would give her time to cool down and think things over. Then, she would try again. She would just have to keep trying (and hope that there was enough time left for her trying to have some effect).