so tear me open, pour me out
I can't even put into word what I;m feeling right now. a mix of angst, infatuation, missing, and who knows what else. I hate not being able to see her and how what I believe to be karma has screwed up the last 2 times we were suppsoed to be together. If it happens a third time i don't know what I'm gonna do. I know I'm gonna be real cranky and pissed off though. I just want to hear her voice again. even just to hold her hand would mak me the happiest among men. yeah, it sounds cheesy and gay. deal with it. I have a huge sense of longing and anxiousness. only 15 more days. that's far too long. I wish I had a car and my license, I'd be up there every weekend. you know what sucks? I haven't seen her since july. FREAKIN JULY. Karma's a pain in the butt, isn't it? my biggest fear is that another guy will try to take her away from me the way I took her from her last boyfriend (I didn't know it at the time). She doesn't know how beautiful she really is. She doesn't know how much I truly care. She doesn't know how much it kills me to talk to her and not be able to touch her, or even look deeply into each other's eyes the way we did when we met...
...I miss you
disclaimer-I don't care if no one reads this, i just wanted to get it out of my system.