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[skellywag]

My mother is dead. Except that that isn't quite right, because she hasn't really been my mother for a while now. My mother died a few weeks ago, when she started refusing to eat, when her lung capacity dwindled such that a single sentence might take three or four breaths to get out. When she stopped speaking in complete sentences altogether. I

Comments

[askerian]

I'm sorry for your loss.

as for falling apart, it's a trite thing to say but no one grieves in the same way. perhaps it's simply that seeing her go downhill you were already undergoing that process (it happens often in family of people with terminal cancer or the like, i saw that with my grandfather, i was wondering why i didn't feel worse about it but the truth is that he'd been dying for two years and we were all a little relieved.)

It could also be that you're independent and strong, and yeah, i can believe that.

[skellywag]

Thank you so much. This is really reassuring. Honestly. I guess I just had some expectations, this being the first close, significant death I've ever experienced, and I felt guilty more for not handling it badly than I did for any of the other things I could conceivably feel guilty about. And, of course there's some guilt, but it's not overly dramatic chest-beating drowning-in-guilt, either. But I do understand the sense of relief, because there was definitely a little of that too, after it had sunk in a bit more, the next day.

[tailoredshirt]

I'm really sorry. ♥ I'm echoing the previous comment, but everyone grieves so differently depending on the relationship and the circumstances. I'm glad you're okay, even if it is difficult to deal with.

[skellywag]

♥ ♥ Thank you so much.

[ravenpirate]

♥

[skellywag]

EYE LUV EWE.

[ravenpirate]

I LOVE YOU BACK.

[airstreamgypsy]

Baby, I'm sorry. I know I've been out of your life for a while now and I'm sorry. I know the words will do nothing, but I am. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to go through something like this... but I know you're strong and you'll be okay.

If you need anything, anything at all, even just me bitching out family for you or do some calls, or just to distract you let me know. I'll give you my MSN, AIM, anything.

[skellywag]

Don't even worry about it *massive hugs* I know I haven't been the most accessible, so that hasn't helped. But I still love you like crazy; I mean, who else would I plot to steal from Canada? Thank you so much for your support, and oh my god it would be nice to have someone talk to my dozen aunts and uncles for me. I have talked to one of my aunts two or three times a day since it happened, and I just don't have that much to say to people who are related to me, and not acquaintances by choice. (Which sounds awful, but that is the way I am.) But I will talk to them myself. Eventually. >_>;

[willow_fire]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't think you're handling this wrong at all. Some people simply do not put on a performance or fall to pieces at all and sometimes they don't do so in public, even if that sort of meltdown happens.

You're a strong person whose taken more than a few knocks.

I don't want to drown you in sympathy, but I do want to extend my support. *If talking is something that you feel will help you, feel free to contact me anytime. You can reach me through this or FB. But, similar to what you said...Don't feel obligated. I'm not trying to be callous, but I'm pretty confident in your ability to get through this however You see fit.

[skellywag]

Oh, I don't think you're callous at all; this is exactly right. Thank you so much. This is exactly the kind of support I need, because an offer to talk is fine (even though at the moment I'm pretty much talked out; I went back to work today) but my aunt trying to press me into returning to New York is not. *massive hugs* Your confidence in me is awesome, and just what I needed to hear, because I like to think I have that confidence in myself, too.