Dream Until Your Dreams Come True, Finn/Kurt, NC-17
Title: Dream Until Your Dreams Come True
Author: skintightsocks
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Word Count: 7,800+
Summary: Finn tries to forget about it, tries to let it drop like Kurt asked, but he can't stop thinking about it, and it's starting to become a problem because Kurt will be rolling his eyes at Finn while Finn begs him to make them grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and then suddenly Finn will just think, Kurt has never jerked off.
Spoilers: None (takes place during the summer between s1 and s2)
Warnings: Sex between two characters who are under 18, but of the age of consent.
Author Notes: Title is from the song "Dream On" by Aerosmith. We decided we should write some short, friendly jerking off between almost step-brothers because we were so blocked on both Kurt/Blaine sex pollen fic and Kurt/Blaine/Finn faily threesome fic, and then it turned into nearly 8k of step-brotherly angst with dicks. But hey, we finished something! :D!
It's weird, living with another dude. And not just because it's Kurt, even though that makes it extra weird, and the whole blow up with Burt that happened a few months earlier makes it extra extra weird, but on top of all that extra weirdness, it's just weird in general because all of a sudden Finn has to think about everything.
Apparently it's not okay to throw his socks on the floor, or leave his wet towels in the bathroom, or his dirty dishes on his desk, or jerk off in his own damn bed. In Finn's defense, Kurt wouldn't have known about that last one if he hadn't just barged down the basement stairs without warning Finn. And Finn knew Kurt was different - like, obviously - but man. Kurt is really different. He showers every day and he gets up when his alarm clock goes off and he cooks, and he does his own laundry, and he's basically like this mini-grown up. It kind of freaks Finn out.
He doesn't do gross boy stuff, either, as far as Finn can tell. Stuff like burping and farting and talking about sex non-stop. Finn thought that last one might just be because Kurt wasn't into girls, but the one time Finn took a poll and learned that the girls in glee club all had a crush on Johnny Depp and Finn tried to bring up how hot he was with Kurt, Kurt had just looked at him for a really long time and then walked out of the room. Maybe Kurt just didn't like Johnny Depp. Another time Finn tried to talk about a few football players, because he knows Kurt likes football players because of how Kurt liked him, but Kurt just rolled his eyes and left again.
Finn had shrugged it off, at first, figuring Kurt just didn't want to talk about that kind of stuff for the obvious reasons, but a few months after he moves in his mom makes some totally inappropriate joke at the dinner table about how she wishes Kurt would let her do his laundry instead of Finn's, because she's seen his sheets and they're never stained. Finn blushes and hisses, "Mom," and Burt snorts out a laugh, but Kurt just looks kind of... sick, almost, even though he's smiling politely. Finn knows Kurt can be sensitive about stuff, so he rolls his eyes and tells his mom to knock it off, because he's getting kind of awesome at this brother stuff.
Then his iPod breaks, and everything gets turned on its head. Finn's gotten used to falling asleep with his earbuds in, listening to Air Supply's greatest hits on repeat, because Kurt uses some weird white noise machine with ocean sounds that make Finn have to pee. With the music on, he pretty much falls asleep immediately and then wakes up when Kurt inevitably throws something at him because he slept through his alarm. The first night without his iPod is miserable. Finn tries to find his old discman, but then he remembers that he traded it to Puck in 7th grade for a porn mag that ended up not even having that many boobs in it. He breaks down on the second night and begs Kurt to turn off the noise machine, explaining that unless Kurt wants to be woken up like six times by Finn running to the bathroom, it's the only compromise until Finn can afford to replace his iPod. Kurt seems weirdly reluctant to agree, but he finally gives in and everything goes fine, for the most part, until the third night of sleeping without any kind of noise in the room. That's the night that Finn wakes up to Kurt whining in his sleep.
Finn ignores it for a few minutes, because unless Kurt is talking in his sleep and saying something hilarious, there's nothing really weird about making noises when you sleep. But the whines get louder, turning into unmistakable moans, and maybe Kurt's having a really bad nightmare and Finn is supposed to wake him up.
Except when Finn looks over, Kurt is lying down on his stomach, his hips shifting against the bed and Finn can't pretend that Kurt's distressed or whatever anymore because he is totally having a wet dream. And Finn can't look away, which is just weird. He feels kind of creepy, but Kurt's just making these noises, all desperate and high-pitched and his hips are rolling against the bed and Finn's going to look away, he really is, but then Kurt lets out a shockingly low, rough noise and his whole body jerks forward against the mattress. He totally just came. Kurt totally just came and Finn totally just watched Kurt come and Finn's still staring, open-mouthed, when Kurt relaxes back against his pillows with a pleased sounding noise.
Holy shit.
-
Finn decides the best course of action is definitely to try and forget it ever happened. He's had wet dreams since moving into the basement with Kurt too, it's not that weird. They're teenage boys, it's gonna happen. Maybe it was a little weird of Finn to actively watch Kurt, but whatever. Finn can totally forget about this. He forgets tons of stuff without even trying, this will be no sweat.
Except for how every night after that, when Finn tries to sleep he just ends up staring up at the ceiling in the dark, listening to Kurt's slow, even breathing until one of two things happens. Sometimes, Finn falls asleep. But then other times, he listens and listens and listens until he hears Kurt's breath start to hitch, hears him start to whine, and then Finn watches like a great big creepy creep as Kurt rubs off on his bed desperately until he comes and then settles back into sleep with a happy sigh.
It kind of happens a lot. Twice that first week, and then three times the week after that, and it's turning into a problem because now that Finn knows, he can't not know, and he's hardly sleeping and he has really, really got to stop thinking about this. He shouldn't care about how Kurt gets off even if it's rubbing off in his bed while he's asleep.
He shouldn't care, but the more he thinks about it, the more he does care. Maybe Finn isn't giving Kurt enough space so that Kurt feels like he can jerk off when he's awake. He's at summer training camp a lot and sometimes he stays upstairs to watch TV with Burt, and Kurt's always getting up super early to shower before Finn. Finn had just kind of assumed Kurt was doing it in the shower, like Finn does, but now it makes more sense. That must be why Kurt's always doing laundry too, and he why won't let Finn's mom take care of it for him. Finn feels bad that Kurt's been living, like, this entire secret life all because of his wet dreams.
So Finn tries to give Kurt even more space. He starts camping out upstairs, pretending he's interested in Burt's old car magazines so he has an excuse to be up there. He even helps his mom cook once or twice, although once Burt bites into the meatloaf and finds some egg shell, she bans Finn from the kitchen. It doesn't seem to work, though, because Kurt keeps having the dreams and Finn keeps listening to him like a creeper, and Kurt's still getting up an hour early just to shower and wash his sheets.
Plus, Finn secretly thinks it might be contagious or something. That's the only explanation for why he's started to wake up gasping and sweaty and about a second away from coming, his head all confused and thinking about Kurt and-- Finn has really, really got to think of a way to fix this entire weird mess of a situation, before things get any weirder.
-
"So I was thinking," Finn says one night a few days later, "that maybe I could make us a schedule."
"A schedule for what?" Kurt asks distractedly, looking between some magazine and the website he has pulled up.
"You know," Finn says, trying to think of the best way to put it. "For... private time."
Kurt doesn't look up. "Finn, I already told you, I don't want to talk about pooping. I'd prefer to just pretend that never happens, okay?"
"I'm not talking about pooping," Finn says, frustrated. "Gross, dude, I'm talking about... you know."
"I really don't," Kurt sighs, finally looking up at Finn. "Can't you just say what you actually mean? Use your words, Finn."
"I'm talking about jerking off," Finn says quickly. "There. That. Is what I'm talking about."
Kurt blinks very quickly, staring at Finn. "Excuse me?"
"I said I'm talking abou--"
"No. I heard you, but just-- no." Kurt's cheeks are starting to turn pink and Finn would feel bad except, hey, don't all guys talk about this? Not being treated any differently is what Kurt wants, anyway.
"Come on, Kurt," Finn says as Kurt pretends to be really interested in his magazine. His ears keep getting redder, though, so Finn thinks Kurt is actually listening to him. "We could just, you know, decide when each of us gets alone time in the room. To do whatever. You like making schedules, you told me--"
"Finn," Kurt finally snaps, "I don't do it, okay? I've never-- I just don't. I don't want to talk about this."
Finn raises his eyebrows. "You don't... Of course you do! I mean, I know you're gay and everything, but you're still a guy!"
Kurt very calmly gets up from his desk, walks across the room, and punches Finn in the arm. Finn supposes he deserved that.
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," Finn says as Kurt sits back down at his desk, rubbing his arm idly because that punch actually hurt. "Everyone does it."
"I don't, okay?" Kurt snaps. "I know it's hard for you to believe that I'm not some pervert who's jerking off to every guy in school, but I'm not, so just drop it, okay?"
"Yeah," Finn says. "Yeah, okay." He kind of feels like Kurt just punched him in the stomach instead of the arm, and he can't figure out why.
-
Finn tries to forget about it, tries to let it drop like Kurt asked, but he can't stop thinking about it, and it's starting to become a problem, because Kurt will be rolling his eyes at Finn while Finn begs him to make them grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and then suddenly Finn will just think, Kurt has never jerked off. Which almost makes him feel weird enough that he can't enjoy the grilled cheese that Kurt places in front of him a few minutes later. And that's saying a lot, because Kurt uses two kinds of cheese and he always toasts the bread just right.
It's not just when they're alone, either. A few days later they're all sitting around the dinner table, eating those awesome little mini-chickens and some kind of puffy pastry thing Finn can't pronounce, when Burt says, "So, Finn, Kurt says you've helping him out downstairs?" Finn nearly chokes on his milk.
"With the bookcase, Finn," Kurt says, rolling his eyes.
"Right," Finn says, swallowing. "Right, yeah, we got it done." It was some fancy bookcase from Ikea that Kurt had been huffing over for days, reading and rereading the instructions before throwing them over his shoulder dramatically and refusing to try anymore. Finn had noticed that the top of it was kind of at an odd angle yesterday and pounded at it with his fist until it popped into place. Kurt had called him an idiot savant, which Finn is pretty sure is better than just an idiot.
"I'm glad you two are getting along," Burt says with a nod and a pointed look. His mom pats his shoulder and smiles sweetly at Kurt, and Finn watches as Burt tries to cut at his tiny chicken with a knife before giving up and ripping one of the legs off with his hands while Kurt makes a disapproving noise. Finn fidgets nervously in his seat. With what Kurt said about the guys in school thinking he's a pervert, or whatever, Finn is starting to feel guiltier and guiltier, like he owes it to Kurt to help him work through this. And also Burt is kind of intimidating, and Finn thinks he's still a little mad about the basement thing, so helping Kurt out couldn't exactly hurt.
-
The problem, though, is that the more Finn lets himself think about Kurt's problem, the worse he starts to feel. He kind of can't believe that Kurt's never actually... how do you do that? Finn can't imagine going a week without jerking off, much less sixteen years. And all because Kurt was scared that doing it - doing something that everyone does - would make him into... well. Would make him into what everyone at school thought he was. What Finn had thought he was. He'd been so stupidly worried about moving in with Kurt, worried about Kurt looking, or maybe even trying to do things, and the whole time Kurt had been afraid to even think about it, much less do anything.
When he thinks back now, he realizes that all those times Kurt had looked at him, big-eyed and trusting and kind of sweet, and smiled at him, and sang to him, and given him advice, had all been Kurt actually caring about him, even when no one else had. It was making him feel like a giant asshole and it was messing with his head, and added to the fact that Kurt was already messing with his head, Finn's head has just become one big, messed up place full of confusing thoughts about Kurt jerking off.
And that's how he ends up awake at 3 A.M. a few days later, lying in the dark and listening as Kurt starts making the all too familiar whining sounds that mean Kurt's having a wet dream.
Finn takes a deep breath once he hears Kurt finish and walks over to Kurt's bed. He's trying to be all smooth and ninja-like about it, but he trips on his football helmet halfway there and starts to flail, hitting the end of Kurt's bed and falling to the floor with a loud thump. Kurt wakes up with a yelp, jumping out of the bed and managing to stand directly on Finn's hand in the process.
"Oww," Finn hisses, pulling his hand back and sitting up.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asks angrily. He still sounds groggy from sleep but he also looks kind of scared and it isn't making Finn feel like any less of an asshole.
"I was coming to talk to you," Finn says, grabbing onto the edge of Kurt's mattress and pulling himself up.
"Finn, it's the middle of the night, what on earth could you possibly..." Kurt trails off, and Finn watches as Kurt looks down at his pajama pants and winces, apparently only just noticing that there was a wet spot at the front. "No," Kurt says firmly, pushing at Finn's shoulder to try to make him get up.
"No, it's just, we should talk about this," Finn says. He thinks he's making progress, because Kurt stops pushing at his shoulder and climbs back into his bed, but then Kurt starts to kick Finn viciously in the side, not letting up until Finn stands up with a sigh.
"Go away," Kurt says sternly when Finn doesn't walk back to his own bed.
"Do you not know how?" Finn asks, ignoring Kurt. Most of the time not paying attention to Kurt only pisses him off more, but every once and a while it seems to shock him into actually giving in and listening.
"I said go away," Kurt says tightly. This was apparently not one of those times, then.
"No, I can show you," Finn says, trying to keep his voice even so Kurt won't realize how nervous Finn is. "We're brothers now, right? I can teach you how, it's not hard to learn. I got the hang of it in like a week and you know how long it took me to learn to use the TiVo."
"Finn, please go away," Kurt says, and he doesn't sound pissed anymore, he just sounds kind of sad. Sad and maybe a little embarrassed.
"Dude, why don't you want to?" Finn asks, taking a chance and sitting down on the edge of Kurt's bed again. Kurt doesn't kick him, but he won't look at Finn either. He's turned on his side and staring at the wall, his shoulders drawn up. "You can tell me," Finn says quietly. "I won't make fun of you or anything."
"Because, Finn," Kurt says, still staring at the wall. "Because everyone in this town - including yourself, I might add - has made it perfectly clear how not okay I am because of who I'm attracted to." Kurt's voice sounds thick and watery the way it does when he's crying, and Finn wants to reach out and pat him on the arm, or ruffle his hair, or something. "If I start giving in and... you know, doing that, it just makes everything everyone says about me true."
Finn doesn't know what to say, and his chest is starting to hurt as he looks at Kurt, drawn up on himself under the covers. Kurt looks so little, and Finn starts to feel even more guilty about thinking what he had, about ever being uncomfortable around Kurt just because he was gay, because Kurt had a crush. Finn hesitantly reaches his hand out and squeezes at Kurt's foot over the covers, because it's the closest thing to him.
"That's messed up," Finn says. "I know I've been kind of shitty, too, but that's-- that's so messed up, Kurt. You can... you should," Finn assures him. "No matter who you want to think about. Or what. I mean, you probably shouldn't think about, like, murder, or animals and stuff," Finn says quickly, but then he feels kind of shitty again, because the whole point is not to let what other people think keep Kurt from jerking off. Shit. "Unless you want to, I mean?" Finn says nervously. "I guess?"
"Thank you, Finn, now I'll never have an erection again. Excellent job," Kurt says, wiggling his foot out of Finn's grasp so he can stand up. Finn can see that his face is kind of wet, but he doesn't say anything as Kurt walks past him and heads for the bathroom.
Finn sits awkwardly on the edge of Kurt's bed for a few minutes, not sure if he should stay and talk to Kurt some more, but then he hears the shower start up in the bathroom and climbs back into his own bed, because he has to be up in three hours and he's kind of exhausted. He curls up under the blankets and falls asleep listening to Kurt's humming carry through the bathroom wall behind his bed.
-
Finn spends the next couple of weeks trying, in the least creepy way possible, to figure out if Kurt has started jerking off or not. Kurt's mostly been acting like the entire conversation didn't happen, and he's shut down all of Finn's attempts to bring up the schedule thing again.
Finn's heard Kurt a few times at night, but he's doing his best to ignore it, in case Kurt wants to, well, take care of it. Finn knows that Kurt has his reasons, but they're unfair, fucked up reasons that Finn can't stop feeling partially responsible for. Which is the only reason Finn's even still thinking about all this. It's like the bro code, and it's even more important now that Finn and Kurt are pretty much actual bros. Finn owes Kurt one, and he can't let him down, but Kurt isn't exactly making it easy.
It doesn't help that Kurt's avoiding him. Which is impressive, really, since Finn's been helping out at Burt's garage over the summer which means he and Kurt spend the majority of their day together before coming home and eating dinner together and watching TV together and going downstairs together and going to bed in the same room. Finn's not entirely sure how Kurt's doing it. It's like he'll start a conversation with Kurt with every intention of bringing something up, and then suddenly it's twenty minutes later and Finn's nodding along blankly while Kurt lectures him on the proper way to get stains out of his letter jacket.
Finn almost gets his chance after three weeks or so, when Kurt falls asleep against Finn's arm in the basement while they're watching a Top Chef marathon. One minute Finn's drooling over bacon wrapped chicken, and the next Kurt is starting to make soft, familiar noises against Finn's bicep, his hips twitching up under the blanket Finn threw over him. Finn freezes.
His first thought is to wake Kurt up, because that's the obvious answer and letting Kurt... do that would just make things really awkward and would probably be embarrassing for him. So Finn's totally going to wake him up, he is, but he can't help staring for a minute first. Kurt is warm where he's leaning into Finn's arm, still making those soft, breathy noises and shifting his hips up like it could actually be doing anything for him. Kurt's mouth is open, and his eyebrows are scrunched together, and Finn can't stop staring at the little circles Kurt is making with his hips. He starts when Kurt suddenly grabs onto his arm, going still with panic, but then he realizes Kurt is still asleep. Kurt's gripping at his arm, though, his fingers squeezing almost in rhythm with the movement of his hips and the touch doing weird things to Finn's stomach, and shit, Finn's got to wake him up, he has to, before this gets embarrassing for both of them.
"Kurt," he says quietly, nudging Kurt's forehead with his shoulder. Kurt lets out a low noise and tries to burrow closer, his hips jerking up, and Finn flushes when he realizes he can see the outline of Kurt's dick through his pants. "Kurt," he says again, louder, reaching out to shake Kurt by his shoulder. That does it, and Kurt jerks away, looking around frantically and breathing heavy.
"Finn?" he asks, sounding confused. "What's--"
"You should go... you know," Finn says awkwardly, gesturing to the bathroom. "Finish."
"Finish wh-- oh," Kurt says, blinking as he seems to realize that he's hard all of a sudden. "Oh Finn, shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean--"
"I know," Finn says. "Kurt, it's fine, why don't you just go and--"
"No," Kurt says hurriedly. "No, it's fine, I'm fine."
"Kurt," Finn says, reaching for his arm. Kurt's already standing up, though, keeping his back turned to Finn as he straightens his shirt. "Kurt, come on, it's okay, there's nothing to feel weird about."
"I said no," Kurt says tightly, his back still to Finn. "I apologize, again, but just let it drop, okay?"
Finn shuts up, because he knows enough about Kurt now to know when Kurt's not in the mood to be messed with, and he doesn't want to press his luck. He keeps his eyes trained on the TV as Kurt gathers up his pajamas and heads for the bathroom. Finn tries not to feel like a creep for being disappointed when Kurt comes out way too soon to have jerked off and done his super long face routine.
-
When Finn finally snaps, it's not even really intentional. He's half asleep and he wakes up to the sound of Kurt's soft moans, the sheets rustling as Kurt moves around in his sleep. Finn's still groggy and he'd been having a pretty weird dream about Kurt in the first place, and it's just kind of... the last straw. He can't listen to this again, not knowing why Kurt does it, why Kurt won't just give in and touch himself, and Finn's on his feet before he's even really made a decision to get up.
Finn stumbles over to Kurt's bed, still not thinking about anything but Kurt, and pushes at his shoulder until Kurt finally jerks awake, squinting up at Finn with dark, unfocused eyes. He's all sweaty and breathing hard and Finn ignores the way his stomach goes a little tight at that. It's weird, seeing Kurt like that, even after how many times it's been, but it's not-- it's not bad weird, not exactly.
"Dude, hey. Come on, Kurt, just-- go on, use your hand, okay?"
"Wha-- Finn, what are you. Go back to bed," Kurt finally mumbles, looking confused and sleepy, but Finn just rolls his eyes and pushes the blankets down where they're tenting over Kurt's lap. Kurt gasps, hips bucking, and Finn shrugs. He's still half-asleep, which is apparently enough that he doesn't try to talk himself out of this the way he's been doing for weeks now.
"See? Go on, I promise I'm not gonna judge you or whatever. It'll be better than waking up and ruining your pajamas."
Kurt squeezes his eyes shut and says, "Finn, I can't. I can't," he repeats, his voice hoarse, and Finn just sits down on the bed next to Kurt, stretching his legs out when Kurt scoots over with a weak protest.
"Look, no one else ever has to find out about this, okay?" And Finn thinks maybe that wasn't the right thing to say, but Kurt doesn't really seem to be paying attention anyway. "But we can-- at the same time, I mean, just in case. You don't know what you're doing."
"I can't," Kurt says one more time, his voice soft now, and Finn smiles crookedly at Kurt.
"Uh, yeah, you can. Come on." Finn can't believe he's actually doing this, but he licks his hand and reaches into his own boxers, grabbing his dick and starting to stroke slowly so that his fist moves the material up and down. He's not really hard, but it won't take him long to get there. "Hey, don't just make me the creep jerking off in your bed. You too."
"You're insane," Kurt breathes, but he's flushed and wide-eyed when he presses the heel of his palm to his own dick through his pajama pants, teeth digging into his lip and eyes sliding shut as he moans. It makes Finn flush, seeing Kurt like this, thinking about how good it must feel if he's really doing this for the first time, but it's for a good cause. He's helping Kurt out, like how Kurt's helped him out sometimes. No different from the couple of times he and Puck fooled around like this before they joined the football team and it got awkward.
"You can do it through your clothes if you want," Finn says, his voice coming out breathier now that he's really jerking off, mostly hard in his hand.
"I know how to-- to do it, I've just never--" Kurt starts, his face obviously red even in the dark of the room, and Finn rolls his eyes, because seriously?
"Yeah, well, you're kind of doing a sucky job right now," Finn says, scooting closer to Kurt until their legs touch and Kurt's whole body jerks, like Finn startled him. He glances over at Finn's lap and his mouth drops open a little, making Finn shift self-consciously. "Go on, we're already this far, there's no reason to be shy or whatever. Just--"
"Right. Okay, then, I'll just." Kurt doesn't finish, taking a deep breath and reaching into his pajamas and his underwear, his fingers circling around his own dick. He's already hard, obviously, and Finn can feel Kurt's whole body just kind of shudder as he leans back into the pillows and squeezes around his dick. His eyes are screwed up tight so Finn doesn't feel that weird about staring. He's trying to focus on Kurt's face and not on what his hand is doing, so it takes Finn a minute to realize that Kurt is still just squeezing at his dick. Which might be great and all, but is so not the point of jerking off.
"Dude, you kind of suck at this," Finn says, and Kurt's eyes fly open, staring at Finn kind of wildly. Finn has to stop and squeeze his own dick, because Kurt's looking at him super intensely and Finn's not used to anyone looking at him at all when he has his hand down his boxers.
"I just don't see why--"
"Kurt, seriously? Do you want me to help?" Finn starts to reach over with his free hand and Kurt gasps, jerking away quickly. Finn would be hurt except for how Kurt's hand is totally still on his dick and his eyes are wide now, the intense, dark look still there, somehow making Kurt look... hotter, sort of. Not that Finn thinks Kurt is hot, but the out-of-control look works for him. Finn's thinking about telling Kurt that, just to be nice, when Kurt speaks up.
"I'm doing fine on my own, please, just-- let me get used to it, okay? God, Finn, you're so weird," Kurt groans, tipping his head back into the pillows again, and Finn just shrugs. It's not like he's the one with the weird jerking off issues.
Kurt starts moving his hand up and down slowly, and Finn slows his hand down too because he has the tendency to not last long. He feels like he should say something, maybe make a joke because right now the only sound in the quiet of their room is the rustling of their hands under clothes and heavy breathing, but then Kurt freezes suddenly and says, "Don't look."
The first thing Finn does is look, duh, but there isn't much to see because Kurt yanks the sheets up over his lap and then wiggles around a lot until Finn realizes that Kurt's shimmying his pants and underwear down to his thighs. Kurt finally stops wiggling, reaching under the sheet to put his hand back over his dick, and the noise he makes when he slumps back against his pillows is kind of... dirty. Like, porno dirty.
"Okay then," Finn says stupidly, moving his hand over his dick again, and he spends just a second too long staring because he realizes, with the way Kurt's moving his hand, that either Kurt doesn't quite get the hang of jerking off or his dick is really long. Like, way bigger than Finn would've expected from how little Kurt is.
"This is pretty boring," Kurt says with a short laugh after another minute, thankfully pulling Finn out of his thoughts about Kurt's dick. "I guess I always thought--"
"Well, usually you're thinking about someone or something when you do it," Finn says a little defensively. "What were you dreaming about? Maybe you could--"
"No," Kurt says immediately, and Finn can definitely see the way Kurt's whole face, even his ears, goes red. "We're not talking about that."
"Oh c'mon, I promise I won't get freaked out," Finn says, his voice a little rougher because his hand is still moving over his dick. "I'm friends with Puck, remember? Believe me, I've heard worse, whatever you're going to say."
"Oh, gross," Kurt says breathlessly. "No, it's nothing... nothing Puck would like, and actually, please don't tell me anything about what Puck likes."
"Yeah, okay," Finn says, squeezing at the base of his dick so he can focus on what Kurt's saying. "Now tell me, please?"
"It wasn't even-- it was just making out."
"With who?" Finn asks, carefully not meeting Kurt's eyes.
"No one," Kurt says quickly, his voice cracking. "I mean, no one in particular," he says shakily. "Just someone-- someone bigger on top of me and kind of rubbing, I guess. Whatever, this is stupid, look, this whole thing is stupid, let's just--"
"No," Finn says quickly, swallowing and starting his hand back up again. "It's not stupid, man, making out is amazing," Finn turns his face toward Kurt when he sees Kurt's eyes flutter closed. "It feels-- like, really good," he says, watching as Kurt's hand starts to move faster under the sheet, and that maybe makes something hot twist low in Finn's stomach so he keeps talking. "It's really nice, kissing with someone on top of you. Everything feels all intense, right, and it's like you can feel everywhere you're touching. I mean, usually the girl's on top of me because I'm so big, or if I'm on top I have to hold myself up so I'm not, like, crushing her, but--" Kurt cuts him off with a rough noise, biting down on his lip as his eyes fly open to stare at Finn.
"Finn," he gasps out roughly, "just. Stop talking, okay?" Kurt says desperately, and Finn flushes when he realizes what he said.
"Oh, right," Finn says, looking away quickly. He wasn't trying to tease Kurt on purpose or anything - he knows it probably can't help to hear your former crush accidentally dirty talking you while you're jerking off. Which, now that Finn thinks about it - how has Kurt not come yet? Finn usually comes way faster than this and he jerks off all the time. Kurt has his eyes screwed shut and his head tilted back against the pillows, his hand moving fast and steady, and he's letting out a low whining noise that, now that Finn thinks about, doesn't exactly sound like a good kind of whine.
"It's okay," Finn says, his voice coming out way lower than he was expecting. "Kurt, it's okay. Trust me, man, you're not going to embarrass yourself. I'm-- yeah, I mean, this is more than impressive staying power, I promise."
"It's not that," Kurt bites out, his voice thin and frustrated. "I want to, it's just--" Finn waits, squeezing at the base of his dick and trying to think about anything but the way Kurt's mouth looks all swollen up and red from where he's been biting at his lips. "This is stupid," Kurt says after a second, his hand stilling on his dick under the covers. "This was a bad idea, okay, just... finish and go back to your bed." Kurt's eyes are still closed and Finn can see where they're a little wet at the corners, like Kurt might start to cry, and fuck, this is so unfair.
"No, it's not," Finn says, shifting until he's at an angle where he can keep his left hand on his dick and reach for Kurt's with his right. "It's not a bad idea, Kurt, okay, there's no reason for you to feel weird about jerking off. You should let-- can I?" he asks, dropping his hand hesitantly to Kurt's hip over the sheet. Kurt's eyes fly open and he looks at Finn with big, watery eyes.
"What are you doing?" he whispers roughly.
"Helping," Finn says, because he thought that was kind of obvious. "Can I? Please?"
"Finn," Kurt says, his voice all broken up and surprisingly deep. "You shouldn't-- you're not even--"
"That doesn't have anything to do with this," Finn says, squeezing at Kurt's hip. "I'm part of the reason you feel bad about this, so let me help you feel good, okay?" Finn's kind of scared this is going to be one more thing that makes sense in his head but no one understands once he says it out loud, but Kurt just nods, slowly, and pulls his hand out from under the sheet with a shaky breath.
Finn keeps watching Kurt's face as he reaches underneath the sheet, something hot twisting up inside him when his fingers brush over Kurt's bare skin. His thighs are really soft - like really soft - but then Kurt's clearing his throat and saying, "Please, Finn," and Finn doesn't feel anything except hot all over when his hand bumps into Kurt's dick, his fingers circling around it and making a fist.
Holy shit. Kurt really is huge. Or, well, probably not scary huge like in porn, but at least as big as Finn, long and kind of thick and a familiar enough weight in his hand that Finn isn't about to freak out about this. He starts to jerk Kurt off, slow as he tries to make the angle work without leaning all the way over Kurt, but he freezes when Kurt lets out a loud, shuddery gasp and grabs onto Finn's forearm, squeezing tightly.
"Uh, Kurt--"
"Don't stop," Kurt breathes out, still holding tightly, and Finn just nods, moving his hand over Kurt's dick again. Kurt's so red and breathing so hard, but his mouth is dropped open and he's shifting his hips up with Finn's hand, so Finn figures he's doing something right. He squeezes his hand lightly, lets his thumb brush up under the head of Kurt's dick just to try something, and that's it, Kurt's clinging to Finn's arm and his breath is hitching loudly and he's coming, wet and sudden over Finn's hand.
"Oh my god, oh my god," Kurt pants, collapsing back into the pillows, and Finn figures that's his cue to let go of Kurt's dick. Kurt kind of looks like he's in shock, so Finn hopes Kurt doesn't mind when Finn finally stops squeezing at his own dick and strokes himself a couple of times with his left hand. It barely takes three strokes before Finn's coming, hard, biting at his own lip to keep quiet. He doesn't realize he's had his eyes on Kurt the entire time until Kurt blinks his eyes open, and Finn flushes, letting go of his dick.
"Um," Kurt says, squirming away from Finn. Finn hadn't even realized they were still pressed so close.
"Was that... good?" he asks, looking at Kurt carefully and trying to figure out what he's thinking.
"I-- yeah," Kurt says, swallowing when his voice comes out rough. "Yeah. That was really good."
"Awesome," Finn says, smiling happily and holding his hand up for a high five.
"Finn," Kurt says, staring at him like this is somehow a bigger deal than the fact that Finn just jerked him off. "What are you doing."
"High five," Finn says, wiggling his hand in the air. "You know, for a job well done and stuff."
"Your hand is still covered in my... stuff," Kurt hisses, flushing, and Finn looks over and winces, because oh. Yeah.
"Oops," Finn says, hurriedly wiping his hand off on his shirt. He must have wiped his left hand off on his boxers out of habit, because that one seems relatively clean already. He holds his hand back up once the worst of Kurt's come is gone, and he's met with the exact same response.
"We are not high-fiving," Kurt says. "Go back to your bed so I can put my pants on and go wash my hands, which is apparently a foreign concept to you."
"You can't just leave me hanging," Finn says, because what the hell. They just, like... bonded. He's got so much to teach Kurt about being a bro.
"Oh for goodness sake," Kurt sighs, leaning over and slapping at Finn's hand with his. "There," he says, pushing at Finn's shoulder once he's done. "Are you happy now?"
"Yep," Finn says, untangling himself from Kurt's sheets and stumbling over to his own bed, collapsing on the mattress. He can hear Kurt's sheets rustling, but he's too far away now to make much out in the dark, and he kind of misses it, strangely, being close to Kurt. Finn shakes his head at himself as Kurt gets up and heads for the bathroom, and he closes his eyes with a sigh when he hears the sink turn on. Finn should probably feel weirder about the fact that he just jerked Kurt off, but mostly he just feels kind of warm and happy and sleepy. He helped Kurt out, and now Kurt knows that it's okay, that he doesn't have to feel weird about jerking off. Finn's a pretty awesome brother, and he's grinning to himself as the sink cuts off and the bathroom door opens.
Finn looks over, and Kurt's standing in the bathroom doorway, looking at Finn with his head tilted to the side. It kind of reminds Finn of how Kurt used to look at him sometimes in class, sweet and open, and Finn's chest starts to feel tight in a weird way as Kurt shakes his head and turns off the bathroom light. Finn's tempted to reach out and grab Kurt's wrist as he walks by on his way to bed, just to tell him... something. Goodnight, maybe. Or that he's proud of him, but Kurt might take that the wrong way. He ends up not having to make a decision because Kurt stops on his own, reaching out to pat at Finn's shoulder hesitantly.
"Thanks," Kurt says quietly, squeezing at Finn's shoulder.
"Sure thing, Kurt," Finn says. He wants to reach up and cover Kurt's hand with his own, but Kurt just washed his hands and would probably get pissed, so Finn just smiles at him instead. "Anytime," he says, flushing when Kurt raises an eyebrow at him and he realizes what that sounds like. "Well, you know, I mean. Not like. Not like any time, just. Whatever," Finn says quickly.
"Goodnight, Finn," Kurt says with a smile and one last squeeze at Finn's shoulder.
"Yeah," Finn says, watching as Kurt climbs into his bed and settles in against the pillows. "Yeah. Goodnight."
-
Finn is extremely confused the next morning when he wakes up to Burt shouting down the stairs at them.
"Guess I'm going to work by myself, then!" he yells down the basement steps. "Maybe I'll pick up some of those stray cats behind the laundromat on the way to work, see if they want a job. They'd probably be about as useful!"
Finn takes a second to sleepily laugh at the image of a cat in tiny overalls, but then he realizes that it's a Saturday, and Burt doesn't go in until 11 on Saturdays, and holy shit. He majorly overslept, and Kurt must not have woken him up since-- whoa. Finn blinks over at Kurt's bed, where Kurt is rolling over onto his back with a groan and rubbing at his eyes. Finn has never seen Kurt sleep past 9 in the entire time he's lived here.
"Dude," Finn says, his voice rough from sleep. "You're still asleep."
"No, actually," Kurt groans, rubbing his face into his pillow. "I'm awake now, seeing as how I'm talking to you."
"Is Burt pissed?" Finn asks, because he actually really likes working at the garage and Burt pays way better than what Finn made busing tables, and he doesn't even have to be in a wheelchair.
"Nah, he'll be fine, he has full staff on Saturday," Kurt says, sitting up with a groan. "Are you going to shower, or can I get in there?"
"Nah, I'm good for another day or two," Finn yawns.
"You're disgusting," Kurt says, glaring at him the way he does when he's judging Finn for something.
Finn shrugs and plops back down against his pillows, dozing on and off while Kurt sings that Titanic song in the shower.
-
Things don't seem awkward later, and Finn was kind of worried things would be awkward. Kurt's bustling around the way he usually does, doing his morning face stuff while Finn brushes his teeth and washes up and gets dressed, and everything seems normal except for the fact that Kurt seems to be in a pretty good mood, relaxed and humming to himself. Finn smiles to himself, because he did that. He's, like, changed Kurt's life and stuff, and he's totally getting the hang of being a brother. Not that he thinks brothers jerk each other off, but it's not like Kurt's his real brother, and Kurt was his friend before he was his brother, and friends help each other out. It's no different from when he did it with Puck those few times. Even if this time it kind of felt different. Like, way different. Maybe Finn should stick to thinking of it as a brother thing, actually, when he realizes he's been staring at Kurt's hands for the past few minutes while Kurt does his hair. Right. Totally just a brother thing. That's not weird at all.
"Do you want breakfast?" Finn asks as Kurt combs his hair up and sprays it, because his stomach just growled and it seems like the safest thing to say right now.
"Yes," Kurt says immediately. "I'm actually kind of starving."
"Awesome," Finn says. "Can we have pancakes?"
Kurt rolls his eyes at Finn in the mirror, but he's smiling while he does it, and Finn's pretty sure that jerking Kurt off is the best decision he's ever made. Only he accidentally says that out loud, too, before realizing that's probably not a good idea.
Kurt freezes, dropping his comb and scrambling to pick it up. "What?"
"Uh, nothing?" Finn tries, but Kurt's already turning red.
"Finn, we-- I mean, you don't have to--" Kurt tries to stutter out, but Finn interrupts him.
"Listen, Kurt, it's-- this isn't something we have to feel bad or weird about, okay? It wasn't-- I like you. I wanted to." Finn's blushing too now, but whatever, it's probably just because Kurt's blushing. Or something. Like how you yawn when someone else yawns.
"Okay," Kurt says, still looking down at the top of his vanity.
"I mean, was it-- are you okay?" Finn asks, starting to feel nervous. Shit. This is why Finn seriously doesn't get the whole talking about your feelings thing. What if he just made things worse, or what if he made Kurt feel bad and now things are going to be weird and--
"Finn, stop freaking out," Kurt says, looking up and smiling at him softly. "I'm okay. I'm more than okay, actually. As long as you don't feel weird about it, then I don't feel weird about it. I liked it," Kurt finishes quietly. "It was kind of..."
"Awesome," Finn finishes for him when he trails off. "I'm pretty great at handjobs, I guess."
"Yes, well, you've clearly had enough practice," Kurt says, rolling his eyes, and just like that, everything feels okay again. Kurt's making fun of him and dabbing weird creams on his face, and Kurt liked it when Finn jerked him off, but it doesn't mean things have to get weird. Besides, he made Kurt happy, which was kind of the point, and now Kurt's going to make them pancakes. Finn's hoping that if he asks for chocolate chips, Kurt will make his special. Finn has definitely had worse days.
Author: skintightsocks
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Word Count: 7,800+
Summary: Finn tries to forget about it, tries to let it drop like Kurt asked, but he can't stop thinking about it, and it's starting to become a problem because Kurt will be rolling his eyes at Finn while Finn begs him to make them grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and then suddenly Finn will just think, Kurt has never jerked off.
Spoilers: None (takes place during the summer between s1 and s2)
Warnings: Sex between two characters who are under 18, but of the age of consent.
Author Notes: Title is from the song "Dream On" by Aerosmith. We decided we should write some short, friendly jerking off between almost step-brothers because we were so blocked on both Kurt/Blaine sex pollen fic and Kurt/Blaine/Finn faily threesome fic, and then it turned into nearly 8k of step-brotherly angst with dicks. But hey, we finished something! :D!
It's weird, living with another dude. And not just because it's Kurt, even though that makes it extra weird, and the whole blow up with Burt that happened a few months earlier makes it extra extra weird, but on top of all that extra weirdness, it's just weird in general because all of a sudden Finn has to think about everything.
Apparently it's not okay to throw his socks on the floor, or leave his wet towels in the bathroom, or his dirty dishes on his desk, or jerk off in his own damn bed. In Finn's defense, Kurt wouldn't have known about that last one if he hadn't just barged down the basement stairs without warning Finn. And Finn knew Kurt was different - like, obviously - but man. Kurt is really different. He showers every day and he gets up when his alarm clock goes off and he cooks, and he does his own laundry, and he's basically like this mini-grown up. It kind of freaks Finn out.
He doesn't do gross boy stuff, either, as far as Finn can tell. Stuff like burping and farting and talking about sex non-stop. Finn thought that last one might just be because Kurt wasn't into girls, but the one time Finn took a poll and learned that the girls in glee club all had a crush on Johnny Depp and Finn tried to bring up how hot he was with Kurt, Kurt had just looked at him for a really long time and then walked out of the room. Maybe Kurt just didn't like Johnny Depp. Another time Finn tried to talk about a few football players, because he knows Kurt likes football players because of how Kurt liked him, but Kurt just rolled his eyes and left again.
Finn had shrugged it off, at first, figuring Kurt just didn't want to talk about that kind of stuff for the obvious reasons, but a few months after he moves in his mom makes some totally inappropriate joke at the dinner table about how she wishes Kurt would let her do his laundry instead of Finn's, because she's seen his sheets and they're never stained. Finn blushes and hisses, "Mom," and Burt snorts out a laugh, but Kurt just looks kind of... sick, almost, even though he's smiling politely. Finn knows Kurt can be sensitive about stuff, so he rolls his eyes and tells his mom to knock it off, because he's getting kind of awesome at this brother stuff.
Then his iPod breaks, and everything gets turned on its head. Finn's gotten used to falling asleep with his earbuds in, listening to Air Supply's greatest hits on repeat, because Kurt uses some weird white noise machine with ocean sounds that make Finn have to pee. With the music on, he pretty much falls asleep immediately and then wakes up when Kurt inevitably throws something at him because he slept through his alarm. The first night without his iPod is miserable. Finn tries to find his old discman, but then he remembers that he traded it to Puck in 7th grade for a porn mag that ended up not even having that many boobs in it. He breaks down on the second night and begs Kurt to turn off the noise machine, explaining that unless Kurt wants to be woken up like six times by Finn running to the bathroom, it's the only compromise until Finn can afford to replace his iPod. Kurt seems weirdly reluctant to agree, but he finally gives in and everything goes fine, for the most part, until the third night of sleeping without any kind of noise in the room. That's the night that Finn wakes up to Kurt whining in his sleep.
Finn ignores it for a few minutes, because unless Kurt is talking in his sleep and saying something hilarious, there's nothing really weird about making noises when you sleep. But the whines get louder, turning into unmistakable moans, and maybe Kurt's having a really bad nightmare and Finn is supposed to wake him up.
Except when Finn looks over, Kurt is lying down on his stomach, his hips shifting against the bed and Finn can't pretend that Kurt's distressed or whatever anymore because he is totally having a wet dream. And Finn can't look away, which is just weird. He feels kind of creepy, but Kurt's just making these noises, all desperate and high-pitched and his hips are rolling against the bed and Finn's going to look away, he really is, but then Kurt lets out a shockingly low, rough noise and his whole body jerks forward against the mattress. He totally just came. Kurt totally just came and Finn totally just watched Kurt come and Finn's still staring, open-mouthed, when Kurt relaxes back against his pillows with a pleased sounding noise.
Holy shit.
-
Finn decides the best course of action is definitely to try and forget it ever happened. He's had wet dreams since moving into the basement with Kurt too, it's not that weird. They're teenage boys, it's gonna happen. Maybe it was a little weird of Finn to actively watch Kurt, but whatever. Finn can totally forget about this. He forgets tons of stuff without even trying, this will be no sweat.
Except for how every night after that, when Finn tries to sleep he just ends up staring up at the ceiling in the dark, listening to Kurt's slow, even breathing until one of two things happens. Sometimes, Finn falls asleep. But then other times, he listens and listens and listens until he hears Kurt's breath start to hitch, hears him start to whine, and then Finn watches like a great big creepy creep as Kurt rubs off on his bed desperately until he comes and then settles back into sleep with a happy sigh.
It kind of happens a lot. Twice that first week, and then three times the week after that, and it's turning into a problem because now that Finn knows, he can't not know, and he's hardly sleeping and he has really, really got to stop thinking about this. He shouldn't care about how Kurt gets off even if it's rubbing off in his bed while he's asleep.
He shouldn't care, but the more he thinks about it, the more he does care. Maybe Finn isn't giving Kurt enough space so that Kurt feels like he can jerk off when he's awake. He's at summer training camp a lot and sometimes he stays upstairs to watch TV with Burt, and Kurt's always getting up super early to shower before Finn. Finn had just kind of assumed Kurt was doing it in the shower, like Finn does, but now it makes more sense. That must be why Kurt's always doing laundry too, and he why won't let Finn's mom take care of it for him. Finn feels bad that Kurt's been living, like, this entire secret life all because of his wet dreams.
So Finn tries to give Kurt even more space. He starts camping out upstairs, pretending he's interested in Burt's old car magazines so he has an excuse to be up there. He even helps his mom cook once or twice, although once Burt bites into the meatloaf and finds some egg shell, she bans Finn from the kitchen. It doesn't seem to work, though, because Kurt keeps having the dreams and Finn keeps listening to him like a creeper, and Kurt's still getting up an hour early just to shower and wash his sheets.
Plus, Finn secretly thinks it might be contagious or something. That's the only explanation for why he's started to wake up gasping and sweaty and about a second away from coming, his head all confused and thinking about Kurt and-- Finn has really, really got to think of a way to fix this entire weird mess of a situation, before things get any weirder.
-
"So I was thinking," Finn says one night a few days later, "that maybe I could make us a schedule."
"A schedule for what?" Kurt asks distractedly, looking between some magazine and the website he has pulled up.
"You know," Finn says, trying to think of the best way to put it. "For... private time."
Kurt doesn't look up. "Finn, I already told you, I don't want to talk about pooping. I'd prefer to just pretend that never happens, okay?"
"I'm not talking about pooping," Finn says, frustrated. "Gross, dude, I'm talking about... you know."
"I really don't," Kurt sighs, finally looking up at Finn. "Can't you just say what you actually mean? Use your words, Finn."
"I'm talking about jerking off," Finn says quickly. "There. That. Is what I'm talking about."
Kurt blinks very quickly, staring at Finn. "Excuse me?"
"I said I'm talking abou--"
"No. I heard you, but just-- no." Kurt's cheeks are starting to turn pink and Finn would feel bad except, hey, don't all guys talk about this? Not being treated any differently is what Kurt wants, anyway.
"Come on, Kurt," Finn says as Kurt pretends to be really interested in his magazine. His ears keep getting redder, though, so Finn thinks Kurt is actually listening to him. "We could just, you know, decide when each of us gets alone time in the room. To do whatever. You like making schedules, you told me--"
"Finn," Kurt finally snaps, "I don't do it, okay? I've never-- I just don't. I don't want to talk about this."
Finn raises his eyebrows. "You don't... Of course you do! I mean, I know you're gay and everything, but you're still a guy!"
Kurt very calmly gets up from his desk, walks across the room, and punches Finn in the arm. Finn supposes he deserved that.
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," Finn says as Kurt sits back down at his desk, rubbing his arm idly because that punch actually hurt. "Everyone does it."
"I don't, okay?" Kurt snaps. "I know it's hard for you to believe that I'm not some pervert who's jerking off to every guy in school, but I'm not, so just drop it, okay?"
"Yeah," Finn says. "Yeah, okay." He kind of feels like Kurt just punched him in the stomach instead of the arm, and he can't figure out why.
-
Finn tries to forget about it, tries to let it drop like Kurt asked, but he can't stop thinking about it, and it's starting to become a problem, because Kurt will be rolling his eyes at Finn while Finn begs him to make them grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and then suddenly Finn will just think, Kurt has never jerked off. Which almost makes him feel weird enough that he can't enjoy the grilled cheese that Kurt places in front of him a few minutes later. And that's saying a lot, because Kurt uses two kinds of cheese and he always toasts the bread just right.
It's not just when they're alone, either. A few days later they're all sitting around the dinner table, eating those awesome little mini-chickens and some kind of puffy pastry thing Finn can't pronounce, when Burt says, "So, Finn, Kurt says you've helping him out downstairs?" Finn nearly chokes on his milk.
"With the bookcase, Finn," Kurt says, rolling his eyes.
"Right," Finn says, swallowing. "Right, yeah, we got it done." It was some fancy bookcase from Ikea that Kurt had been huffing over for days, reading and rereading the instructions before throwing them over his shoulder dramatically and refusing to try anymore. Finn had noticed that the top of it was kind of at an odd angle yesterday and pounded at it with his fist until it popped into place. Kurt had called him an idiot savant, which Finn is pretty sure is better than just an idiot.
"I'm glad you two are getting along," Burt says with a nod and a pointed look. His mom pats his shoulder and smiles sweetly at Kurt, and Finn watches as Burt tries to cut at his tiny chicken with a knife before giving up and ripping one of the legs off with his hands while Kurt makes a disapproving noise. Finn fidgets nervously in his seat. With what Kurt said about the guys in school thinking he's a pervert, or whatever, Finn is starting to feel guiltier and guiltier, like he owes it to Kurt to help him work through this. And also Burt is kind of intimidating, and Finn thinks he's still a little mad about the basement thing, so helping Kurt out couldn't exactly hurt.
-
The problem, though, is that the more Finn lets himself think about Kurt's problem, the worse he starts to feel. He kind of can't believe that Kurt's never actually... how do you do that? Finn can't imagine going a week without jerking off, much less sixteen years. And all because Kurt was scared that doing it - doing something that everyone does - would make him into... well. Would make him into what everyone at school thought he was. What Finn had thought he was. He'd been so stupidly worried about moving in with Kurt, worried about Kurt looking, or maybe even trying to do things, and the whole time Kurt had been afraid to even think about it, much less do anything.
When he thinks back now, he realizes that all those times Kurt had looked at him, big-eyed and trusting and kind of sweet, and smiled at him, and sang to him, and given him advice, had all been Kurt actually caring about him, even when no one else had. It was making him feel like a giant asshole and it was messing with his head, and added to the fact that Kurt was already messing with his head, Finn's head has just become one big, messed up place full of confusing thoughts about Kurt jerking off.
And that's how he ends up awake at 3 A.M. a few days later, lying in the dark and listening as Kurt starts making the all too familiar whining sounds that mean Kurt's having a wet dream.
Finn takes a deep breath once he hears Kurt finish and walks over to Kurt's bed. He's trying to be all smooth and ninja-like about it, but he trips on his football helmet halfway there and starts to flail, hitting the end of Kurt's bed and falling to the floor with a loud thump. Kurt wakes up with a yelp, jumping out of the bed and managing to stand directly on Finn's hand in the process.
"Oww," Finn hisses, pulling his hand back and sitting up.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asks angrily. He still sounds groggy from sleep but he also looks kind of scared and it isn't making Finn feel like any less of an asshole.
"I was coming to talk to you," Finn says, grabbing onto the edge of Kurt's mattress and pulling himself up.
"Finn, it's the middle of the night, what on earth could you possibly..." Kurt trails off, and Finn watches as Kurt looks down at his pajama pants and winces, apparently only just noticing that there was a wet spot at the front. "No," Kurt says firmly, pushing at Finn's shoulder to try to make him get up.
"No, it's just, we should talk about this," Finn says. He thinks he's making progress, because Kurt stops pushing at his shoulder and climbs back into his bed, but then Kurt starts to kick Finn viciously in the side, not letting up until Finn stands up with a sigh.
"Go away," Kurt says sternly when Finn doesn't walk back to his own bed.
"Do you not know how?" Finn asks, ignoring Kurt. Most of the time not paying attention to Kurt only pisses him off more, but every once and a while it seems to shock him into actually giving in and listening.
"I said go away," Kurt says tightly. This was apparently not one of those times, then.
"No, I can show you," Finn says, trying to keep his voice even so Kurt won't realize how nervous Finn is. "We're brothers now, right? I can teach you how, it's not hard to learn. I got the hang of it in like a week and you know how long it took me to learn to use the TiVo."
"Finn, please go away," Kurt says, and he doesn't sound pissed anymore, he just sounds kind of sad. Sad and maybe a little embarrassed.
"Dude, why don't you want to?" Finn asks, taking a chance and sitting down on the edge of Kurt's bed again. Kurt doesn't kick him, but he won't look at Finn either. He's turned on his side and staring at the wall, his shoulders drawn up. "You can tell me," Finn says quietly. "I won't make fun of you or anything."
"Because, Finn," Kurt says, still staring at the wall. "Because everyone in this town - including yourself, I might add - has made it perfectly clear how not okay I am because of who I'm attracted to." Kurt's voice sounds thick and watery the way it does when he's crying, and Finn wants to reach out and pat him on the arm, or ruffle his hair, or something. "If I start giving in and... you know, doing that, it just makes everything everyone says about me true."
Finn doesn't know what to say, and his chest is starting to hurt as he looks at Kurt, drawn up on himself under the covers. Kurt looks so little, and Finn starts to feel even more guilty about thinking what he had, about ever being uncomfortable around Kurt just because he was gay, because Kurt had a crush. Finn hesitantly reaches his hand out and squeezes at Kurt's foot over the covers, because it's the closest thing to him.
"That's messed up," Finn says. "I know I've been kind of shitty, too, but that's-- that's so messed up, Kurt. You can... you should," Finn assures him. "No matter who you want to think about. Or what. I mean, you probably shouldn't think about, like, murder, or animals and stuff," Finn says quickly, but then he feels kind of shitty again, because the whole point is not to let what other people think keep Kurt from jerking off. Shit. "Unless you want to, I mean?" Finn says nervously. "I guess?"
"Thank you, Finn, now I'll never have an erection again. Excellent job," Kurt says, wiggling his foot out of Finn's grasp so he can stand up. Finn can see that his face is kind of wet, but he doesn't say anything as Kurt walks past him and heads for the bathroom.
Finn sits awkwardly on the edge of Kurt's bed for a few minutes, not sure if he should stay and talk to Kurt some more, but then he hears the shower start up in the bathroom and climbs back into his own bed, because he has to be up in three hours and he's kind of exhausted. He curls up under the blankets and falls asleep listening to Kurt's humming carry through the bathroom wall behind his bed.
-
Finn spends the next couple of weeks trying, in the least creepy way possible, to figure out if Kurt has started jerking off or not. Kurt's mostly been acting like the entire conversation didn't happen, and he's shut down all of Finn's attempts to bring up the schedule thing again.
Finn's heard Kurt a few times at night, but he's doing his best to ignore it, in case Kurt wants to, well, take care of it. Finn knows that Kurt has his reasons, but they're unfair, fucked up reasons that Finn can't stop feeling partially responsible for. Which is the only reason Finn's even still thinking about all this. It's like the bro code, and it's even more important now that Finn and Kurt are pretty much actual bros. Finn owes Kurt one, and he can't let him down, but Kurt isn't exactly making it easy.
It doesn't help that Kurt's avoiding him. Which is impressive, really, since Finn's been helping out at Burt's garage over the summer which means he and Kurt spend the majority of their day together before coming home and eating dinner together and watching TV together and going downstairs together and going to bed in the same room. Finn's not entirely sure how Kurt's doing it. It's like he'll start a conversation with Kurt with every intention of bringing something up, and then suddenly it's twenty minutes later and Finn's nodding along blankly while Kurt lectures him on the proper way to get stains out of his letter jacket.
Finn almost gets his chance after three weeks or so, when Kurt falls asleep against Finn's arm in the basement while they're watching a Top Chef marathon. One minute Finn's drooling over bacon wrapped chicken, and the next Kurt is starting to make soft, familiar noises against Finn's bicep, his hips twitching up under the blanket Finn threw over him. Finn freezes.
His first thought is to wake Kurt up, because that's the obvious answer and letting Kurt... do that would just make things really awkward and would probably be embarrassing for him. So Finn's totally going to wake him up, he is, but he can't help staring for a minute first. Kurt is warm where he's leaning into Finn's arm, still making those soft, breathy noises and shifting his hips up like it could actually be doing anything for him. Kurt's mouth is open, and his eyebrows are scrunched together, and Finn can't stop staring at the little circles Kurt is making with his hips. He starts when Kurt suddenly grabs onto his arm, going still with panic, but then he realizes Kurt is still asleep. Kurt's gripping at his arm, though, his fingers squeezing almost in rhythm with the movement of his hips and the touch doing weird things to Finn's stomach, and shit, Finn's got to wake him up, he has to, before this gets embarrassing for both of them.
"Kurt," he says quietly, nudging Kurt's forehead with his shoulder. Kurt lets out a low noise and tries to burrow closer, his hips jerking up, and Finn flushes when he realizes he can see the outline of Kurt's dick through his pants. "Kurt," he says again, louder, reaching out to shake Kurt by his shoulder. That does it, and Kurt jerks away, looking around frantically and breathing heavy.
"Finn?" he asks, sounding confused. "What's--"
"You should go... you know," Finn says awkwardly, gesturing to the bathroom. "Finish."
"Finish wh-- oh," Kurt says, blinking as he seems to realize that he's hard all of a sudden. "Oh Finn, shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean--"
"I know," Finn says. "Kurt, it's fine, why don't you just go and--"
"No," Kurt says hurriedly. "No, it's fine, I'm fine."
"Kurt," Finn says, reaching for his arm. Kurt's already standing up, though, keeping his back turned to Finn as he straightens his shirt. "Kurt, come on, it's okay, there's nothing to feel weird about."
"I said no," Kurt says tightly, his back still to Finn. "I apologize, again, but just let it drop, okay?"
Finn shuts up, because he knows enough about Kurt now to know when Kurt's not in the mood to be messed with, and he doesn't want to press his luck. He keeps his eyes trained on the TV as Kurt gathers up his pajamas and heads for the bathroom. Finn tries not to feel like a creep for being disappointed when Kurt comes out way too soon to have jerked off and done his super long face routine.
-
When Finn finally snaps, it's not even really intentional. He's half asleep and he wakes up to the sound of Kurt's soft moans, the sheets rustling as Kurt moves around in his sleep. Finn's still groggy and he'd been having a pretty weird dream about Kurt in the first place, and it's just kind of... the last straw. He can't listen to this again, not knowing why Kurt does it, why Kurt won't just give in and touch himself, and Finn's on his feet before he's even really made a decision to get up.
Finn stumbles over to Kurt's bed, still not thinking about anything but Kurt, and pushes at his shoulder until Kurt finally jerks awake, squinting up at Finn with dark, unfocused eyes. He's all sweaty and breathing hard and Finn ignores the way his stomach goes a little tight at that. It's weird, seeing Kurt like that, even after how many times it's been, but it's not-- it's not bad weird, not exactly.
"Dude, hey. Come on, Kurt, just-- go on, use your hand, okay?"
"Wha-- Finn, what are you. Go back to bed," Kurt finally mumbles, looking confused and sleepy, but Finn just rolls his eyes and pushes the blankets down where they're tenting over Kurt's lap. Kurt gasps, hips bucking, and Finn shrugs. He's still half-asleep, which is apparently enough that he doesn't try to talk himself out of this the way he's been doing for weeks now.
"See? Go on, I promise I'm not gonna judge you or whatever. It'll be better than waking up and ruining your pajamas."
Kurt squeezes his eyes shut and says, "Finn, I can't. I can't," he repeats, his voice hoarse, and Finn just sits down on the bed next to Kurt, stretching his legs out when Kurt scoots over with a weak protest.
"Look, no one else ever has to find out about this, okay?" And Finn thinks maybe that wasn't the right thing to say, but Kurt doesn't really seem to be paying attention anyway. "But we can-- at the same time, I mean, just in case. You don't know what you're doing."
"I can't," Kurt says one more time, his voice soft now, and Finn smiles crookedly at Kurt.
"Uh, yeah, you can. Come on." Finn can't believe he's actually doing this, but he licks his hand and reaches into his own boxers, grabbing his dick and starting to stroke slowly so that his fist moves the material up and down. He's not really hard, but it won't take him long to get there. "Hey, don't just make me the creep jerking off in your bed. You too."
"You're insane," Kurt breathes, but he's flushed and wide-eyed when he presses the heel of his palm to his own dick through his pajama pants, teeth digging into his lip and eyes sliding shut as he moans. It makes Finn flush, seeing Kurt like this, thinking about how good it must feel if he's really doing this for the first time, but it's for a good cause. He's helping Kurt out, like how Kurt's helped him out sometimes. No different from the couple of times he and Puck fooled around like this before they joined the football team and it got awkward.
"You can do it through your clothes if you want," Finn says, his voice coming out breathier now that he's really jerking off, mostly hard in his hand.
"I know how to-- to do it, I've just never--" Kurt starts, his face obviously red even in the dark of the room, and Finn rolls his eyes, because seriously?
"Yeah, well, you're kind of doing a sucky job right now," Finn says, scooting closer to Kurt until their legs touch and Kurt's whole body jerks, like Finn startled him. He glances over at Finn's lap and his mouth drops open a little, making Finn shift self-consciously. "Go on, we're already this far, there's no reason to be shy or whatever. Just--"
"Right. Okay, then, I'll just." Kurt doesn't finish, taking a deep breath and reaching into his pajamas and his underwear, his fingers circling around his own dick. He's already hard, obviously, and Finn can feel Kurt's whole body just kind of shudder as he leans back into the pillows and squeezes around his dick. His eyes are screwed up tight so Finn doesn't feel that weird about staring. He's trying to focus on Kurt's face and not on what his hand is doing, so it takes Finn a minute to realize that Kurt is still just squeezing at his dick. Which might be great and all, but is so not the point of jerking off.
"Dude, you kind of suck at this," Finn says, and Kurt's eyes fly open, staring at Finn kind of wildly. Finn has to stop and squeeze his own dick, because Kurt's looking at him super intensely and Finn's not used to anyone looking at him at all when he has his hand down his boxers.
"I just don't see why--"
"Kurt, seriously? Do you want me to help?" Finn starts to reach over with his free hand and Kurt gasps, jerking away quickly. Finn would be hurt except for how Kurt's hand is totally still on his dick and his eyes are wide now, the intense, dark look still there, somehow making Kurt look... hotter, sort of. Not that Finn thinks Kurt is hot, but the out-of-control look works for him. Finn's thinking about telling Kurt that, just to be nice, when Kurt speaks up.
"I'm doing fine on my own, please, just-- let me get used to it, okay? God, Finn, you're so weird," Kurt groans, tipping his head back into the pillows again, and Finn just shrugs. It's not like he's the one with the weird jerking off issues.
Kurt starts moving his hand up and down slowly, and Finn slows his hand down too because he has the tendency to not last long. He feels like he should say something, maybe make a joke because right now the only sound in the quiet of their room is the rustling of their hands under clothes and heavy breathing, but then Kurt freezes suddenly and says, "Don't look."
The first thing Finn does is look, duh, but there isn't much to see because Kurt yanks the sheets up over his lap and then wiggles around a lot until Finn realizes that Kurt's shimmying his pants and underwear down to his thighs. Kurt finally stops wiggling, reaching under the sheet to put his hand back over his dick, and the noise he makes when he slumps back against his pillows is kind of... dirty. Like, porno dirty.
"Okay then," Finn says stupidly, moving his hand over his dick again, and he spends just a second too long staring because he realizes, with the way Kurt's moving his hand, that either Kurt doesn't quite get the hang of jerking off or his dick is really long. Like, way bigger than Finn would've expected from how little Kurt is.
"This is pretty boring," Kurt says with a short laugh after another minute, thankfully pulling Finn out of his thoughts about Kurt's dick. "I guess I always thought--"
"Well, usually you're thinking about someone or something when you do it," Finn says a little defensively. "What were you dreaming about? Maybe you could--"
"No," Kurt says immediately, and Finn can definitely see the way Kurt's whole face, even his ears, goes red. "We're not talking about that."
"Oh c'mon, I promise I won't get freaked out," Finn says, his voice a little rougher because his hand is still moving over his dick. "I'm friends with Puck, remember? Believe me, I've heard worse, whatever you're going to say."
"Oh, gross," Kurt says breathlessly. "No, it's nothing... nothing Puck would like, and actually, please don't tell me anything about what Puck likes."
"Yeah, okay," Finn says, squeezing at the base of his dick so he can focus on what Kurt's saying. "Now tell me, please?"
"It wasn't even-- it was just making out."
"With who?" Finn asks, carefully not meeting Kurt's eyes.
"No one," Kurt says quickly, his voice cracking. "I mean, no one in particular," he says shakily. "Just someone-- someone bigger on top of me and kind of rubbing, I guess. Whatever, this is stupid, look, this whole thing is stupid, let's just--"
"No," Finn says quickly, swallowing and starting his hand back up again. "It's not stupid, man, making out is amazing," Finn turns his face toward Kurt when he sees Kurt's eyes flutter closed. "It feels-- like, really good," he says, watching as Kurt's hand starts to move faster under the sheet, and that maybe makes something hot twist low in Finn's stomach so he keeps talking. "It's really nice, kissing with someone on top of you. Everything feels all intense, right, and it's like you can feel everywhere you're touching. I mean, usually the girl's on top of me because I'm so big, or if I'm on top I have to hold myself up so I'm not, like, crushing her, but--" Kurt cuts him off with a rough noise, biting down on his lip as his eyes fly open to stare at Finn.
"Finn," he gasps out roughly, "just. Stop talking, okay?" Kurt says desperately, and Finn flushes when he realizes what he said.
"Oh, right," Finn says, looking away quickly. He wasn't trying to tease Kurt on purpose or anything - he knows it probably can't help to hear your former crush accidentally dirty talking you while you're jerking off. Which, now that Finn thinks about it - how has Kurt not come yet? Finn usually comes way faster than this and he jerks off all the time. Kurt has his eyes screwed shut and his head tilted back against the pillows, his hand moving fast and steady, and he's letting out a low whining noise that, now that Finn thinks about, doesn't exactly sound like a good kind of whine.
"It's okay," Finn says, his voice coming out way lower than he was expecting. "Kurt, it's okay. Trust me, man, you're not going to embarrass yourself. I'm-- yeah, I mean, this is more than impressive staying power, I promise."
"It's not that," Kurt bites out, his voice thin and frustrated. "I want to, it's just--" Finn waits, squeezing at the base of his dick and trying to think about anything but the way Kurt's mouth looks all swollen up and red from where he's been biting at his lips. "This is stupid," Kurt says after a second, his hand stilling on his dick under the covers. "This was a bad idea, okay, just... finish and go back to your bed." Kurt's eyes are still closed and Finn can see where they're a little wet at the corners, like Kurt might start to cry, and fuck, this is so unfair.
"No, it's not," Finn says, shifting until he's at an angle where he can keep his left hand on his dick and reach for Kurt's with his right. "It's not a bad idea, Kurt, okay, there's no reason for you to feel weird about jerking off. You should let-- can I?" he asks, dropping his hand hesitantly to Kurt's hip over the sheet. Kurt's eyes fly open and he looks at Finn with big, watery eyes.
"What are you doing?" he whispers roughly.
"Helping," Finn says, because he thought that was kind of obvious. "Can I? Please?"
"Finn," Kurt says, his voice all broken up and surprisingly deep. "You shouldn't-- you're not even--"
"That doesn't have anything to do with this," Finn says, squeezing at Kurt's hip. "I'm part of the reason you feel bad about this, so let me help you feel good, okay?" Finn's kind of scared this is going to be one more thing that makes sense in his head but no one understands once he says it out loud, but Kurt just nods, slowly, and pulls his hand out from under the sheet with a shaky breath.
Finn keeps watching Kurt's face as he reaches underneath the sheet, something hot twisting up inside him when his fingers brush over Kurt's bare skin. His thighs are really soft - like really soft - but then Kurt's clearing his throat and saying, "Please, Finn," and Finn doesn't feel anything except hot all over when his hand bumps into Kurt's dick, his fingers circling around it and making a fist.
Holy shit. Kurt really is huge. Or, well, probably not scary huge like in porn, but at least as big as Finn, long and kind of thick and a familiar enough weight in his hand that Finn isn't about to freak out about this. He starts to jerk Kurt off, slow as he tries to make the angle work without leaning all the way over Kurt, but he freezes when Kurt lets out a loud, shuddery gasp and grabs onto Finn's forearm, squeezing tightly.
"Uh, Kurt--"
"Don't stop," Kurt breathes out, still holding tightly, and Finn just nods, moving his hand over Kurt's dick again. Kurt's so red and breathing so hard, but his mouth is dropped open and he's shifting his hips up with Finn's hand, so Finn figures he's doing something right. He squeezes his hand lightly, lets his thumb brush up under the head of Kurt's dick just to try something, and that's it, Kurt's clinging to Finn's arm and his breath is hitching loudly and he's coming, wet and sudden over Finn's hand.
"Oh my god, oh my god," Kurt pants, collapsing back into the pillows, and Finn figures that's his cue to let go of Kurt's dick. Kurt kind of looks like he's in shock, so Finn hopes Kurt doesn't mind when Finn finally stops squeezing at his own dick and strokes himself a couple of times with his left hand. It barely takes three strokes before Finn's coming, hard, biting at his own lip to keep quiet. He doesn't realize he's had his eyes on Kurt the entire time until Kurt blinks his eyes open, and Finn flushes, letting go of his dick.
"Um," Kurt says, squirming away from Finn. Finn hadn't even realized they were still pressed so close.
"Was that... good?" he asks, looking at Kurt carefully and trying to figure out what he's thinking.
"I-- yeah," Kurt says, swallowing when his voice comes out rough. "Yeah. That was really good."
"Awesome," Finn says, smiling happily and holding his hand up for a high five.
"Finn," Kurt says, staring at him like this is somehow a bigger deal than the fact that Finn just jerked him off. "What are you doing."
"High five," Finn says, wiggling his hand in the air. "You know, for a job well done and stuff."
"Your hand is still covered in my... stuff," Kurt hisses, flushing, and Finn looks over and winces, because oh. Yeah.
"Oops," Finn says, hurriedly wiping his hand off on his shirt. He must have wiped his left hand off on his boxers out of habit, because that one seems relatively clean already. He holds his hand back up once the worst of Kurt's come is gone, and he's met with the exact same response.
"We are not high-fiving," Kurt says. "Go back to your bed so I can put my pants on and go wash my hands, which is apparently a foreign concept to you."
"You can't just leave me hanging," Finn says, because what the hell. They just, like... bonded. He's got so much to teach Kurt about being a bro.
"Oh for goodness sake," Kurt sighs, leaning over and slapping at Finn's hand with his. "There," he says, pushing at Finn's shoulder once he's done. "Are you happy now?"
"Yep," Finn says, untangling himself from Kurt's sheets and stumbling over to his own bed, collapsing on the mattress. He can hear Kurt's sheets rustling, but he's too far away now to make much out in the dark, and he kind of misses it, strangely, being close to Kurt. Finn shakes his head at himself as Kurt gets up and heads for the bathroom, and he closes his eyes with a sigh when he hears the sink turn on. Finn should probably feel weirder about the fact that he just jerked Kurt off, but mostly he just feels kind of warm and happy and sleepy. He helped Kurt out, and now Kurt knows that it's okay, that he doesn't have to feel weird about jerking off. Finn's a pretty awesome brother, and he's grinning to himself as the sink cuts off and the bathroom door opens.
Finn looks over, and Kurt's standing in the bathroom doorway, looking at Finn with his head tilted to the side. It kind of reminds Finn of how Kurt used to look at him sometimes in class, sweet and open, and Finn's chest starts to feel tight in a weird way as Kurt shakes his head and turns off the bathroom light. Finn's tempted to reach out and grab Kurt's wrist as he walks by on his way to bed, just to tell him... something. Goodnight, maybe. Or that he's proud of him, but Kurt might take that the wrong way. He ends up not having to make a decision because Kurt stops on his own, reaching out to pat at Finn's shoulder hesitantly.
"Thanks," Kurt says quietly, squeezing at Finn's shoulder.
"Sure thing, Kurt," Finn says. He wants to reach up and cover Kurt's hand with his own, but Kurt just washed his hands and would probably get pissed, so Finn just smiles at him instead. "Anytime," he says, flushing when Kurt raises an eyebrow at him and he realizes what that sounds like. "Well, you know, I mean. Not like. Not like any time, just. Whatever," Finn says quickly.
"Goodnight, Finn," Kurt says with a smile and one last squeeze at Finn's shoulder.
"Yeah," Finn says, watching as Kurt climbs into his bed and settles in against the pillows. "Yeah. Goodnight."
-
Finn is extremely confused the next morning when he wakes up to Burt shouting down the stairs at them.
"Guess I'm going to work by myself, then!" he yells down the basement steps. "Maybe I'll pick up some of those stray cats behind the laundromat on the way to work, see if they want a job. They'd probably be about as useful!"
Finn takes a second to sleepily laugh at the image of a cat in tiny overalls, but then he realizes that it's a Saturday, and Burt doesn't go in until 11 on Saturdays, and holy shit. He majorly overslept, and Kurt must not have woken him up since-- whoa. Finn blinks over at Kurt's bed, where Kurt is rolling over onto his back with a groan and rubbing at his eyes. Finn has never seen Kurt sleep past 9 in the entire time he's lived here.
"Dude," Finn says, his voice rough from sleep. "You're still asleep."
"No, actually," Kurt groans, rubbing his face into his pillow. "I'm awake now, seeing as how I'm talking to you."
"Is Burt pissed?" Finn asks, because he actually really likes working at the garage and Burt pays way better than what Finn made busing tables, and he doesn't even have to be in a wheelchair.
"Nah, he'll be fine, he has full staff on Saturday," Kurt says, sitting up with a groan. "Are you going to shower, or can I get in there?"
"Nah, I'm good for another day or two," Finn yawns.
"You're disgusting," Kurt says, glaring at him the way he does when he's judging Finn for something.
Finn shrugs and plops back down against his pillows, dozing on and off while Kurt sings that Titanic song in the shower.
-
Things don't seem awkward later, and Finn was kind of worried things would be awkward. Kurt's bustling around the way he usually does, doing his morning face stuff while Finn brushes his teeth and washes up and gets dressed, and everything seems normal except for the fact that Kurt seems to be in a pretty good mood, relaxed and humming to himself. Finn smiles to himself, because he did that. He's, like, changed Kurt's life and stuff, and he's totally getting the hang of being a brother. Not that he thinks brothers jerk each other off, but it's not like Kurt's his real brother, and Kurt was his friend before he was his brother, and friends help each other out. It's no different from when he did it with Puck those few times. Even if this time it kind of felt different. Like, way different. Maybe Finn should stick to thinking of it as a brother thing, actually, when he realizes he's been staring at Kurt's hands for the past few minutes while Kurt does his hair. Right. Totally just a brother thing. That's not weird at all.
"Do you want breakfast?" Finn asks as Kurt combs his hair up and sprays it, because his stomach just growled and it seems like the safest thing to say right now.
"Yes," Kurt says immediately. "I'm actually kind of starving."
"Awesome," Finn says. "Can we have pancakes?"
Kurt rolls his eyes at Finn in the mirror, but he's smiling while he does it, and Finn's pretty sure that jerking Kurt off is the best decision he's ever made. Only he accidentally says that out loud, too, before realizing that's probably not a good idea.
Kurt freezes, dropping his comb and scrambling to pick it up. "What?"
"Uh, nothing?" Finn tries, but Kurt's already turning red.
"Finn, we-- I mean, you don't have to--" Kurt tries to stutter out, but Finn interrupts him.
"Listen, Kurt, it's-- this isn't something we have to feel bad or weird about, okay? It wasn't-- I like you. I wanted to." Finn's blushing too now, but whatever, it's probably just because Kurt's blushing. Or something. Like how you yawn when someone else yawns.
"Okay," Kurt says, still looking down at the top of his vanity.
"I mean, was it-- are you okay?" Finn asks, starting to feel nervous. Shit. This is why Finn seriously doesn't get the whole talking about your feelings thing. What if he just made things worse, or what if he made Kurt feel bad and now things are going to be weird and--
"Finn, stop freaking out," Kurt says, looking up and smiling at him softly. "I'm okay. I'm more than okay, actually. As long as you don't feel weird about it, then I don't feel weird about it. I liked it," Kurt finishes quietly. "It was kind of..."
"Awesome," Finn finishes for him when he trails off. "I'm pretty great at handjobs, I guess."
"Yes, well, you've clearly had enough practice," Kurt says, rolling his eyes, and just like that, everything feels okay again. Kurt's making fun of him and dabbing weird creams on his face, and Kurt liked it when Finn jerked him off, but it doesn't mean things have to get weird. Besides, he made Kurt happy, which was kind of the point, and now Kurt's going to make them pancakes. Finn's hoping that if he asks for chocolate chips, Kurt will make his special. Finn has definitely had worse days.