A Little Like This, Kurt/Blaine, PG-13
Title: A Little Like This
Author: skintightsocks
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Blaine/Kurt
Word Count: 2,800+
Summary: "I almost forgot about this movie," Blaine says, tipping his head down to whisper in Kurt's ear. "But see? Josie didn't get her first kiss - her first real kiss - until she was twenty-five. You've got all the time in the world."
Spoilers: General s2 spoilers, up to "Furt."
Author Notes: Title is from the song "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3 and Ke$ha because we somehow kept a tiny bit of musical integrity in the face of Bandom, but apparently lost every last bit in the face of Glee. Also titles are hard.
"Are you sure you guys are straight?" Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow at Wes and David who are standing in front of him, Wes smiling brightly and David waving around Never Been Kissed.
"Drew Barrymore has a universal appeal," Wes says.
"Just like Michael Vartan," Blaine says with a dreamy sigh.
"Not this again," David groans, heading for the TV in the common room.
"Again?" Kurt asks, curious.
"He went through a phase last year," Wes answers, flopping down in an armchair. "We had to watch pretty much every Michael Vartan movie ever."
"And all five seasons of Alias," David adds, grabbing the remote from Wes and ignoring his protests. He goes for the chair on the other side of the sofa, and Kurt's a little confused, because there's a whole sofa and he and Blaine aren't exactly giant guys. There's room.
"Did you or did you not get to stare at Jennifer Garner in a wide array of little to no clothing?" Blaine says, yawning a little at the end and then stretching his arm out behind Kurt's head on the sofa. It would have been a smooth move, too, if he hadn't almost elbowed Kurt in the ear.
"He's a smooth operator," David sings, grinning when Wes comes in on the harmony.
"My arm hurt," Blaine says, but he's blushing a little, so Kurt tilts into his side a little bit, just to make him feel better. Wes and David are pretty insistent about Blaine's fictional crush on Kurt, and most of the time it really is funny. But every now and then it kind of stings, just a little, deep down where Kurt hasn't quite managed to get over his actual crush on Blaine.
"Do you think you'll recover?" Kurt asks, looking up at Blaine with mock concern.
"I don't know," Blaine says, pouting a little. "I might need a nurse."
"You should make sure your nurse gives you an ice bath," Wes says, rolling his eyes and very pointedly hitting play, singing along excitedly with the opening credits. It's not long before David joins him, Blaine doing back up harmonies, and Kurt hums quietly to himself. He lets himself lean on Blaine just a tiny bit more when Blaine squeezes at his shoulder and his hand lingers, his palm wide and warm on Kurt's shoulder. Blaine's a physical guy - he gives hugs for any and every occasion and likes to hold hands and link arms and just touch in general, and Kurt's had to force himself to get used it. He hasn't flinched in a long, long time around Blaine, but the constant touching isn't really doing anything to ease his crush. Not that Kurt wants to change that or anything. It's nice, having someone around to lean on in more ways than one, and Kurt smiles to himself as Drew Barrymore waits nervously at home plate, leaning back into the touch when Blaine rubs at his shoulder.
It's been a while since Kurt's seen Never Been Kissed, and he almost forgot the entire reason for the movie. He tenses up a little as Josie tells her friends that she's never been kissed, not a real kiss, and he can feel Blaine staring at him. Kurt swallows the lump in his throat and tries desperately not to blush or do anything out of the ordinary, but that never seems to work on Blaine and this time is no different. "I almost forgot about this movie," Blaine says, tipping his head down to whisper in Kurt's ear. "But see? Josie didn't get her first kiss - her first real kiss - until she was twenty-five. You've got all the time in the world."
"Yeah," Kurt says. Blaine's looking at him with his earnest face and sincere eyes and Kurt can't bring himself to tell Blaine that he has to wait, that there isn't anyone lining up to kiss him. Blaine's expression turns curious, and maybe just a little bit concerned, but he doesn't say anything as he pulls Kurt closer. Kurt leans gratefully into his side and Blaine reaches out with his free hand, grabbing onto Kurt's hand and holding it tight.
In an effort to stop thinking about it, Kurt tries to tune the movie out after a few minutes. It's not that difficult. Blaine's warm and comfortable and doesn't seem to have any problem with Kurt snuggling up to him, so Kurt lets his eyes slide shut, breathing slowly and falling asleep with his head resting right under Blaine's chin. He doesn't know how long he's out, exactly, but he wakes up when Josie and Sam are kissing at home plate and the crowd is cheering loudly. Kurt tries to be sneaky when he lifts his head up but Blaine just squeezes his hand and says, "Hey," softly into Kurt's hair, and shit, was Kurt snoring? Did he drool? It would be Kurt's dumb luck to drool all over the guy he has a crush on during the movie Kurt wants to be watching the least right now.
"Sorry," Kurt says, trying to sit up, but Blaine just tightens his arm around Kurt's shoulder and rubs his thumb over Kurt's knuckles where their hands are still touching.
"It's okay," he says. "You don't snore and you didn't even drool on me the way Wes did after last year's choir showcase."
"Dude, you're lucky it was just your shoulder," David says sadly. "This one time he fell asleep in my lap and I woke up and my junk was wet."
"Wow," Blaine says.
"Seriously, wow," Kurt repeats.
"I was tired," Wes says in the sudden silence when David shuts the DVD off once the credits start to roll. "Besides, I'm still not sure you weren't lying about that."
"Why would I lie about you drooling on my dick?" David asks incredulously.
"Because I'm hot?" Wes says, like it's the obvious answer.
"Wow," Blaine says again, louder this time. "Can't you guys take this to your room? I think Kurt wants to nap some more."
"I didn't say--"
"Yes you did," Blaine cuts him off. "Remember? It's very important." He's looking at Kurt desperately, and Kurt's been around for enough of Wes and David's epic "did not, did so" arguments that he sees Blaine's point.
"Right. I totally did," Kurt says, faking a yawn and cuddling closer against Blaine's chest. "Exhausted," he says.
"Sure," David says, tossing the remotes onto the table. "Just remember you're in a public space. Keep your sleeping PG."
"And use protection," Wes says as he follows David up the stairs to the dorms. "Sleeping can be really dangerous these days!"
"Go away," Blaine shouts, groaning a little. Kurt's blushing, his face still buried in Blaine's chest, and he's kind of frozen in place. He doesn't know if he should stay and hide his blush or pull back so he's not on top of Blaine. "Sorry about them," Blaine says, shrugging a little with his arms still wrapped around Kurt. "I should really know by now that they can't be trusted in public."
"It's cool," Kurt says, wincing a little at how awkward Blaine's voice sounds. "I mean, I get that it's a joke. Trust me, people picking on me by implying I have a sex life is far preferable to the stuff I'm used to." Kurt tries to sit up, twisting away, but Blaine just tightens his hold.
"Hey, no, that's not what I meant," Blaine says.
"I understand if you'd rather I don't hang around with you guys," Kurt says, his throat trying to tighten up. He's been here before, that moment when people realize that hanging around the gay kid isn't worth the trouble it brings them.
"You are so stupid," Blaine says, hugging Kurt even closer when he tenses up. "Hey," he says, pulling back until he can tilt Kurt's chin up and look him in the eyes. "I get that you're not used to being treated like... fuck, a human, I don't know. And that sucks, and it pisses me off, but you have to believe me when I say I want you around. With or without Wes and David's color commentary on our imaginary sex life." Blaine's staring down at him, his eyes wide and sincere and really, really green, and Kurt really wishes he could get over his crush once and for all so he can be around Blaine without just wanting him all the time.
"Hey, it's cool, at least I'm getting action in their heads," Kurt says, going for funny but ending up kind of sad. "I'm going to end up just like Josie Geller, 25 and making pillows and talking to turtles, aren't I?"
"Are you kidding?" Blaine laughs, smiling widely and squeezing at Kurt's waist. "You have much better fashion sense than Josie. The '90s is no excuse for some of those outfits."
Kurt looks down, because he feels stupid and obvious and miserable and Blaine's still holding him, smiling and being amazing and adorable and not-his-boyfriend. Kurt did not fully realize how much this would suck.
"Hey," Blaine says, his fingers brushing slowly over Kurt's hip, probably going for soothing but just making Kurt want to squirm. "Come on, I don't even get a smile for that?"
Kurt just keeps quiet, not trusting himself to open his mouth, and Blaine's voice drops a little, getting softer and more serious. "Hey. You can tell me what's wrong, Kurt. I feel like all I do is talk at you and I never actually help, but I hate seeing you sad like this."
"It's nothing," Kurt says, his eyes burning like he wants to cry. "I'm just being stupid."
"Kurt," Blaine says, and Kurt rolls his eyes.
"Fine," he says, dropping his head back down to Blaine's shoulder. "It's just kind of embarrassing, is all, that I've only ever kissed two people. One of whom is a cheerleader that I'm pretty sure is almost as gay as me, and the other one is a closeted homophobe who forced himself on me and then threatened to kill me afterward. I try not to dwell on it and be a big self-pitying loser, but sometimes it just gets to me, and reminds me that I'm still not... I don't know," Kurt falters. He doesn't want to say something stupid like undesirable or just flat out say that he's not hot, and he can feel Blaine looking down at him, feel the way Blaine's still rubbing little circles over his hip.
"Kurt," Blaine says after a minute of silence. "Come on, what do you mean?"
Blaine's holding him close, and he's so warm and so gorgeous and he smells so good, and Kurt laughs, sudden and sad, because here he is again, same old Kurt, crushing on a guy he can't have. This time it's not even a matter of sexuality, though, and that hurts even more. Blaine could have liked him back. He just... didn't. Yet here Kurt is, curled up around him on a sofa, taking touches that don't mean what Kurt wants them to mean, that don't really mean anything at all.
"It's just not going to change, is all," Kurt says quietly. "No one wants me." Kurt's voice is kind of choked up by the end, and he winces, trying to keep small and still and not let Blaine realize that tears have started to roll down his cheeks.
He doesn't do a very good job, though, because Blaine is pulling him closer, rubbing at his back and whispering, "No, hey, shh. Kurt, don't cry." His voice is warm and low and he's all Kurt wants, even right now. "Kurt," Blaine says again, letting go of him and scooting back a little, and fuck. Of course. Of course Blaine doesn't want to sit around and let Kurt cry all over him.
"I'm sorry," Kurt says quickly, wiping at his eyes. He can only imagine how terrible he looks right now, his eyes wet and red, his skin all blotchy. "I didn't mean to freak out on you, I'm sorry, I'm just gonna--" he tries to stand up but Blaine tugs him back down onto the sofa and brings his hand up to Kurt's face, his thumb stroking carefully over Kurt's cheekbone, brushing tears away. He's looking at Kurt all soft and intent, his eyes warm, and Kurt doesn't want to ruin it, but he can't help it. "Blaine?" Kurt asks, breathless from crying and embarrassment and a sudden wild, desperate hope. Blaine leans in, kissing at Kurt's tear-stained cheek, and Kurt lets out a breath, harsh and surprised. His eyes squeeze shut and then Blaine's sliding his lips over, kissing Kurt for real. It's soft and sweet and slow, just gentle brushes of his lips against Kurt's, and oh.
He hadn't felt anything when he kissed Brittany. It was just boring and wet and vaguely gross, and Karofsky, well. He'd been so angry - angry and scared and thrumming with adrenaline that turned into fear and humiliation when Karofsky had slammed his lips against Kurt's. This, though, this is-- wow. Blaine's lips are soft and warm and Kurt tingles all over when they slide against his own, his hand gentle where he's still cupping Kurt's cheek. Kurt's whole body is flushed and straining toward Blaine and he can't help it when he lets out a little noise and leans in closer.
Which, of course, is when Blaine pulls away, his eyes wide and shocked. Kurt goes cold, his stomach suddenly clenching up nervously. "Blaine," he says, wincing when his voice comes out weak and wavering.
"I wasn't supposed to do that. Shit, Kurt, I'm sorry. I told myself that couldn't happen," Blaine says. Kurt wants to leave, wants to stand up and run away, all the way back to McKinley if he has to. Facing Karofsky can't be as bad as Blaine kissing him and then not wanting him, he's sure of it. Blaine's hand is still on his face, though, his arm still around Kurt's waist, and Kurt feels trapped. Trapped and embarrassed and so, so sad that he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes again.
"I'm sorry," Kurt says, swallowing at the lump in his throat. "It's okay, I won't tell anyone, I promise, just--"
"Kurt," Blaine cuts him off, his voice sharp and worried. "Not like that. Never like that, okay?" he says urgently, his thumb stroking at Kurt's cheek again. He drops his head, resting his forehead against Kurt's and taking in a ragged breath. "I wanted to," he says, his voice low and kind of rough in a way that makes Kurt want to shiver. "I've wanted to," he continues, squeezing at Kurt's hip. "I just didn't want to force anything on you, I never want that to happen to you again and I sure as hell wasn't going to-- wait, wait, Kurt," Blaine breaks off, his voice worried.
He pulls back, and Kurt knows that Blaine can see the fresh tears on his face. He doesn't have time to be embarrassed, though. He's tired of this, tired of everything, and all he wants to do is kiss Blaine again, again and again for as long as Blaine will let him. So he does, bringing a shaking hand up to Blaine's face, stroking his fingertips over Blaine's soft skin and leaning in to kiss him again.
Kurt doesn't exactly know what he's doing, so he keeps his kisses hesitant, just brushing his lips against Blaine's the way Blaine had kissed him before. Blaine seems to struggle with it for a second before he pulls him closer. The hand on Kurt's cheek slides around to tangle in his hair, scratching at his scalp a little, and Kurt doesn't even care if Blaine ruins his hair because it sends shivers down Kurt's spine, makes his whole body feel electric, everything thrumming and buzzing and sparking. Blaine kisses him a little deeper, sucking lightly at Kurt's bottom lip, and Kurt can't help the noise he makes against Blaine's mouth, breathy and pleased.
Kurt tilts his head, his cheek sliding wetly against Blaine's from his tears, and it's so ridiculous that Kurt laughs into the kiss before he manages to stop, pulling back and smacking his hand over his mouth. It's mostly in embarrassment, but also so that he can touch his lips where they're tingling and wet. From kissing Blaine, holy shit.
"I'm sorry," he says, moving his hand to wipe at his eyes. "That was probably the grossest kiss ever, wasn't it? I'm so sorry," but Blaine doesn't even answer, just leans forward and brushes a tear away from the corner of Kurt's eye, ducking back in to kiss Kurt like he can't quite help himself.
"You have no idea how gorgeous you are, do you?" Blaine asks softly, still stroking at Kurt's face.
Kurt feels himself blush, taken aback, and all he can do is blink kind of stupidly at Blaine, but he guesses it's enough of an answer because Blaine leans back in, brushing his lips softly against Kurt's again. "It's okay," he says, resting his forehead back against Kurt's. "I'm gonna show you."
Author: skintightsocks
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Blaine/Kurt
Word Count: 2,800+
Summary: "I almost forgot about this movie," Blaine says, tipping his head down to whisper in Kurt's ear. "But see? Josie didn't get her first kiss - her first real kiss - until she was twenty-five. You've got all the time in the world."
Spoilers: General s2 spoilers, up to "Furt."
Author Notes: Title is from the song "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3 and Ke$ha because we somehow kept a tiny bit of musical integrity in the face of Bandom, but apparently lost every last bit in the face of Glee. Also titles are hard.
"Are you sure you guys are straight?" Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow at Wes and David who are standing in front of him, Wes smiling brightly and David waving around Never Been Kissed.
"Drew Barrymore has a universal appeal," Wes says.
"Just like Michael Vartan," Blaine says with a dreamy sigh.
"Not this again," David groans, heading for the TV in the common room.
"Again?" Kurt asks, curious.
"He went through a phase last year," Wes answers, flopping down in an armchair. "We had to watch pretty much every Michael Vartan movie ever."
"And all five seasons of Alias," David adds, grabbing the remote from Wes and ignoring his protests. He goes for the chair on the other side of the sofa, and Kurt's a little confused, because there's a whole sofa and he and Blaine aren't exactly giant guys. There's room.
"Did you or did you not get to stare at Jennifer Garner in a wide array of little to no clothing?" Blaine says, yawning a little at the end and then stretching his arm out behind Kurt's head on the sofa. It would have been a smooth move, too, if he hadn't almost elbowed Kurt in the ear.
"He's a smooth operator," David sings, grinning when Wes comes in on the harmony.
"My arm hurt," Blaine says, but he's blushing a little, so Kurt tilts into his side a little bit, just to make him feel better. Wes and David are pretty insistent about Blaine's fictional crush on Kurt, and most of the time it really is funny. But every now and then it kind of stings, just a little, deep down where Kurt hasn't quite managed to get over his actual crush on Blaine.
"Do you think you'll recover?" Kurt asks, looking up at Blaine with mock concern.
"I don't know," Blaine says, pouting a little. "I might need a nurse."
"You should make sure your nurse gives you an ice bath," Wes says, rolling his eyes and very pointedly hitting play, singing along excitedly with the opening credits. It's not long before David joins him, Blaine doing back up harmonies, and Kurt hums quietly to himself. He lets himself lean on Blaine just a tiny bit more when Blaine squeezes at his shoulder and his hand lingers, his palm wide and warm on Kurt's shoulder. Blaine's a physical guy - he gives hugs for any and every occasion and likes to hold hands and link arms and just touch in general, and Kurt's had to force himself to get used it. He hasn't flinched in a long, long time around Blaine, but the constant touching isn't really doing anything to ease his crush. Not that Kurt wants to change that or anything. It's nice, having someone around to lean on in more ways than one, and Kurt smiles to himself as Drew Barrymore waits nervously at home plate, leaning back into the touch when Blaine rubs at his shoulder.
It's been a while since Kurt's seen Never Been Kissed, and he almost forgot the entire reason for the movie. He tenses up a little as Josie tells her friends that she's never been kissed, not a real kiss, and he can feel Blaine staring at him. Kurt swallows the lump in his throat and tries desperately not to blush or do anything out of the ordinary, but that never seems to work on Blaine and this time is no different. "I almost forgot about this movie," Blaine says, tipping his head down to whisper in Kurt's ear. "But see? Josie didn't get her first kiss - her first real kiss - until she was twenty-five. You've got all the time in the world."
"Yeah," Kurt says. Blaine's looking at him with his earnest face and sincere eyes and Kurt can't bring himself to tell Blaine that he has to wait, that there isn't anyone lining up to kiss him. Blaine's expression turns curious, and maybe just a little bit concerned, but he doesn't say anything as he pulls Kurt closer. Kurt leans gratefully into his side and Blaine reaches out with his free hand, grabbing onto Kurt's hand and holding it tight.
In an effort to stop thinking about it, Kurt tries to tune the movie out after a few minutes. It's not that difficult. Blaine's warm and comfortable and doesn't seem to have any problem with Kurt snuggling up to him, so Kurt lets his eyes slide shut, breathing slowly and falling asleep with his head resting right under Blaine's chin. He doesn't know how long he's out, exactly, but he wakes up when Josie and Sam are kissing at home plate and the crowd is cheering loudly. Kurt tries to be sneaky when he lifts his head up but Blaine just squeezes his hand and says, "Hey," softly into Kurt's hair, and shit, was Kurt snoring? Did he drool? It would be Kurt's dumb luck to drool all over the guy he has a crush on during the movie Kurt wants to be watching the least right now.
"Sorry," Kurt says, trying to sit up, but Blaine just tightens his arm around Kurt's shoulder and rubs his thumb over Kurt's knuckles where their hands are still touching.
"It's okay," he says. "You don't snore and you didn't even drool on me the way Wes did after last year's choir showcase."
"Dude, you're lucky it was just your shoulder," David says sadly. "This one time he fell asleep in my lap and I woke up and my junk was wet."
"Wow," Blaine says.
"Seriously, wow," Kurt repeats.
"I was tired," Wes says in the sudden silence when David shuts the DVD off once the credits start to roll. "Besides, I'm still not sure you weren't lying about that."
"Why would I lie about you drooling on my dick?" David asks incredulously.
"Because I'm hot?" Wes says, like it's the obvious answer.
"Wow," Blaine says again, louder this time. "Can't you guys take this to your room? I think Kurt wants to nap some more."
"I didn't say--"
"Yes you did," Blaine cuts him off. "Remember? It's very important." He's looking at Kurt desperately, and Kurt's been around for enough of Wes and David's epic "did not, did so" arguments that he sees Blaine's point.
"Right. I totally did," Kurt says, faking a yawn and cuddling closer against Blaine's chest. "Exhausted," he says.
"Sure," David says, tossing the remotes onto the table. "Just remember you're in a public space. Keep your sleeping PG."
"And use protection," Wes says as he follows David up the stairs to the dorms. "Sleeping can be really dangerous these days!"
"Go away," Blaine shouts, groaning a little. Kurt's blushing, his face still buried in Blaine's chest, and he's kind of frozen in place. He doesn't know if he should stay and hide his blush or pull back so he's not on top of Blaine. "Sorry about them," Blaine says, shrugging a little with his arms still wrapped around Kurt. "I should really know by now that they can't be trusted in public."
"It's cool," Kurt says, wincing a little at how awkward Blaine's voice sounds. "I mean, I get that it's a joke. Trust me, people picking on me by implying I have a sex life is far preferable to the stuff I'm used to." Kurt tries to sit up, twisting away, but Blaine just tightens his hold.
"Hey, no, that's not what I meant," Blaine says.
"I understand if you'd rather I don't hang around with you guys," Kurt says, his throat trying to tighten up. He's been here before, that moment when people realize that hanging around the gay kid isn't worth the trouble it brings them.
"You are so stupid," Blaine says, hugging Kurt even closer when he tenses up. "Hey," he says, pulling back until he can tilt Kurt's chin up and look him in the eyes. "I get that you're not used to being treated like... fuck, a human, I don't know. And that sucks, and it pisses me off, but you have to believe me when I say I want you around. With or without Wes and David's color commentary on our imaginary sex life." Blaine's staring down at him, his eyes wide and sincere and really, really green, and Kurt really wishes he could get over his crush once and for all so he can be around Blaine without just wanting him all the time.
"Hey, it's cool, at least I'm getting action in their heads," Kurt says, going for funny but ending up kind of sad. "I'm going to end up just like Josie Geller, 25 and making pillows and talking to turtles, aren't I?"
"Are you kidding?" Blaine laughs, smiling widely and squeezing at Kurt's waist. "You have much better fashion sense than Josie. The '90s is no excuse for some of those outfits."
Kurt looks down, because he feels stupid and obvious and miserable and Blaine's still holding him, smiling and being amazing and adorable and not-his-boyfriend. Kurt did not fully realize how much this would suck.
"Hey," Blaine says, his fingers brushing slowly over Kurt's hip, probably going for soothing but just making Kurt want to squirm. "Come on, I don't even get a smile for that?"
Kurt just keeps quiet, not trusting himself to open his mouth, and Blaine's voice drops a little, getting softer and more serious. "Hey. You can tell me what's wrong, Kurt. I feel like all I do is talk at you and I never actually help, but I hate seeing you sad like this."
"It's nothing," Kurt says, his eyes burning like he wants to cry. "I'm just being stupid."
"Kurt," Blaine says, and Kurt rolls his eyes.
"Fine," he says, dropping his head back down to Blaine's shoulder. "It's just kind of embarrassing, is all, that I've only ever kissed two people. One of whom is a cheerleader that I'm pretty sure is almost as gay as me, and the other one is a closeted homophobe who forced himself on me and then threatened to kill me afterward. I try not to dwell on it and be a big self-pitying loser, but sometimes it just gets to me, and reminds me that I'm still not... I don't know," Kurt falters. He doesn't want to say something stupid like undesirable or just flat out say that he's not hot, and he can feel Blaine looking down at him, feel the way Blaine's still rubbing little circles over his hip.
"Kurt," Blaine says after a minute of silence. "Come on, what do you mean?"
Blaine's holding him close, and he's so warm and so gorgeous and he smells so good, and Kurt laughs, sudden and sad, because here he is again, same old Kurt, crushing on a guy he can't have. This time it's not even a matter of sexuality, though, and that hurts even more. Blaine could have liked him back. He just... didn't. Yet here Kurt is, curled up around him on a sofa, taking touches that don't mean what Kurt wants them to mean, that don't really mean anything at all.
"It's just not going to change, is all," Kurt says quietly. "No one wants me." Kurt's voice is kind of choked up by the end, and he winces, trying to keep small and still and not let Blaine realize that tears have started to roll down his cheeks.
He doesn't do a very good job, though, because Blaine is pulling him closer, rubbing at his back and whispering, "No, hey, shh. Kurt, don't cry." His voice is warm and low and he's all Kurt wants, even right now. "Kurt," Blaine says again, letting go of him and scooting back a little, and fuck. Of course. Of course Blaine doesn't want to sit around and let Kurt cry all over him.
"I'm sorry," Kurt says quickly, wiping at his eyes. He can only imagine how terrible he looks right now, his eyes wet and red, his skin all blotchy. "I didn't mean to freak out on you, I'm sorry, I'm just gonna--" he tries to stand up but Blaine tugs him back down onto the sofa and brings his hand up to Kurt's face, his thumb stroking carefully over Kurt's cheekbone, brushing tears away. He's looking at Kurt all soft and intent, his eyes warm, and Kurt doesn't want to ruin it, but he can't help it. "Blaine?" Kurt asks, breathless from crying and embarrassment and a sudden wild, desperate hope. Blaine leans in, kissing at Kurt's tear-stained cheek, and Kurt lets out a breath, harsh and surprised. His eyes squeeze shut and then Blaine's sliding his lips over, kissing Kurt for real. It's soft and sweet and slow, just gentle brushes of his lips against Kurt's, and oh.
He hadn't felt anything when he kissed Brittany. It was just boring and wet and vaguely gross, and Karofsky, well. He'd been so angry - angry and scared and thrumming with adrenaline that turned into fear and humiliation when Karofsky had slammed his lips against Kurt's. This, though, this is-- wow. Blaine's lips are soft and warm and Kurt tingles all over when they slide against his own, his hand gentle where he's still cupping Kurt's cheek. Kurt's whole body is flushed and straining toward Blaine and he can't help it when he lets out a little noise and leans in closer.
Which, of course, is when Blaine pulls away, his eyes wide and shocked. Kurt goes cold, his stomach suddenly clenching up nervously. "Blaine," he says, wincing when his voice comes out weak and wavering.
"I wasn't supposed to do that. Shit, Kurt, I'm sorry. I told myself that couldn't happen," Blaine says. Kurt wants to leave, wants to stand up and run away, all the way back to McKinley if he has to. Facing Karofsky can't be as bad as Blaine kissing him and then not wanting him, he's sure of it. Blaine's hand is still on his face, though, his arm still around Kurt's waist, and Kurt feels trapped. Trapped and embarrassed and so, so sad that he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes again.
"I'm sorry," Kurt says, swallowing at the lump in his throat. "It's okay, I won't tell anyone, I promise, just--"
"Kurt," Blaine cuts him off, his voice sharp and worried. "Not like that. Never like that, okay?" he says urgently, his thumb stroking at Kurt's cheek again. He drops his head, resting his forehead against Kurt's and taking in a ragged breath. "I wanted to," he says, his voice low and kind of rough in a way that makes Kurt want to shiver. "I've wanted to," he continues, squeezing at Kurt's hip. "I just didn't want to force anything on you, I never want that to happen to you again and I sure as hell wasn't going to-- wait, wait, Kurt," Blaine breaks off, his voice worried.
He pulls back, and Kurt knows that Blaine can see the fresh tears on his face. He doesn't have time to be embarrassed, though. He's tired of this, tired of everything, and all he wants to do is kiss Blaine again, again and again for as long as Blaine will let him. So he does, bringing a shaking hand up to Blaine's face, stroking his fingertips over Blaine's soft skin and leaning in to kiss him again.
Kurt doesn't exactly know what he's doing, so he keeps his kisses hesitant, just brushing his lips against Blaine's the way Blaine had kissed him before. Blaine seems to struggle with it for a second before he pulls him closer. The hand on Kurt's cheek slides around to tangle in his hair, scratching at his scalp a little, and Kurt doesn't even care if Blaine ruins his hair because it sends shivers down Kurt's spine, makes his whole body feel electric, everything thrumming and buzzing and sparking. Blaine kisses him a little deeper, sucking lightly at Kurt's bottom lip, and Kurt can't help the noise he makes against Blaine's mouth, breathy and pleased.
Kurt tilts his head, his cheek sliding wetly against Blaine's from his tears, and it's so ridiculous that Kurt laughs into the kiss before he manages to stop, pulling back and smacking his hand over his mouth. It's mostly in embarrassment, but also so that he can touch his lips where they're tingling and wet. From kissing Blaine, holy shit.
"I'm sorry," he says, moving his hand to wipe at his eyes. "That was probably the grossest kiss ever, wasn't it? I'm so sorry," but Blaine doesn't even answer, just leans forward and brushes a tear away from the corner of Kurt's eye, ducking back in to kiss Kurt like he can't quite help himself.
"You have no idea how gorgeous you are, do you?" Blaine asks softly, still stroking at Kurt's face.
Kurt feels himself blush, taken aback, and all he can do is blink kind of stupidly at Blaine, but he guesses it's enough of an answer because Blaine leans back in, brushing his lips softly against Kurt's again. "It's okay," he says, resting his forehead back against Kurt's. "I'm gonna show you."