Kurt Hummel and the Not-Just-For-Prefects' Bathroom, Kurt/Blaine (HP!AU 4/7), NC-17
Title: Kurt Hummel and the Not-Just-For-Prefects' Bathroom
Author: skintightsocks
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine (background Brittany/Santana)
Word Count: 3,900+
Summary: "I'm dying," Blaine says once he gets close enough for Kurt to hear him over the wind. "I swear that if the rest of the warbler choir is in the baths again because of the good acoustics, I'm going to turn them all into canaries."
Spoilers: none
Warnings: Sex between two characters who are under 18 but of the legal age of consent.
Author Notes: This is fic 4 of 7 of our HP!AU. Previous parts can be found here. It was a real sacrifice, watching that GoF clip of Harry in the bath again and again to help with accuracy, but we did what we had to for the cause. :D (You are a pervert, fallintosilence. A pervert. -boweryd)
Blaine looks like a drowned puppy. Kurt knew Blaine had Quidditch practice but he'd been working on homework in the library and hadn't realized just how hard it was raining until he finally glanced out the window. He's been waiting for Blaine outside the castle doors, pressed into the small dry space allotted by the overhang. Blaine's trudging toward him, soaking wet and covered in mud, and Kurt casts a quick Scourgify on Blaine as soon as he's near enough. He thinks about attempting to use a drying spell, but Blaine is well and truly soaked, his teeth chattering from the cold.
"I'm dying," Blaine says once he gets close enough for Kurt to hear him over the wind. "I swear that if the rest of the warbler choir is in the baths again because of the good acoustics, I'm going to turn them all into canaries."
"You're adorable," Kurt says, leaning forward carefully to kiss the cold, red tip of Blaine's nose, "and very intimidating. But I have a better idea, follow me."
"Where are we going?" Blaine asks, squelching along behind him.
"The Prefects' bathroom is much nicer, and also closer," Kurt says.
"But you're not a Prefect, and I'm not the captain of Hufflepuff's Quidditch team," Blaine says from behind him, his teeth still chattering. Kurt wants to attempt a warming charm, but they tend to be incredibly temperamental for him and the last time he tried one he nearly set his hair on fire.
"I know that," Kurt says. "Mike Chang is the captain and you guys have mandatory Friday group hugs. I listen when you talk, you know."
"Even when I talk about Quidditch?" Blaine asks, his voice going soft and fond. "That means so much, Kurt."
"Yes, yes, I'm an awesome boyfriend," Kurt says, rounding the statue of Boris the Bewildered and saying, "fizzy sensations" to the door. It swings open easily, and Blaine follows him through slowly, looking around in awe.
"Whoa," Blaine says. "This place is gorgeous."
"I know, right?" Kurt says, shutting the door behind them and whispering a quick spell to alert anyone else stopping by that the bathroom is occupied before he turns around and starts helping Blaine out of his wet Quidditch robes. "I stopped using the regular baths once I heard about it in second year."
"How on earth did you get in?" Blaine asks. "Did Rachel give you the password?"
"Well, now she does," Kurt says. "But it's incredibly easy to enchant a statue, and Boris is quite chatty."
"You are such a Slytherin," Blaine says, grinning at Kurt and working at the laces of his pants while Kurt kneels down to take off his shin pads.
"Oh my, things sure are getting spicy in here!"
"Go away, Suzy," Kurt calls over his shoulder, rolling his eyes up at Blaine. She's been creepily perving on him in the bath since Kurt was a third year, so he's well used to the weirdness of relaxing in a hot tub only to have Suzy Pepper drift out of the nearest toilet and start talking about his heat factor and how she's had some very spicy things down her throat.
Kurt knows. Everyone knows. She's still used as a cautionary tale about eating things from the Forbidden Forest.
"Finally brought your boy-toy for a dip, huh?" Suzy asks, floating over and skimming her translucent hands over Blaine's shoulders as Blaine takes off his gloves. "I thought you liked them tall."
"Shut it, Pepper," Kurt snaps. The last thing he needs is yet another round of Blaine's Napoleon complex drama. Last time he'd tried to cast a lengthening charm on his legs, and Santana had told the entire school he was aiming for his penis.
"You know, I've seen lots of things happen in this bathroom," Suzy says, trailing her hand down Blaine's chest. "I'm very discreet."
"Please stop doing that," Blaine says tightly as she leans her head on his shoulder.
"If you don't get your ghost hands off my boyfriend right this second I will make sure that you never creepily sniff another pepper again," Kurt hisses. "My friend Brittany practically lives with the house elves, I can make it happen."
"The house elves love me," Suzy spits.
"No they don't, they think you're a creepy pepper sniffer just like everyone else," Kurt says. "Don't make me talk to Brittany."
"Brittany," Suzy says, floating up and perching on top of the faucets over the bath. "Blonde, tall, daffy? Because one time she came in here with that angry Slytherin girl, and the things I saw," she says, her voice getting scary and intense. "It would turn a bell pepper into a serrano."
"That's nice," Kurt says. "Now leave before I flush you."
"You're no fun," Suzy says, floating toward the nearest toilet with a pout. "Maybe I'll go see what's going in Professor Schuester's bathroom. He is just the hottest little habanero."
"You're disgusting, Pepper," Kurt says as she dives into the toilet. "Disgusting."
"She won't come back, right?" Blaine asks warily, his pants unlaced but still up around his waist as he kicks off his shoes, and Kurt shrugs.
"Usually she doesn't. Arms up," Kurt says, grabbing hold of the bottom of Blaine's sweater and tugging the soaked thing up over Blaine's head, watching the way his muscles shift under skin as Blaine stretches his arms up. The sight of Blaine without clothes on isn't especially new, but Kurt's come to realize it never gets less thrilling, being able to stare at his boyfriend shamelessly like this, at the way his broad shoulders taper down into lean torso and down even farther to hipbones that jut out, and coarse, dark hair that trails down his lower stomach and into his underwear.
"You should take these off now," Kurt says quietly with his fingertips on the waistband of Blaine's underwear, and he's only blushing a little as he presses in close to Blaine and kisses him slow and soft before pulling back. It takes Blaine a second before he blinks his eyes back open and gives Kurt a warm smile, reaching out automatically to try to tug Kurt back in, to lean up and kiss him again. Kurt laughs, this time darting in and kissing Blaine's forehead. "I mean it, get naked," Kurt growls, sneaking a quick look down at the obvious shape of Blaine's cock through his soaked-sheer underwear.
Kurt turns around before his fingers find themselves grabbing at Blaine's hips like they always seem to do. He heads for the taps and carefully turns on his favorite scents, watching the bubbles pour out, each stream of bubbles a different color. The giant tub fills up fast and Kurt lets himself get momentarily distracted flipping his hair out of his eyes in time with the mermaid in the stained glass window.
"That smells wonderful but it looks deep," Blaine says, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist. He's freezing, his skin clammy, and Kurt turns around, dropping another kiss on Blaine's forehead before he starts to take off his own clothes, carefully folding them onto a table.
"It's only really deep in the middle," Kurt says, slapping Blaine's hand away when he tries to get a hand down the back of Kurt's underwear. "It's fine, Blaine. It's only about seven feet deep anyway, you won't drown."
"Even if I can't swim?" Blaine asks nervously.
"You can't swim?" Kurt asks, blinking. "Of course you can swim."
"I really can't," Blaine says, looking warily at the tub as Kurt turns the taps off.
"Why do you and Sam constantly annoy the Giant Squid, then? That's just asking for trouble."
"We're not annoying him, we're trying to befriend him," Blaine says, eyebrows furrowing adorably.
"We'll stay away from the middle," Kurt reassures Blaine, sitting down at the edge of the tub and then sliding into the water. "And you can hold onto me."
"I was hoping you'd say that," Blaine says, sliding into the water carefully and then moaning obscenely as he slowly sinks down until he's in the water up to his neck. "It's so warm," Blaine says softly, closing his eyes and letting out a happy sigh.
"I know," Kurt says, swimming out into the middle of the tub and dunking down under the water.
"You have bubbles on your head," Blaine says when Kurt surfaces, wiping water from his eyes and smoothing his hair back. "But oh, now they're gone."
"Stop stating the obvious and come here," Kurt says with a laugh, moving closer. "It's not that deep here, see?" he says, standing up. The water hits him at mid-chest, and Blaine treads forward carefully, wrapping his arms around Kurt's shoulders immediately.
"Hi," he says, pressing as close as he can get.
"Hi," Kurt replies, splashing water up over Blaine's shoulders and back before dropping his hands down to Blaine's hips under the water. "Feeling warmer?"
"Mmm, much," Blaine mumbles, tucking his face into Kurt's neck. Kurt can feel Blaine's warm breath on his skin and it gives Kurt goosebumps, makes him hold Blaine a little tighter. When Kurt feels the unmistakable hard press of Blaine's cock against his stomach, he sucks in a quick breath, hands sliding down to grab at Blaine's ass of their own accord.
"Oh, hello," Blaine says with a grin, turning his head and leaning in to kiss Kurt deeply, shifting his hips forward in a slow grind so that his cock slides up over Kurt's stomach under the water. Kurt gasps a little against Blaine's mouth and his hands squeeze at Blaine's ass automatically. Everything's warm and the air is heavy with the scented bubbles and Kurt almost feels dizzy, tilting his head back to catch his breath and catching a glance of the mermaid peeking at them through her hair. Kurt tries to scoff at her but then Blaine's mouth is on Kurt's neck, sucking hard at the dip of his throat and to the side, and Kurt's hips are twitching forward from the way it feels to have Blaine mouthing hotly at Kurt's sensitive skin before Kurt realizes he's doing it.
"You taste like bubbles," Blaine says, and then in a rougher voice, "You're so hot, Kurt, fuck."
Kurt is caught between flushing and laughing, so he does both, sliding his hands up Blaine's back and starting to rub idly at the muscles there, feeling how tense Blaine still is from hours of flying in the freezing rain. The warm water makes it easier for Kurt to dig his fingers in, makes it slippery for dragging them hard up and down Blaine's back.
"Don't stop," Blaine breathes out, and Kurt really has no intention to, not when he hears how Blaine's breathing has picked up, the soft, pleased noises Blaine's making coming out high and strained.
"Just-- I'm going to rub you now," Kurt says, and Blaine swears, his hips jerking forward so his cock bumps up against Kurt.
"Merlin, yes, please, Kurt." His hips jerk forward again and Kurt chokes out a laugh, hands sliding back down to grab at Blaine's ass for a second to keep him still.
"I meant I'm going to rub your back, Blaine. You're so tense."
"Oh," Blaine mumbles, his hips still trying to work slowly, trying to slide his cock over Kurt's hip now. Blaine's completely hard and Kurt's dimly aware that he is too, that he has been for a while and he wants nothing more than to hold Blaine tightly and move together until they both come. But that can wait - should wait, because this is about Blaine.
The way Blaine's groaning as his muscles loosen up under Kurt's hands spurs him on, his hands sliding easily over Blaine's skin under the water. Blaine's head drops down to Kurt's shoulder, and he lazily rocks forward against Kurt's hip under the water.
"You're the best," Blaine sighs against his neck as Kurt rubs at the lean muscles in Blaine's back. Blaine's panting hotly against his neck now, his cock catching at the jut of Kurt's hips, and Kurt tries to stay focused, even when Blaine starts mouthing intently at the side of his neck again, making delicious heat jolt sharply down Kurt's spine.
It's almost soothing, in a strange kind of way, how he can feel Blaine's muscles starting to relax under his hands and how he can feel the warm water shifting around them from the movement of Blaine's hips, splashing and pushing idle piles of bubbles away until it's just them. Kurt closes his eyes and rests his cheek against Blaine's wet hair, letting himself focus on the smooth expanse of Blaine's skin under his palms and the heavy, sweet scent of the air around them as he works his way down Blaine's back. Blaine's muscles are still bunched up tightly at the small of his back, right above where his ass starts to curve out, and Kurt ignores the way Blaine's cock feels as it rubs against him in favor of digging his fingers in and working the knots out, just pushing Blaine closer to his body as he does so.
"Oh," Blaine breathes out against his neck. "Kurt, please," he says shakily, and Kurt rubs harder, digging his thumbs in, using every trick he knows and enjoys when Blaine uses it on him. "Fuck," Blaine moans out, biting down on Kurt's shoulder as his hips jerk forward roughly. "Come on, oh, oh." Blaine is whispering desperately now, picking his head up to breathe harshly right against Kurt's ear and wrap his legs around Kurt, thighs clenching down around Kurt's hips with muscles strong from years of riding brooms. When Kurt's cock slides between Blaine's legs and against his ass under the water, Kurt can't help it anymore. There's only so much selfless he can be, and he is at his limit. He's actually well past his limit, if he's being honest with himself as a Slytherin.
Kurt turns his head, catching the corner of Blaine's mouth and nipping at it until Blaine starts to kiss him, deep and as desperate as Kurt feels, and Kurt wants to get off now. He swims them toward the edge of the tub, and Blaine grunts against his mouth when Kurt presses him up against the side harder than he'd intended.
"Sorry," Kurt says against his mouth, even though he isn't. Kurt can barely focus on anything other than Blaine's body hot against his under the water and the way Blaine is kissing Kurt back like their lives both depend on it.
"Don't be," Blaine gasps out. "C'mere," he adds after a second, his hands scrambling to get a grip on Kurt's back as his hips rock up.
"What do you want?" Kurt asks shakily, pressing as close as he can get and biting at his own lip to keep from groaning when his cock rubs against Blaine's ass again. All he can think right now is more, so he's going to need Blaine to work with him here.
"Just, more," Blaine groans out desperately, and, well. There goes that.
"Blaine, I--" Kurt finally makes himself pull back, makes his hips stop sliding forward because the friction on his cock is making everything else a hot blur. Right, thoughts. Kurt can do this. "Stop with the humping and talk to me," Kurt gasps out with a short laugh, hands sliding down to Blaine's hips to try to hold him still for a minute.
"Sorry, sorry," Blaine groans, having the decency to look a little sheepish when he blinks up at Kurt, eyes gone all dark and hazy, his curls wild where they're sticking wetly to his forehead. Kurt brings his hand up and brushes Blaine's hair back with a thumb, cupping his face and kissing him slow and open-mouthed and somehow the water's still so warm, the bubbles still floating around them. Kurt pulls back just to tip his forehead against Blaine's, breathing heavily with him for a few seconds before he asks, "What do you want, Blaine? We can't-- I don't have what we need, not for that, I mean, but there are other-- Do you want my mouth?" Kurt asks, cutting himself off when he sees Blaine's eyes watching his lips.
"Yes, but--" Blaine shakes his head quickly, water droplets going everywhere and it makes Kurt smile. "No, no, then I will definitely drown. Or you will drown. Someone will drown and it will kill the mood, just-- oh," he says, his eyes going wide. "Fucking hell, do you remember that time in the back of the Quidditch locker room, when you jerked both of us off at the same time?" Blaine asks in a rush, face flushed red enough for Kurt to notice but he isn't sure if it's from the warm water or the memory of that time in the locker room.
"Yeah," Kurt replies breathlessly, stomach already twisting up tight with excitement. "I can do that, of course. Do you want to--"
"Like this," Blaine says softly, almost shyly, and his arms tighten back around Kurt's shoulders, clinging and leaning forward so his lips can brush over Kurt's ear when he says, "Please, just like this."
"Fuck," Kurt whines, pressing Blaine's back up against the side of the tub again and reaching down between them, smiling stupidly when they both hiss at the touch of Kurt's hand circling around their cocks, pressing them together in his grip. Blaine opens his mouth to suck at Kurt's earlobe, teeth dragging over it as he pulls back, and Kurt shudders and squeezes hard around them both, jerking his hand up and down in a fast rhythm from the start. "Blaine, fuck."
"Believe me, I'm well aware," Blaine says faintly, and Kurt laughs, tilting his head to the side so Blaine can kiss at the sensitive skin right under Kurt's ear while Kurt jerks them off, feeling the way Blaine's starting to move his hips in time with Kurt's hand. "Kurt, oh," Blaine breathes into his ear, his fingers tightening on Kurt's skin, digging into his shoulders. "I'm already so close, how do you do that?"
"Magic," Kurt rasps out, moving his hand over them even faster as Blaine laughs breathlessly. Kurt's arm is starting to burn from the effort but he's so close, they're so close, and Kurt can feel the muscles in his thighs start to twitch when Blaine kisses wetly at Kurt's jaw and slides a hand up the back of his neck, his fingers tangling in Kurt's wet hair and tugging a little. "That's cheating," Kurt gasps brokenly, his hips jerking up into his hand at the sting.
"I know," Blaine says, dragging his teeth over the shell of Kurt's ear - another dirty trick, and seriously, how is Blaine not a Slytherin? - and panting hotly into his ear, "Come on, Kurt. Come on, fuck, I'm going to come, I have to, your hand." Blaine always babbles during sex - rambling, stream-of-consciousness stuff that can get surprisingly dirty, and Kurt's only a little embarrassed about much he loves it, how it gets him worked up and desperate. He squeezes his hand tight around them both, rubbing beneath the head of Blaine's cock to push him over the edge.
"So come on then," Kurt says with a growl, leaning in and tilting his head so he can press his mouth hard against Blaine's, all teeth and tongue and muffled moans and then Blaine's coming, going impossibly still where he's clinging to Kurt until he starts to shudder and gasp out for breath, hips jerking forward sharply. Kurt can just barely feel it over his hand under the water, the way the tip of Blaine's cock gets slick in a different way, and before Kurt can do anything Blaine is surging forward and burying his face into Kurt's neck, sucking hard at the skin right where Kurt's neck meets his shoulder.
Kurt chokes out a startled gasp and squeezes his eyes shut at the onslaught of heat shooting straight through his belly, down to his cock, making the ache there twist up tighter and tighter. He keeps his hand over both their cocks, jerking hard even as Blaine starts to go soft, but Blaine just whimpers where his mouth is open over Kurt's neck and then that's it, Kurt's coming, heat rushing through his body and legs buckling as he shudders forward into his own hand. He comes hard, choking out moans that he can barely hear over the loud rushing in his ears.
"Whoa," Blaine says breathlessly, leaning back against the wall and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist, holding him up when Kurt starts to slip down into the water. "Please don't drown."
"But my legs don't work," Kurt says, his voice still shaky.
"I've got you," Blaine says softly, letting Kurt settle in against his chest. Kurt zones out for a while, listening as Blaine's heart slows down from the fast pounding and evens out into a steady rhythm beneath his ear. Blaine's petting at his hair, and Kurt's warm and happy and sleepy and he never wants to move again.
"Don't worry, by the way," Blaine says after a few more minutes. "I forgive you." Well okay then, that will get him moving.
"For what," Kurt says, picking his head up from Blaine's shoulder to glare at him. "I've been nothing but nice to you, Blaine Anderson, or did you already forget the orgasm you just had?"
"I forgive you for not letting me in on this whole awesome secret orgasm bathroom thing," Blaine says, swatting at Kurt's shoulder.
"Oh, that," Kurt says, letting his head drop back to Blaine's chest. "A boy has to have some secrets," Kurt mumbles, kissing at Blaine's collarbone in apology.
"It's okay," Blaine says. "You're going to make it up to me."
"Oh really?" Kurt asks, tilting his head up again to look at Blaine.
"Yep," Blaine says, kissing his nose. "Because now that I know it's here, this is how I expect to spend every Tuesday and Thursday after Quidditch practice."
"Is that right, Blaine Hufflepuff?" Kurt asks forcing himself to move so he can slide up Blaine's body. "What's in it for me?"
"You are such a Slytherin," Blaine laughs, squeezing Kurt around the waist. "Did you already forget the orgasm you just had?"
"Oh, right," Kurt says, grinning at him. Blaine's still soft against Kurt's thigh, and Kurt is still pretty firmly in his happy, sleepy post-coital mood, but it does seem like a shame to stop at round one when they have the bathroom all to themselves like this and Kurt's skin hasn't started to prune yet. "Maybe you should remind me, just in case," Kurt says, smirking up at Blaine as the mermaid peeks at them from behind her hair and giggles.
"Wait," Blaine says, looking over at her with wide eyes. "Was the mermaid watching us this entire time?" He starts nervously gathering bubbles toward them, trying to make sure they're relatively well covered as the mermaid giggles again and waves her fingers at them.
"Give her a break, Blaine, the poor thing's stuck in a stained glass window all the time," Kurt says. "She could use a little excitement."
"Pervert," Blaine says, splashing water up Kurt's back and Kurt gasps in mock outrage and scoops up a handful of bubbles, rubbing them into Blaine's hair in retaliation.
Author: skintightsocks
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine (background Brittany/Santana)
Word Count: 3,900+
Summary: "I'm dying," Blaine says once he gets close enough for Kurt to hear him over the wind. "I swear that if the rest of the warbler choir is in the baths again because of the good acoustics, I'm going to turn them all into canaries."
Spoilers: none
Warnings: Sex between two characters who are under 18 but of the legal age of consent.
Author Notes: This is fic 4 of 7 of our HP!AU. Previous parts can be found here. It was a real sacrifice, watching that GoF clip of Harry in the bath again and again to help with accuracy, but we did what we had to for the cause. :D (You are a pervert, fallintosilence. A pervert. -boweryd)
Blaine looks like a drowned puppy. Kurt knew Blaine had Quidditch practice but he'd been working on homework in the library and hadn't realized just how hard it was raining until he finally glanced out the window. He's been waiting for Blaine outside the castle doors, pressed into the small dry space allotted by the overhang. Blaine's trudging toward him, soaking wet and covered in mud, and Kurt casts a quick Scourgify on Blaine as soon as he's near enough. He thinks about attempting to use a drying spell, but Blaine is well and truly soaked, his teeth chattering from the cold.
"I'm dying," Blaine says once he gets close enough for Kurt to hear him over the wind. "I swear that if the rest of the warbler choir is in the baths again because of the good acoustics, I'm going to turn them all into canaries."
"You're adorable," Kurt says, leaning forward carefully to kiss the cold, red tip of Blaine's nose, "and very intimidating. But I have a better idea, follow me."
"Where are we going?" Blaine asks, squelching along behind him.
"The Prefects' bathroom is much nicer, and also closer," Kurt says.
"But you're not a Prefect, and I'm not the captain of Hufflepuff's Quidditch team," Blaine says from behind him, his teeth still chattering. Kurt wants to attempt a warming charm, but they tend to be incredibly temperamental for him and the last time he tried one he nearly set his hair on fire.
"I know that," Kurt says. "Mike Chang is the captain and you guys have mandatory Friday group hugs. I listen when you talk, you know."
"Even when I talk about Quidditch?" Blaine asks, his voice going soft and fond. "That means so much, Kurt."
"Yes, yes, I'm an awesome boyfriend," Kurt says, rounding the statue of Boris the Bewildered and saying, "fizzy sensations" to the door. It swings open easily, and Blaine follows him through slowly, looking around in awe.
"Whoa," Blaine says. "This place is gorgeous."
"I know, right?" Kurt says, shutting the door behind them and whispering a quick spell to alert anyone else stopping by that the bathroom is occupied before he turns around and starts helping Blaine out of his wet Quidditch robes. "I stopped using the regular baths once I heard about it in second year."
"How on earth did you get in?" Blaine asks. "Did Rachel give you the password?"
"Well, now she does," Kurt says. "But it's incredibly easy to enchant a statue, and Boris is quite chatty."
"You are such a Slytherin," Blaine says, grinning at Kurt and working at the laces of his pants while Kurt kneels down to take off his shin pads.
"Oh my, things sure are getting spicy in here!"
"Go away, Suzy," Kurt calls over his shoulder, rolling his eyes up at Blaine. She's been creepily perving on him in the bath since Kurt was a third year, so he's well used to the weirdness of relaxing in a hot tub only to have Suzy Pepper drift out of the nearest toilet and start talking about his heat factor and how she's had some very spicy things down her throat.
Kurt knows. Everyone knows. She's still used as a cautionary tale about eating things from the Forbidden Forest.
"Finally brought your boy-toy for a dip, huh?" Suzy asks, floating over and skimming her translucent hands over Blaine's shoulders as Blaine takes off his gloves. "I thought you liked them tall."
"Shut it, Pepper," Kurt snaps. The last thing he needs is yet another round of Blaine's Napoleon complex drama. Last time he'd tried to cast a lengthening charm on his legs, and Santana had told the entire school he was aiming for his penis.
"You know, I've seen lots of things happen in this bathroom," Suzy says, trailing her hand down Blaine's chest. "I'm very discreet."
"Please stop doing that," Blaine says tightly as she leans her head on his shoulder.
"If you don't get your ghost hands off my boyfriend right this second I will make sure that you never creepily sniff another pepper again," Kurt hisses. "My friend Brittany practically lives with the house elves, I can make it happen."
"The house elves love me," Suzy spits.
"No they don't, they think you're a creepy pepper sniffer just like everyone else," Kurt says. "Don't make me talk to Brittany."
"Brittany," Suzy says, floating up and perching on top of the faucets over the bath. "Blonde, tall, daffy? Because one time she came in here with that angry Slytherin girl, and the things I saw," she says, her voice getting scary and intense. "It would turn a bell pepper into a serrano."
"That's nice," Kurt says. "Now leave before I flush you."
"You're no fun," Suzy says, floating toward the nearest toilet with a pout. "Maybe I'll go see what's going in Professor Schuester's bathroom. He is just the hottest little habanero."
"You're disgusting, Pepper," Kurt says as she dives into the toilet. "Disgusting."
"She won't come back, right?" Blaine asks warily, his pants unlaced but still up around his waist as he kicks off his shoes, and Kurt shrugs.
"Usually she doesn't. Arms up," Kurt says, grabbing hold of the bottom of Blaine's sweater and tugging the soaked thing up over Blaine's head, watching the way his muscles shift under skin as Blaine stretches his arms up. The sight of Blaine without clothes on isn't especially new, but Kurt's come to realize it never gets less thrilling, being able to stare at his boyfriend shamelessly like this, at the way his broad shoulders taper down into lean torso and down even farther to hipbones that jut out, and coarse, dark hair that trails down his lower stomach and into his underwear.
"You should take these off now," Kurt says quietly with his fingertips on the waistband of Blaine's underwear, and he's only blushing a little as he presses in close to Blaine and kisses him slow and soft before pulling back. It takes Blaine a second before he blinks his eyes back open and gives Kurt a warm smile, reaching out automatically to try to tug Kurt back in, to lean up and kiss him again. Kurt laughs, this time darting in and kissing Blaine's forehead. "I mean it, get naked," Kurt growls, sneaking a quick look down at the obvious shape of Blaine's cock through his soaked-sheer underwear.
Kurt turns around before his fingers find themselves grabbing at Blaine's hips like they always seem to do. He heads for the taps and carefully turns on his favorite scents, watching the bubbles pour out, each stream of bubbles a different color. The giant tub fills up fast and Kurt lets himself get momentarily distracted flipping his hair out of his eyes in time with the mermaid in the stained glass window.
"That smells wonderful but it looks deep," Blaine says, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist. He's freezing, his skin clammy, and Kurt turns around, dropping another kiss on Blaine's forehead before he starts to take off his own clothes, carefully folding them onto a table.
"It's only really deep in the middle," Kurt says, slapping Blaine's hand away when he tries to get a hand down the back of Kurt's underwear. "It's fine, Blaine. It's only about seven feet deep anyway, you won't drown."
"Even if I can't swim?" Blaine asks nervously.
"You can't swim?" Kurt asks, blinking. "Of course you can swim."
"I really can't," Blaine says, looking warily at the tub as Kurt turns the taps off.
"Why do you and Sam constantly annoy the Giant Squid, then? That's just asking for trouble."
"We're not annoying him, we're trying to befriend him," Blaine says, eyebrows furrowing adorably.
"We'll stay away from the middle," Kurt reassures Blaine, sitting down at the edge of the tub and then sliding into the water. "And you can hold onto me."
"I was hoping you'd say that," Blaine says, sliding into the water carefully and then moaning obscenely as he slowly sinks down until he's in the water up to his neck. "It's so warm," Blaine says softly, closing his eyes and letting out a happy sigh.
"I know," Kurt says, swimming out into the middle of the tub and dunking down under the water.
"You have bubbles on your head," Blaine says when Kurt surfaces, wiping water from his eyes and smoothing his hair back. "But oh, now they're gone."
"Stop stating the obvious and come here," Kurt says with a laugh, moving closer. "It's not that deep here, see?" he says, standing up. The water hits him at mid-chest, and Blaine treads forward carefully, wrapping his arms around Kurt's shoulders immediately.
"Hi," he says, pressing as close as he can get.
"Hi," Kurt replies, splashing water up over Blaine's shoulders and back before dropping his hands down to Blaine's hips under the water. "Feeling warmer?"
"Mmm, much," Blaine mumbles, tucking his face into Kurt's neck. Kurt can feel Blaine's warm breath on his skin and it gives Kurt goosebumps, makes him hold Blaine a little tighter. When Kurt feels the unmistakable hard press of Blaine's cock against his stomach, he sucks in a quick breath, hands sliding down to grab at Blaine's ass of their own accord.
"Oh, hello," Blaine says with a grin, turning his head and leaning in to kiss Kurt deeply, shifting his hips forward in a slow grind so that his cock slides up over Kurt's stomach under the water. Kurt gasps a little against Blaine's mouth and his hands squeeze at Blaine's ass automatically. Everything's warm and the air is heavy with the scented bubbles and Kurt almost feels dizzy, tilting his head back to catch his breath and catching a glance of the mermaid peeking at them through her hair. Kurt tries to scoff at her but then Blaine's mouth is on Kurt's neck, sucking hard at the dip of his throat and to the side, and Kurt's hips are twitching forward from the way it feels to have Blaine mouthing hotly at Kurt's sensitive skin before Kurt realizes he's doing it.
"You taste like bubbles," Blaine says, and then in a rougher voice, "You're so hot, Kurt, fuck."
Kurt is caught between flushing and laughing, so he does both, sliding his hands up Blaine's back and starting to rub idly at the muscles there, feeling how tense Blaine still is from hours of flying in the freezing rain. The warm water makes it easier for Kurt to dig his fingers in, makes it slippery for dragging them hard up and down Blaine's back.
"Don't stop," Blaine breathes out, and Kurt really has no intention to, not when he hears how Blaine's breathing has picked up, the soft, pleased noises Blaine's making coming out high and strained.
"Just-- I'm going to rub you now," Kurt says, and Blaine swears, his hips jerking forward so his cock bumps up against Kurt.
"Merlin, yes, please, Kurt." His hips jerk forward again and Kurt chokes out a laugh, hands sliding back down to grab at Blaine's ass for a second to keep him still.
"I meant I'm going to rub your back, Blaine. You're so tense."
"Oh," Blaine mumbles, his hips still trying to work slowly, trying to slide his cock over Kurt's hip now. Blaine's completely hard and Kurt's dimly aware that he is too, that he has been for a while and he wants nothing more than to hold Blaine tightly and move together until they both come. But that can wait - should wait, because this is about Blaine.
The way Blaine's groaning as his muscles loosen up under Kurt's hands spurs him on, his hands sliding easily over Blaine's skin under the water. Blaine's head drops down to Kurt's shoulder, and he lazily rocks forward against Kurt's hip under the water.
"You're the best," Blaine sighs against his neck as Kurt rubs at the lean muscles in Blaine's back. Blaine's panting hotly against his neck now, his cock catching at the jut of Kurt's hips, and Kurt tries to stay focused, even when Blaine starts mouthing intently at the side of his neck again, making delicious heat jolt sharply down Kurt's spine.
It's almost soothing, in a strange kind of way, how he can feel Blaine's muscles starting to relax under his hands and how he can feel the warm water shifting around them from the movement of Blaine's hips, splashing and pushing idle piles of bubbles away until it's just them. Kurt closes his eyes and rests his cheek against Blaine's wet hair, letting himself focus on the smooth expanse of Blaine's skin under his palms and the heavy, sweet scent of the air around them as he works his way down Blaine's back. Blaine's muscles are still bunched up tightly at the small of his back, right above where his ass starts to curve out, and Kurt ignores the way Blaine's cock feels as it rubs against him in favor of digging his fingers in and working the knots out, just pushing Blaine closer to his body as he does so.
"Oh," Blaine breathes out against his neck. "Kurt, please," he says shakily, and Kurt rubs harder, digging his thumbs in, using every trick he knows and enjoys when Blaine uses it on him. "Fuck," Blaine moans out, biting down on Kurt's shoulder as his hips jerk forward roughly. "Come on, oh, oh." Blaine is whispering desperately now, picking his head up to breathe harshly right against Kurt's ear and wrap his legs around Kurt, thighs clenching down around Kurt's hips with muscles strong from years of riding brooms. When Kurt's cock slides between Blaine's legs and against his ass under the water, Kurt can't help it anymore. There's only so much selfless he can be, and he is at his limit. He's actually well past his limit, if he's being honest with himself as a Slytherin.
Kurt turns his head, catching the corner of Blaine's mouth and nipping at it until Blaine starts to kiss him, deep and as desperate as Kurt feels, and Kurt wants to get off now. He swims them toward the edge of the tub, and Blaine grunts against his mouth when Kurt presses him up against the side harder than he'd intended.
"Sorry," Kurt says against his mouth, even though he isn't. Kurt can barely focus on anything other than Blaine's body hot against his under the water and the way Blaine is kissing Kurt back like their lives both depend on it.
"Don't be," Blaine gasps out. "C'mere," he adds after a second, his hands scrambling to get a grip on Kurt's back as his hips rock up.
"What do you want?" Kurt asks shakily, pressing as close as he can get and biting at his own lip to keep from groaning when his cock rubs against Blaine's ass again. All he can think right now is more, so he's going to need Blaine to work with him here.
"Just, more," Blaine groans out desperately, and, well. There goes that.
"Blaine, I--" Kurt finally makes himself pull back, makes his hips stop sliding forward because the friction on his cock is making everything else a hot blur. Right, thoughts. Kurt can do this. "Stop with the humping and talk to me," Kurt gasps out with a short laugh, hands sliding down to Blaine's hips to try to hold him still for a minute.
"Sorry, sorry," Blaine groans, having the decency to look a little sheepish when he blinks up at Kurt, eyes gone all dark and hazy, his curls wild where they're sticking wetly to his forehead. Kurt brings his hand up and brushes Blaine's hair back with a thumb, cupping his face and kissing him slow and open-mouthed and somehow the water's still so warm, the bubbles still floating around them. Kurt pulls back just to tip his forehead against Blaine's, breathing heavily with him for a few seconds before he asks, "What do you want, Blaine? We can't-- I don't have what we need, not for that, I mean, but there are other-- Do you want my mouth?" Kurt asks, cutting himself off when he sees Blaine's eyes watching his lips.
"Yes, but--" Blaine shakes his head quickly, water droplets going everywhere and it makes Kurt smile. "No, no, then I will definitely drown. Or you will drown. Someone will drown and it will kill the mood, just-- oh," he says, his eyes going wide. "Fucking hell, do you remember that time in the back of the Quidditch locker room, when you jerked both of us off at the same time?" Blaine asks in a rush, face flushed red enough for Kurt to notice but he isn't sure if it's from the warm water or the memory of that time in the locker room.
"Yeah," Kurt replies breathlessly, stomach already twisting up tight with excitement. "I can do that, of course. Do you want to--"
"Like this," Blaine says softly, almost shyly, and his arms tighten back around Kurt's shoulders, clinging and leaning forward so his lips can brush over Kurt's ear when he says, "Please, just like this."
"Fuck," Kurt whines, pressing Blaine's back up against the side of the tub again and reaching down between them, smiling stupidly when they both hiss at the touch of Kurt's hand circling around their cocks, pressing them together in his grip. Blaine opens his mouth to suck at Kurt's earlobe, teeth dragging over it as he pulls back, and Kurt shudders and squeezes hard around them both, jerking his hand up and down in a fast rhythm from the start. "Blaine, fuck."
"Believe me, I'm well aware," Blaine says faintly, and Kurt laughs, tilting his head to the side so Blaine can kiss at the sensitive skin right under Kurt's ear while Kurt jerks them off, feeling the way Blaine's starting to move his hips in time with Kurt's hand. "Kurt, oh," Blaine breathes into his ear, his fingers tightening on Kurt's skin, digging into his shoulders. "I'm already so close, how do you do that?"
"Magic," Kurt rasps out, moving his hand over them even faster as Blaine laughs breathlessly. Kurt's arm is starting to burn from the effort but he's so close, they're so close, and Kurt can feel the muscles in his thighs start to twitch when Blaine kisses wetly at Kurt's jaw and slides a hand up the back of his neck, his fingers tangling in Kurt's wet hair and tugging a little. "That's cheating," Kurt gasps brokenly, his hips jerking up into his hand at the sting.
"I know," Blaine says, dragging his teeth over the shell of Kurt's ear - another dirty trick, and seriously, how is Blaine not a Slytherin? - and panting hotly into his ear, "Come on, Kurt. Come on, fuck, I'm going to come, I have to, your hand." Blaine always babbles during sex - rambling, stream-of-consciousness stuff that can get surprisingly dirty, and Kurt's only a little embarrassed about much he loves it, how it gets him worked up and desperate. He squeezes his hand tight around them both, rubbing beneath the head of Blaine's cock to push him over the edge.
"So come on then," Kurt says with a growl, leaning in and tilting his head so he can press his mouth hard against Blaine's, all teeth and tongue and muffled moans and then Blaine's coming, going impossibly still where he's clinging to Kurt until he starts to shudder and gasp out for breath, hips jerking forward sharply. Kurt can just barely feel it over his hand under the water, the way the tip of Blaine's cock gets slick in a different way, and before Kurt can do anything Blaine is surging forward and burying his face into Kurt's neck, sucking hard at the skin right where Kurt's neck meets his shoulder.
Kurt chokes out a startled gasp and squeezes his eyes shut at the onslaught of heat shooting straight through his belly, down to his cock, making the ache there twist up tighter and tighter. He keeps his hand over both their cocks, jerking hard even as Blaine starts to go soft, but Blaine just whimpers where his mouth is open over Kurt's neck and then that's it, Kurt's coming, heat rushing through his body and legs buckling as he shudders forward into his own hand. He comes hard, choking out moans that he can barely hear over the loud rushing in his ears.
"Whoa," Blaine says breathlessly, leaning back against the wall and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist, holding him up when Kurt starts to slip down into the water. "Please don't drown."
"But my legs don't work," Kurt says, his voice still shaky.
"I've got you," Blaine says softly, letting Kurt settle in against his chest. Kurt zones out for a while, listening as Blaine's heart slows down from the fast pounding and evens out into a steady rhythm beneath his ear. Blaine's petting at his hair, and Kurt's warm and happy and sleepy and he never wants to move again.
"Don't worry, by the way," Blaine says after a few more minutes. "I forgive you." Well okay then, that will get him moving.
"For what," Kurt says, picking his head up from Blaine's shoulder to glare at him. "I've been nothing but nice to you, Blaine Anderson, or did you already forget the orgasm you just had?"
"I forgive you for not letting me in on this whole awesome secret orgasm bathroom thing," Blaine says, swatting at Kurt's shoulder.
"Oh, that," Kurt says, letting his head drop back to Blaine's chest. "A boy has to have some secrets," Kurt mumbles, kissing at Blaine's collarbone in apology.
"It's okay," Blaine says. "You're going to make it up to me."
"Oh really?" Kurt asks, tilting his head up again to look at Blaine.
"Yep," Blaine says, kissing his nose. "Because now that I know it's here, this is how I expect to spend every Tuesday and Thursday after Quidditch practice."
"Is that right, Blaine Hufflepuff?" Kurt asks forcing himself to move so he can slide up Blaine's body. "What's in it for me?"
"You are such a Slytherin," Blaine laughs, squeezing Kurt around the waist. "Did you already forget the orgasm you just had?"
"Oh, right," Kurt says, grinning at him. Blaine's still soft against Kurt's thigh, and Kurt is still pretty firmly in his happy, sleepy post-coital mood, but it does seem like a shame to stop at round one when they have the bathroom all to themselves like this and Kurt's skin hasn't started to prune yet. "Maybe you should remind me, just in case," Kurt says, smirking up at Blaine as the mermaid peeks at them from behind her hair and giggles.
"Wait," Blaine says, looking over at her with wide eyes. "Was the mermaid watching us this entire time?" He starts nervously gathering bubbles toward them, trying to make sure they're relatively well covered as the mermaid giggles again and waves her fingers at them.
"Give her a break, Blaine, the poor thing's stuck in a stained glass window all the time," Kurt says. "She could use a little excitement."
"Pervert," Blaine says, splashing water up Kurt's back and Kurt gasps in mock outrage and scoops up a handful of bubbles, rubbing them into Blaine's hair in retaliation.