Tick, tick, tick…

[skjalf]

Since I finished writing the last update been told when dad sees his doctor again Tuesday ‘if he is offered time off again he will take it’ as a ‘warning’ from mum. He is almost always offered time off… previously my father and his therapist arranged for him to take a day or two off every working week to help him stay in work

Comments

[wear_your_rue]

"Thinking my gods should judge me by my ability to function and make do and even better, to thrive. I haven’t cried for weeks, but when I did felt like I couldn’t stop."

I think that you're being a bit too hard on yourself. I know the importance of strength, but you are still human. Allowing yourself to cry when you need to, even if it's alone in private, is a release, and you require it at times. It's not weakness, it's a human mechanism that it's not fair to judge yourself so critically for. Praying for peace or strength sounds perfectly reasonable, and though I can't presume to know what the gods think, I can't imagine you'd be seen as undeserving when you've held together on your own through so much already.