Nonsensical rambling
I'm sick and I'm feeling a little blah, so I started chatting up some friends.
I'm the kind of person that don't have a lot of exciting things in my life to share, so I share when there is, like a habit.
Then someone said something that hit me like a brick, right across the face *THUD*
It wasn't so much that he said something right, or he said something wrong, but the way he said it.
Truth be told, I didn't know how to handle that kind of apathy, and I was more than a little taken aback at the time it happened.
It felt personal at that point in time, then as I thought about it, it became less personal, and I felt slightly better about it.
What's written below has little to do with this short prologue.
In fact, it doesn't start anywhere, or lead anywhere in particular either.
Just some things that flew through my mind as I walked back home, in this particular state of mind.
There are times when you experience some things, religion, birth, death, that kind of things, and it really affects you.
There are times when you don't, for the same kind of things.
Say you're a smoker and:
You read about someone dying of lung cancer, you don't think too much of it.
Your friend's relative died of lung cancer, you still don't think too much of it.
Your friend/relative died of lung cancer, you might be shocked, saddened, or affected in various ways, depending on what kind of person you are. You might even consider quitting.
Or chances are, you'll continue smoking.
You get a smoker's cough, you don't think too much of it.
You get admitted for smoking related complications, you start to worry a little and the thought of quitting cross your mind.
You get a near death encounter due to smoking complications, quitting suddenly become a serious consideration.
Or you'll continue smoking anyway.
How close do we have to come to death before it affects us?
Or maybe "mere" brushes with death don't count?
Does it have to be death before it means something?
Maybe we're all too jaded.
Maybe we don't want to come across as an alarmist.
Maybe we want to come across as an "unshakeable person" cos we've "seen it all"
Or for whatever reasons, we shrug off such things.
I'm afraid of this apathy and I don't know why.
Maybe I do know why, but I'm too exhausted to wrestle with it at the moment.