(no subject)
all right, once again i update while i'm in a bad mood. but today is different. because the first thing i thought when i woke up this morning is "this is the only shot at today i get." (and i know that sounds corny and untrue, but it actually was. i was miserably thinking how i would rather stay cuddled under my blankets with my teddy and my pillows where nobody can hurt me and ill stay safe and warm all day. and then... enter the above thought.) and this is the only time i will ever get to be a high school girl. and i'm going to live it!! im going to live these next two and a half years like they were meant to be lived... wildly, crazily, ineffibly MYSELF. i mean, once we graduate, everything will change for forever. Never again will we get to have our perfectly scheduled days, where walking a different route to class is a big deal, and lunch with all of our friends and basketball games and the friendly relationships that exist solely between high school teacher and student. In corporate world, never will we be able to wear jeans and flip flops every day, or eat cereal out of a ziploc bag all day, or have side-ponytail day or 50's day or twirly skirt day. you can't come home early and read on the porch swing or walk down the street to visit with your best friend, or get two months off for summer. you won't get to go to Lake Lanier and Six Flags and Stone Mountain after school on finals days, or skip out on Senior Skip Day, or harrass the freshies on Freshman Mark Day, or wear legwarmers and spandex and scrunchies and just be 'old-school'. You won't have National History Club or Literary Team. You won't share a locker with your best friend or tape balloons to your friends lockers on their birthday, or write notes on your teachers' boards, or run out of history to spin in circles until you fall down. Friday nights won't be Twister nights, and the movies watched on Saturdays won't be Disney movies. But right now, they are. Right now, everything is right with the world. it all fits, because i'm exactly where i was meant to be. and this is what it means to be happy. not to have a good day, or get lots of hugs, but to be exactly where you should be. to fit perfectly into your place in this world.
You're waiting here for someone else to break you from the inside
You've been so composed
We all know there's always something tearing you apart
It's always so much longer than you counted on
And it hits you so much harder then you thought
But you don't worry, you don't worry
Cause darling, you've got so much soul
Darling, you've got so much soul
It's a lovely day tomorrow, tomorrow is a lovely day, Come and feast your tear-dimmed eyes on tomorrow's clear blue skies, If today your heart is weary, if every little thing looks gray, Just forget your troubles and learn to say, Tomorrow is a lovely day.