bored off my ass. been mind-numbingly bored for the last 3 hours. the funniest part of all of this is it's 11:10 pm and i've been up for LESS THAN NINE HOURS! please, kill me now
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He just goes missing. The first couple of times it happened I didn't know what was going on and so naturally having feelings about him I began to worry if he was physically okay. Now that I know the signs I don't worry so much if he's alive or not because I know he's okay. It's just still hard for me to mentally not worry about it having something to do with me. It's pretty typical for us to play phone tag given the different time zones though so I don't realize until the second day of no returned phone calls what's going on when he's going through his time. I fully understand why he goes through it though as we have similiar personality types and whatnot. The distance just makes it hard because the only forms of communication are phone calls, IMs, emails and letters/packages. So if he doesn't want to talk for whatever reason all he has to do is not respond to those or not pick up the phone. At least if we were in each other's physical presence I could look at him and "know" and my mind can find solace. Heart can find it too.
I had a guy who was like that, and I found it to be respectless and rude and once we had the talk about how I FELT about his dissapearances, he made sure to tell me, even if only very quick, that he had to go in to his own solitude for a bit and he would be back once his head was sorted. That - I could accept with no problem....but when he just went missing on me, I just got sad and HIS problem became MY problem. And I really have enough problems of my own! I think you should have that talk with your guy, really I do...because if he cares for you, he should KNOW the impact he has on you, good AND bad.
You know I actually had those exact same thoughts as my immediate reaction, but then I mulled it over a bit and realized that at this point in time letting him know how it affects me is an excellent idea but to ask/make the expectation for him to alert me when the cycle is beginning or when he's not feeling social seems quite inappropriate. Some people are okay with asking that much early on, but in my opinion that's kinda "high maintenance" and puts another pressure on him that he didn't have before. Obviously his anti-social times stem from somewhere and I'm willing to bet that it's a coping mechanism via escapism...asking him to alert me would only add to his problems
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I think you should have that talk with your guy, really I do...because if he cares for you, he should KNOW the impact he has on you, good AND bad.
Good luck! :)
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