Fighting the Words
FIGHTING THE WORDS;; PG-13
I was inspired to write a fanfic about Heechul from ZE:A's crush on Jessica after his numerous confessions to her and this was my interpretation of saying 'She's Just Not That Into You...'
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Heechul smiles. He tries to stop his heart from lunging out of his chest, but he knows he can’t do anything about the queasiness circling in his stomach. She’s walking in his direction, her hair flipping behind her with every step, her shoes clicking with every shut, her cheeks flushing with every breath. And she’s only a few feet from him now. Heechul forgets everything that he prepared to say for her.
“H-h-hi,” he manages to sputter out as Siwan punches him in the stomach, forcing him to greet her. Heechul bows, scared to make eye-contact with her up and close.
She’s right in front of him. Heechul can see her petite toes wriggle in her heels. Her feet are pale and veiny. He resists the urge to bend over completely and kiss them.
“Hello,” Jessica says. Heechul immediately stands up straight. He’s taller than her and he can see the dark roots from the crown of her blonde head at this angle. She looks up at him, smiling half-politely, half-curious.
“Hi, I’m Jung Heechul, I-I-I-I” Heechul can’t finish his sentence. He doesn’t even understand the words coming out of his mouth, can’t understand that the high pitched voice in the hallway backstage is actually his, that Siwan is snickering right next to him; at him.
“I know who you are. You guys did great out there tonight.” Heechul can’t say anything back. He stops staring at her, and looks at Siwan inadvertently. Help?
“Oh, yeah thank you. You guys were awesome. We’re really big fans,” Siwan says nonchalantly, his words fluid and calm. “Especially this guy.”
Heechul feels himself pushed forwards towards Jessica as Siwan walks away from the scene. He trips a little and blushes. Fuck you, Siwan. He gathers the courage to look up at her again. She’s smiling. Her teeth stick out cutely, and he wonders what it’s like to kiss her.
“Ah, thank you.”
“Fighting!” Fighting? Did he just tell her fighting? He can’t believe his word vomit. Heechul feels like he’s going to actually throw up and he chokes on his own tongue. Jessica starts inching away backwards, her smile becoming more thin and cautious. “I-I mean, I’m just a big fan of you, you know,”
Heechul looks down again. This will be easier if he just doesn’t look into her soft, inviting eyes. He takes a breath. It’s now or never. Just confess. He’s done it on TV before, why can’t he do it with her two steps away from him?
“It’s just, I, I have always thought of you as my ideal type, and like, it’s really an honor to meet you,”
“Ah.”
“And I’ve always wanted to meet you and tell you how pretty you are,”
“Ah, thank you.”
“You’re really pretty, I really hope we can talk to each other in the future,” Heechul hears Jessica let out a little shriek. Is she thrilled at the idea? It’s a happy shriek, he thinks. He sees a pair of combat boots come up behind Jessica’s little, fragile feet, and sees her feet playfully shift around. He looks up. Heechul can’t finish his sentence.
And now Heechul can’t help but stare. He’s much shorter than he is, he’s dripping in sweat and even though he has a shit grinning smile, Heechul can feel his cockiness empowering the hallway backstage. But worst of all, Heechul stares at Jessica whose body has turned toward the intruder. She’s smiling stupidly, she’s punching his stomach slightly, she’s giving him those cold princess eyes of hers. At the other guy.
“Why didn’t you respond to any of my text messages?”
“I don’t carry my cellphone on me all the time, douche.” Her voice is cold and eager. Heechul’s idea of exchanging numbers with Jessica goes out the window.
“Whatever,” Heechul watches as the guy playfully pushes Jessica back, trying to give her attitude but failing. Heechul knew how the guy felt. It’s hard to resist the ice princesses’ charm; it was the story of his life. “Hey, man. You were awesome out there. Heechul, right?”
Heechul feels himself at a loss for words again. The guy’s words are kind and he can tell he means it.
“I’m Jonghyun. I’m in SHINee,”
“Yeah, I know who you are, you have an amazing voice.” Heechul also means the words he says. He hates himself.
“Ah, no. It’s been all hoarse lately, I was flat on a couple of notes out there.” He’s humble. Heechul feels bad for Jonghyun as he motions to his throat, signaling the pain. He looks at Jessica, who is looking up at Jonghyun with very concerned eyes. He would kill for her to look at him like that. He would kill for her to look at him again at all, actually, especially since he’s finally gained the courage to actually look at her without Siwan’s physical abuse.
“No, man. You are really talented, I’m a big fan.” Heechul bows and Jonghyun bows back. They shake hands, and Heechul is envious of Jonghyun’s strong grip. For a short guy, he sure has a lot of upper body strength. “I am jealous of your stage presence.” Is that too honest? Does it sound too gay? What if Jessica thinks he’s gay now? Heechul knows he’s gone overboard with the praising. He’s about five minutes too late to back away from the conversation.
“Thanks man, but I feel like shit. I just want to knock out.” Jonghyun never falters from making eye contact with Heechul. Sign of a real man. He’s being sincere too. Heechul despises it.
“You’re all sweaty and gross,” Jessica remarks. Heechul feels his stomach go for a loop. Her voice is so soft, it probably melts chocolate if it’s near. Warm and gooey. His stomach takes another churn as she takes the back of her bare hand and starts slowly patting Jonghyun’s face, absorbing his sweat with her own skin.
Heechul waits for Jonghyun to make some kind of asshole comment, or to smugly push her shoulders. He never does. Instead, he gives her a little grin, an intimate one. Heechul feels like vomiting again.
“Well, uh, uh, it was great meeting you guys. I hope to see you around again!” Heechul tries to sound enthusiastic. He can hear his voice faltering as he speaks and he’s never felt more embarrassed in his life. The two of them break eye contact with each other and manage to look at his pathetic self again.
“Oh, hey man, we should exchange numbers or something. We could like hang out and stuff.” Is he gay? Why the hell does Jonghyun want his number? Like hell he would hang out with him.
“Oh, for sure man.” Heechul immediately whips out his phone from his back pocket and gives it to Jonghyun. Jonghyun looks at him and gives him a huge smile. He looks like a douche. Jessica was right. Maybe is he gay. Maybe him and Jessica are just BFF’s forever.
Jessica’s looks at Heechul again. She’s giving him an equally huge smile, and her cheeks are flushed. He doesn’t even notice the way she’s inching closer and closer towards Jonghyun. All he sees is the way her eyes are like half-shaped moons and that his heart is skipping every other beat. That can’t be healthy. He doesn’t even remember that Jonghyun is there until he shoves his phone back in his chest.
Except that he didn’t really. He gave it back to him kindly. Douche.
“So I’ll see you around man,” He adds. Douche.
“Yeah, you too.” Heechul tries to smile as he walks away backwards. He can’t seem to turn around, scared to confront Siwan at his terrible rejection.
“Thanks for what you said earlier, Heechul.” Heechul can’t believe his ears. Jessica Jung has just said his name. She uttered his name on those precious lips of hers. His name. His stomach does another lurch. A good one this time. He shifts his eyes away from Jonghyun and looks back at Jessica who bites her lip and winks at him. It’s quick but it’s there, and he’s over the moon, elated. He wants to run up to her and spin her in his arms, and propose to her and have twenty children with her on the spot.
He’s so elated it takes a second for him to register that Jessica’s turning around to face Jonghyun now, and that she’s socking him hard in his chest, and that he’s giving her that douchetastic grin again, and that he’s looking down at her like she’s his, and that he’s wrapping one of his strong upper body arms around her petite bare waist, and that she’s involuntarily shuddering at his touch, but she likes it and she’s leaning into him, despite the fact that there are about twenty people in the hallway with them, and that she looks like she doesn’t care, and Heechul finally comes to a realization that he doesn’t know what those two are, but Jessica Jung certainly isn’t his.
Heechul manages to turn away and walk after he sees her reach up and wipe Jonghyun’s sweat with her hand once more, and he walks away for good.
“Oh, Heechul,” Heechul knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help it. He turns around again, hearing her soft voice, flying like flower petals above the air in a metaphoric high on weed sense, because she said his name. Again.
“Yes?” He weakly sputters out.
“Fighting!” Jessica motions her left arm into a cheerleader victory sign, giving him an encouraging smile. It doesn’t mean anything, because Jonghyun looks at her and copies the arm motion, giving Heechul the same cheeky grin. Douche.
I was inspired to write a fanfic about Heechul from ZE:A's crush on Jessica after his numerous confessions to her and this was my interpretation of saying 'She's Just Not That Into You...'
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Heechul smiles. He tries to stop his heart from lunging out of his chest, but he knows he can’t do anything about the queasiness circling in his stomach. She’s walking in his direction, her hair flipping behind her with every step, her shoes clicking with every shut, her cheeks flushing with every breath. And she’s only a few feet from him now. Heechul forgets everything that he prepared to say for her.
“H-h-hi,” he manages to sputter out as Siwan punches him in the stomach, forcing him to greet her. Heechul bows, scared to make eye-contact with her up and close.
She’s right in front of him. Heechul can see her petite toes wriggle in her heels. Her feet are pale and veiny. He resists the urge to bend over completely and kiss them.
“Hello,” Jessica says. Heechul immediately stands up straight. He’s taller than her and he can see the dark roots from the crown of her blonde head at this angle. She looks up at him, smiling half-politely, half-curious.
“Hi, I’m Jung Heechul, I-I-I-I” Heechul can’t finish his sentence. He doesn’t even understand the words coming out of his mouth, can’t understand that the high pitched voice in the hallway backstage is actually his, that Siwan is snickering right next to him; at him.
“I know who you are. You guys did great out there tonight.” Heechul can’t say anything back. He stops staring at her, and looks at Siwan inadvertently. Help?
“Oh, yeah thank you. You guys were awesome. We’re really big fans,” Siwan says nonchalantly, his words fluid and calm. “Especially this guy.”
Heechul feels himself pushed forwards towards Jessica as Siwan walks away from the scene. He trips a little and blushes. Fuck you, Siwan. He gathers the courage to look up at her again. She’s smiling. Her teeth stick out cutely, and he wonders what it’s like to kiss her.
“Ah, thank you.”
“Fighting!” Fighting? Did he just tell her fighting? He can’t believe his word vomit. Heechul feels like he’s going to actually throw up and he chokes on his own tongue. Jessica starts inching away backwards, her smile becoming more thin and cautious. “I-I mean, I’m just a big fan of you, you know,”
Heechul looks down again. This will be easier if he just doesn’t look into her soft, inviting eyes. He takes a breath. It’s now or never. Just confess. He’s done it on TV before, why can’t he do it with her two steps away from him?
“It’s just, I, I have always thought of you as my ideal type, and like, it’s really an honor to meet you,”
“Ah.”
“And I’ve always wanted to meet you and tell you how pretty you are,”
“Ah, thank you.”
“You’re really pretty, I really hope we can talk to each other in the future,” Heechul hears Jessica let out a little shriek. Is she thrilled at the idea? It’s a happy shriek, he thinks. He sees a pair of combat boots come up behind Jessica’s little, fragile feet, and sees her feet playfully shift around. He looks up. Heechul can’t finish his sentence.
And now Heechul can’t help but stare. He’s much shorter than he is, he’s dripping in sweat and even though he has a shit grinning smile, Heechul can feel his cockiness empowering the hallway backstage. But worst of all, Heechul stares at Jessica whose body has turned toward the intruder. She’s smiling stupidly, she’s punching his stomach slightly, she’s giving him those cold princess eyes of hers. At the other guy.
“Why didn’t you respond to any of my text messages?”
“I don’t carry my cellphone on me all the time, douche.” Her voice is cold and eager. Heechul’s idea of exchanging numbers with Jessica goes out the window.
“Whatever,” Heechul watches as the guy playfully pushes Jessica back, trying to give her attitude but failing. Heechul knew how the guy felt. It’s hard to resist the ice princesses’ charm; it was the story of his life. “Hey, man. You were awesome out there. Heechul, right?”
Heechul feels himself at a loss for words again. The guy’s words are kind and he can tell he means it.
“I’m Jonghyun. I’m in SHINee,”
“Yeah, I know who you are, you have an amazing voice.” Heechul also means the words he says. He hates himself.
“Ah, no. It’s been all hoarse lately, I was flat on a couple of notes out there.” He’s humble. Heechul feels bad for Jonghyun as he motions to his throat, signaling the pain. He looks at Jessica, who is looking up at Jonghyun with very concerned eyes. He would kill for her to look at him like that. He would kill for her to look at him again at all, actually, especially since he’s finally gained the courage to actually look at her without Siwan’s physical abuse.
“No, man. You are really talented, I’m a big fan.” Heechul bows and Jonghyun bows back. They shake hands, and Heechul is envious of Jonghyun’s strong grip. For a short guy, he sure has a lot of upper body strength. “I am jealous of your stage presence.” Is that too honest? Does it sound too gay? What if Jessica thinks he’s gay now? Heechul knows he’s gone overboard with the praising. He’s about five minutes too late to back away from the conversation.
“Thanks man, but I feel like shit. I just want to knock out.” Jonghyun never falters from making eye contact with Heechul. Sign of a real man. He’s being sincere too. Heechul despises it.
“You’re all sweaty and gross,” Jessica remarks. Heechul feels his stomach go for a loop. Her voice is so soft, it probably melts chocolate if it’s near. Warm and gooey. His stomach takes another churn as she takes the back of her bare hand and starts slowly patting Jonghyun’s face, absorbing his sweat with her own skin.
Heechul waits for Jonghyun to make some kind of asshole comment, or to smugly push her shoulders. He never does. Instead, he gives her a little grin, an intimate one. Heechul feels like vomiting again.
“Well, uh, uh, it was great meeting you guys. I hope to see you around again!” Heechul tries to sound enthusiastic. He can hear his voice faltering as he speaks and he’s never felt more embarrassed in his life. The two of them break eye contact with each other and manage to look at his pathetic self again.
“Oh, hey man, we should exchange numbers or something. We could like hang out and stuff.” Is he gay? Why the hell does Jonghyun want his number? Like hell he would hang out with him.
“Oh, for sure man.” Heechul immediately whips out his phone from his back pocket and gives it to Jonghyun. Jonghyun looks at him and gives him a huge smile. He looks like a douche. Jessica was right. Maybe is he gay. Maybe him and Jessica are just BFF’s forever.
Jessica’s looks at Heechul again. She’s giving him an equally huge smile, and her cheeks are flushed. He doesn’t even notice the way she’s inching closer and closer towards Jonghyun. All he sees is the way her eyes are like half-shaped moons and that his heart is skipping every other beat. That can’t be healthy. He doesn’t even remember that Jonghyun is there until he shoves his phone back in his chest.
Except that he didn’t really. He gave it back to him kindly. Douche.
“So I’ll see you around man,” He adds. Douche.
“Yeah, you too.” Heechul tries to smile as he walks away backwards. He can’t seem to turn around, scared to confront Siwan at his terrible rejection.
“Thanks for what you said earlier, Heechul.” Heechul can’t believe his ears. Jessica Jung has just said his name. She uttered his name on those precious lips of hers. His name. His stomach does another lurch. A good one this time. He shifts his eyes away from Jonghyun and looks back at Jessica who bites her lip and winks at him. It’s quick but it’s there, and he’s over the moon, elated. He wants to run up to her and spin her in his arms, and propose to her and have twenty children with her on the spot.
He’s so elated it takes a second for him to register that Jessica’s turning around to face Jonghyun now, and that she’s socking him hard in his chest, and that he’s giving her that douchetastic grin again, and that he’s looking down at her like she’s his, and that he’s wrapping one of his strong upper body arms around her petite bare waist, and that she’s involuntarily shuddering at his touch, but she likes it and she’s leaning into him, despite the fact that there are about twenty people in the hallway with them, and that she looks like she doesn’t care, and Heechul finally comes to a realization that he doesn’t know what those two are, but Jessica Jung certainly isn’t his.
Heechul manages to turn away and walk after he sees her reach up and wipe Jonghyun’s sweat with her hand once more, and he walks away for good.
“Oh, Heechul,” Heechul knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help it. He turns around again, hearing her soft voice, flying like flower petals above the air in a metaphoric high on weed sense, because she said his name. Again.
“Yes?” He weakly sputters out.
“Fighting!” Jessica motions her left arm into a cheerleader victory sign, giving him an encouraging smile. It doesn’t mean anything, because Jonghyun looks at her and copies the arm motion, giving Heechul the same cheeky grin. Douche.