Joker
JOKER;; PG-13
This was supposed to be a drabble and non-love triangle but I guess I got carried away. LOL. Anyway warning it's not a friendly piece so read at your own risk.
She likes it. She likes that he's hard to get a hold of on the phone.
She likes that she can send him four lengthy text messages back to back explaining her innermost feelings, complaining about her misery, pouring out her sorrows and that he only sends an easy 'yes; no; oh; night; thanks; got to go;' back.
He's incapable of many words, she decides.
He pretends Hyomin barely exists when they see each other at shows, instead he talks to his bandmates, or boys from other equally affluent groups. Sometimes he talks with Hyuna right in front of her nose, watching her from the corner of his eyes, but Hyomin tells herself it's okay, they are just like siblings, and even when he leans in for a deep whisper and makes Hyuna blush or when he pokes her belly, Hyomin likes it, likes that he's trying to get her, her of all people, jealous.
She likes that he doesn't respond to her phone call wishing him a happy birthday, so she leaves Junhyung a message on his twitter, even daring to informally call him "Yah," not bothering to care about what the fans think. And when he finally responds with a mass twitter reply back to everyone who wished him well that day, including her, she likes it because at least he didn't forget her.
There is a time when T-ara wins a mutizen for their latest song, and Hyomin is in such disbelief and happiness that she hugs everyone around her and gets weepy-eyed and can't even see straight, but she feels tall, loaded arms wrapped around her. She forces herself to concentrate instead of sob and sees that it's Kwangheng and he's holding to her so tight and laughing in her hair. She hesitates in the embrace, but knows she won't get in trouble since he's part of the family and she knows that Junhyung is on the sidelines pretending not to watch as usual, and Kwangheng has always had a thing for her, hasn't he?, so she hugs him right back and he picks her up in the air and spins her around, while confetti falls and their number one hit song starts on the playback, and the fans are cheering, and Kwangeng's smiling her and she's smiling at him and she laughs genuinely, not caring that there is going to be about ten articles about the hug in the news tomorrow.
She likes it when he texts her after the show ends, "Congratulations, let's go celebrate," and she likes it so much that she forgets to respond.
When they bump into each other backstage the week after that, and he takes her aside into some deserted room and snarls into her ear, grabbing her by the waist and pushing her against a wall; she likes it.
"I saw you with him last week, were you trying to make me jealous?"
"No."
"Don't lie to me, I know what I saw."
"I wasn't. Were you jealous? Of that?" And when Junhyung doesn't answer and just pushes her a little harder into the wall and she feels nails embedding into her backside from the painting hanging, she keeps mum because he's staring right at her, breathing heavy, words incorrigible when he says,
"He's not good enough for you. Only I am. Only me, you got that?"
But Hyomin doesn't know how to answer nor has she the time to as Junhyung leans in and crushes his mouth against hers, severely biting her bottom lip so hard that she swears it will bleed. She wants to complain but he's hiking one of her legs up against his slimy leather pants, and he's gripping her so hard to keep her up, harder and harder that she can barely breathe, let alone think.
She likes it when she's at the salon the next morning and her make-up artist is having the hardest time covering up the bruises he's left on her body, remnants of their escapade written all over her skin, and there really is no way to cover up the huge, gnawing bite on her neck that can barely be called a hickey. They give her a couple of bandages, try some heavy matte on the purple bruises on her thighs, but it's no use, so her coordi calls it a day, and dresses her in a dowdy turtleneck and some black slacks for the press conference, too frustrated to ask what happened.
Her eyes never flutter from the television set as T-ara gathers around it, watching an end of the year gayo that they were so fortunate to get the day off from, and the other girls gasp at the collaboration stage between Beast and SNSD, shocked at the very suggestive skinship dances and the scantily clad outfits. It doesn't pass her eyes that Junhyung is paired with Yoona, his ideal type, and he's touching her in places he shouldn't on national tv, but Hyomin's not jealous, she tells herself, no she's not, and she admires how pretty Sunny looks instead.
But when she goes to sleep that night, and her phone starts to buzz at some untimely hour, she has the hardest time going back to sleep. And when she wakes up the next morning, all she can think about is Junhyung's text replaying in her head over and over, "I'm fucking Yoona right now. But you are mine. Don't forget that."
But she likes it because when Soyeon notices her looking particularly pale during breakfast, she gives her an extra helping of eggs.
Practice goes on for too long, and Hyomin gets sick of looking at herself in those inescapable floor length mirrors all around the room. She's about a second away from screaming so she goes out, into an empty recording studio instead, her safe haven, and pulls out a razor from her purse. She promptly folds up her shorts as much as she can, the barely healed scars revealing themslves; pink and fleshed and raw. She looks away as she slides the razor over the skin, expertly, only daring to look again when the wounds are anew, blood dripping down the side of her right leg, and she likes the pain very much, so she repeats the process on her other thigh.
"I'm fucking Yoona right now. But you are mine. Don't forget that." The words replay over and over in her head and she likes it, likes that she has an excuse for the pain she's inflicting upon herself, and she tilts her head upward, mouth open and she licks her lips, thighs still bleeding.
The door opens and slams shut quickly and she looks at it to see Kwangheng in front of her, and then he's kneeling at her knees, throwing the razor across the other side of the room and out of reach. He takes off his layered plaid shirt, frantically placing both arms of his on her legs, trying to stop the bleeding, eyes frantic, breath rushed. But Hyomin sshs him softly, a gentle hand on one of his shoulders, head back in the air as she feels dreamy.
"It's okay, it doesn't hurt. It'll heal quickly."
"You shouldn't do this! You shouldn't let him get to you like this."
"Who?"
"Hyomin, I'm serious. Look at you, you're a mess." Hyomin looks back down at him, his sobbing face as he removes his shirt from her thighs, the blood drying in a dirty pattern on her peach toned skin. He starts blowing at the wounds, and feeling his soft breath on her skin makes Hyomin blush unexpectedly, a different feeling than Junhyung had ever given her. She places her other hand under Kwangheng's chin, cupping it so that he looks at her, at her really.
"I'm okay, I promise."
"You shouldn't do this to yourself, this is never okay, Hyomin. Why would you do this? Why?" And before Hyomin knows it, Kwangheng buries himself on her thighs, lips pressed against her skin, licking the salty blood that dripped moments before, licking it all off with his bare toungue, sucking on the wounds soflty at first then harder, then soft again, then harder, and she's not sure if it's doing more good than harm.
The feeling is so euphoric that Hyomin can't help but moan a little at the sensation and she puts a hand in Kwangheng's head and pulls at a tuft of hair as she tilts her head again and arches her back, asking him to make her feel better and whispering to him that he needs to take the pain away. And so he does, advancing himself from his position and pressing towards the infliction on her neck next.
"He's not good enough for you. Only I am. Only me, you got that?"
Hyomin likes it.
-end! =p
This was supposed to be a drabble and non-love triangle but I guess I got carried away. LOL. Anyway warning it's not a friendly piece so read at your own risk.
She likes it. She likes that he's hard to get a hold of on the phone.
She likes that she can send him four lengthy text messages back to back explaining her innermost feelings, complaining about her misery, pouring out her sorrows and that he only sends an easy 'yes; no; oh; night; thanks; got to go;' back.
He's incapable of many words, she decides.
He pretends Hyomin barely exists when they see each other at shows, instead he talks to his bandmates, or boys from other equally affluent groups. Sometimes he talks with Hyuna right in front of her nose, watching her from the corner of his eyes, but Hyomin tells herself it's okay, they are just like siblings, and even when he leans in for a deep whisper and makes Hyuna blush or when he pokes her belly, Hyomin likes it, likes that he's trying to get her, her of all people, jealous.
She likes that he doesn't respond to her phone call wishing him a happy birthday, so she leaves Junhyung a message on his twitter, even daring to informally call him "Yah," not bothering to care about what the fans think. And when he finally responds with a mass twitter reply back to everyone who wished him well that day, including her, she likes it because at least he didn't forget her.
There is a time when T-ara wins a mutizen for their latest song, and Hyomin is in such disbelief and happiness that she hugs everyone around her and gets weepy-eyed and can't even see straight, but she feels tall, loaded arms wrapped around her. She forces herself to concentrate instead of sob and sees that it's Kwangheng and he's holding to her so tight and laughing in her hair. She hesitates in the embrace, but knows she won't get in trouble since he's part of the family and she knows that Junhyung is on the sidelines pretending not to watch as usual, and Kwangheng has always had a thing for her, hasn't he?, so she hugs him right back and he picks her up in the air and spins her around, while confetti falls and their number one hit song starts on the playback, and the fans are cheering, and Kwangeng's smiling her and she's smiling at him and she laughs genuinely, not caring that there is going to be about ten articles about the hug in the news tomorrow.
She likes it when he texts her after the show ends, "Congratulations, let's go celebrate," and she likes it so much that she forgets to respond.
When they bump into each other backstage the week after that, and he takes her aside into some deserted room and snarls into her ear, grabbing her by the waist and pushing her against a wall; she likes it.
"I saw you with him last week, were you trying to make me jealous?"
"No."
"Don't lie to me, I know what I saw."
"I wasn't. Were you jealous? Of that?" And when Junhyung doesn't answer and just pushes her a little harder into the wall and she feels nails embedding into her backside from the painting hanging, she keeps mum because he's staring right at her, breathing heavy, words incorrigible when he says,
"He's not good enough for you. Only I am. Only me, you got that?"
But Hyomin doesn't know how to answer nor has she the time to as Junhyung leans in and crushes his mouth against hers, severely biting her bottom lip so hard that she swears it will bleed. She wants to complain but he's hiking one of her legs up against his slimy leather pants, and he's gripping her so hard to keep her up, harder and harder that she can barely breathe, let alone think.
She likes it when she's at the salon the next morning and her make-up artist is having the hardest time covering up the bruises he's left on her body, remnants of their escapade written all over her skin, and there really is no way to cover up the huge, gnawing bite on her neck that can barely be called a hickey. They give her a couple of bandages, try some heavy matte on the purple bruises on her thighs, but it's no use, so her coordi calls it a day, and dresses her in a dowdy turtleneck and some black slacks for the press conference, too frustrated to ask what happened.
Her eyes never flutter from the television set as T-ara gathers around it, watching an end of the year gayo that they were so fortunate to get the day off from, and the other girls gasp at the collaboration stage between Beast and SNSD, shocked at the very suggestive skinship dances and the scantily clad outfits. It doesn't pass her eyes that Junhyung is paired with Yoona, his ideal type, and he's touching her in places he shouldn't on national tv, but Hyomin's not jealous, she tells herself, no she's not, and she admires how pretty Sunny looks instead.
But when she goes to sleep that night, and her phone starts to buzz at some untimely hour, she has the hardest time going back to sleep. And when she wakes up the next morning, all she can think about is Junhyung's text replaying in her head over and over, "I'm fucking Yoona right now. But you are mine. Don't forget that."
But she likes it because when Soyeon notices her looking particularly pale during breakfast, she gives her an extra helping of eggs.
Practice goes on for too long, and Hyomin gets sick of looking at herself in those inescapable floor length mirrors all around the room. She's about a second away from screaming so she goes out, into an empty recording studio instead, her safe haven, and pulls out a razor from her purse. She promptly folds up her shorts as much as she can, the barely healed scars revealing themslves; pink and fleshed and raw. She looks away as she slides the razor over the skin, expertly, only daring to look again when the wounds are anew, blood dripping down the side of her right leg, and she likes the pain very much, so she repeats the process on her other thigh.
"I'm fucking Yoona right now. But you are mine. Don't forget that." The words replay over and over in her head and she likes it, likes that she has an excuse for the pain she's inflicting upon herself, and she tilts her head upward, mouth open and she licks her lips, thighs still bleeding.
The door opens and slams shut quickly and she looks at it to see Kwangheng in front of her, and then he's kneeling at her knees, throwing the razor across the other side of the room and out of reach. He takes off his layered plaid shirt, frantically placing both arms of his on her legs, trying to stop the bleeding, eyes frantic, breath rushed. But Hyomin sshs him softly, a gentle hand on one of his shoulders, head back in the air as she feels dreamy.
"It's okay, it doesn't hurt. It'll heal quickly."
"You shouldn't do this! You shouldn't let him get to you like this."
"Who?"
"Hyomin, I'm serious. Look at you, you're a mess." Hyomin looks back down at him, his sobbing face as he removes his shirt from her thighs, the blood drying in a dirty pattern on her peach toned skin. He starts blowing at the wounds, and feeling his soft breath on her skin makes Hyomin blush unexpectedly, a different feeling than Junhyung had ever given her. She places her other hand under Kwangheng's chin, cupping it so that he looks at her, at her really.
"I'm okay, I promise."
"You shouldn't do this to yourself, this is never okay, Hyomin. Why would you do this? Why?" And before Hyomin knows it, Kwangheng buries himself on her thighs, lips pressed against her skin, licking the salty blood that dripped moments before, licking it all off with his bare toungue, sucking on the wounds soflty at first then harder, then soft again, then harder, and she's not sure if it's doing more good than harm.
The feeling is so euphoric that Hyomin can't help but moan a little at the sensation and she puts a hand in Kwangheng's head and pulls at a tuft of hair as she tilts her head again and arches her back, asking him to make her feel better and whispering to him that he needs to take the pain away. And so he does, advancing himself from his position and pressing towards the infliction on her neck next.
"He's not good enough for you. Only I am. Only me, you got that?"
Hyomin likes it.
-end! =p