Thirty Second Nightmare
THIRTY SECOND NIGHTMARE;; PG
“I saw you, you know.” Jessica Jung muttered, her voice perfectly steady but a sense of iciness present. Jonghyun was on the other side of the huge room, being a tad narcissistic in front of the mirror, but mostly trying to fix the atrocity of a shirt his coordi made him wear. The shirt was low-cut, slinky and feminine, specifically designed to show off a tad of his chest. But it made Jonghyun uncomfortable wearing it on stage with thousands of people in the audience and knowing the chances he would get mocked at backstage by his Suju hyungs very prominent. He thought he heard her voice, but wasn’t sure if it was a figment of his imagination or not. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror and saw her figure looking at him from the main door. Jonghyun slowly turned around, taking a look around the dressing room backstage. They were the only ones in there and Jonghyun’s mind started to race as to why she was all by herself.
Usually, he was one of the last ones to leave the ending stages; he lived for the thrill of standing with all his SM Town family at big concerts like that night. But he had been feeling self-conscious about his shirt so he had made a quick escape to the dressing room that SNSD, f(x), SHINee and Super Junior had been assigned to share. No one had been there when he had entered, not even managers or stylists. He figured he had another thirty seconds alone with Jessica before someone walked in and he knew he shouldn’t risk saying or doing anything that might lead to more frustrations. But he had to know what the hell she was talking about. He had to take the bait.
“What did you ask?” He said slowly as he inched his way across the room towards her. It was a battle, though. Every step he took was one more step Jessica took toward the opposite side of the room. Jonghyun couldn’t read the expression on her face. It was driving him crazy.
“You heard me. I saw you.” There was no hiding the coldness in her statement. But Jjong remained clueless. As usual. “I saw you staring at her. On stage. Practically drooling….you know. Shin Se Kyung.”
By this time, Jessica had made her way to the refreshment table, and perched herself against it. Jonghyun had stopped walking when she finished her sentence. He watched in confusion as Sica pulled her long ponytail around her little finger. Her hair color was a bit darker than the last time Jjong had seen her. It was a nice warm honey color, Jjong noted.
“I’m confused. What the hell are you talking about? I wasn’t staring at her. Where did you get that idea from? And why are you here all by yourself?”
“It’s okay. I know you have a thing for her. I saw your interview where you said she was your celebrity crush. I guess your dream came true.” Sica drawled, slowly untwisting her finger from her hair. Jonghyun was completely baffled. He walked across the room, knowing he was walking right into her trap. But he couldn’t help it. He knew someone would walk into the room, any second now. Any. He walked until he was right in front of her, his boots close enough to touch the back heels of her own.
“Did you seriously follow me backstage just to throw an accusation at me that is completely untrue? What is up with you?” Jonghyun wanted to sound harsh and strict but instead he sounded eager for an answer, his voice cracking against his will. She smelled like rain and cherry blossoms, his mind registered. And despite her blank expression, he could sense a faltering crack behind her doe eyes. “Did you think I ran backstage because she was here or something? I left because my shirt was bothering me. As you can see I’m all alone.”
Jessica hesitated before saying anything. She then nonchalantly clicked her tongue and smiled. “I just wanted to let you know what I saw. I don’t care.” Jonghyun took a couple of steps closer, forcing Jessica to sit on the table’s edge. He knew that his chest was practically revealed, but he didn’t care anymore. “Whatever.” Jessica tried to laugh it off and escape his capture, but it was to no avail. Jjong grabbed her fragile forearms, strong enough to make her stand up, inches away from his face.
“Sica,” He whispered. He still didn’t loosen his grasp. “What exactly do you want from me?” Before he could stop, his face was centimeters away from hers, her lips barely separated from his. “If you have something to say, say it now.” Jessica pretended to squirm out of his grasp, but she did a poor job of it. She wanted to be there, wherever there was. Even if they both didn’t understand it.
“I only have one thing to say to you.” She slowly said, letting her words fall under her breath so that he had no choice but to struggle to hear them. Jonghyun was so close to Sica he could see the sweat perspiring on her forehead; the little bruises she had gotten on her lips from singing to close to the mic countless times. And worse of all, he could feel her cold breath, creating a cooling sensation down his neck because of the close proximity.
“Say it.” He forcefully tightened his grip around her wrists, causing her to let out a couple of whimpers that could be mistaken for moans. Maybe it was moaning- Jonghyun couldn’t tell anymore. Her puppy face expression was killing him and his entire body was acting against his will. She looked him straight in the eyes, her eyes never flickering and let out a soft whimper this time, inviting him to hurt her some more.
Suddenly, the door backstage burst open and Sunny, Taemin, Shindong, Eunhyuk and some staff walked in one after another, all busy conversing so loudly and obnoxiously that none of them even bothered to see Jonghyun slickly loosen his grasp and step away to a chair at the end of the table where he quickly sat down. Jessica was left in the same position, her face unable to read again once more.
“Ah, Sica! Where were you? You missed the end. Shindong almost got burnt by a firework and he was yelping like a puppy. How come you came in early?” Sunny chirped, walking over to Sica and grabbing her hands. Sunny led Sica around the room, to the side of the table where Jonghyun had been sitting at pondering, for all of the two last seconds. Before Sica could answer, Sunny had already begun undressing out of her stage uniform, promptly throwing her coat and boots down on the ground. Jessica awkwardly turned from Sunny’s gaze only to be met with an awkward Jonghyun sitting down a few feet from them.
Jonghyun had never bothered to turn around before and not look, they were all family. But that weird tension was there that night and he got the feeling if he had continued to look in the girls’ direction that Sica would continue to raise tension around him whenever they were around.
“Well? Sica? Why aren’t you undressing? What’s up with you? Hurry up and change so we can walk around backstage and say bye to the 2pm boys before they leave.” Sunny giggled at her own idea, before forcefully stripping Sica of her coat. At this, Jonghyun nervously coughed and stood up, quickly facing the other side of the room. More of the SM staff and kids had walked in by this point, everyone doing their own thing. He saw Shindong and Taemin already undressing out of their stage costumes on the other side, and knew he should join them. He began to have vividly wild thoughts about undressing in front of Sica all of a sudden, and then his heart began to race at the thought that she was already half-naked behind him.
“Jonghyun hyung, what are you doing? Come over and get changed. Stop wasting time!” Taemin playfully shouted at Jonghyun, snapping him out of his reverie. He sighed and started walking towards Taemin, seeing his other group members joining the hustle and bustle. As he started to walk, a familiar arm grabbed his and he turned to face Sica. She was still wearing her stage shorts, but her shirt had been left unbuttoned. It was taking Jjong’s every effort to not stare and to meet her eyes.
“I guess you’ll never know, will you?” She smiled that smile, sliding her hand down his strong forearm, until it met his own hand. She let it linger there for a couple of seconds, before pulling away and walking back to Sunny.
Jonghyun stood in a daze, trying to figure what the hell just happened for the fifth time that minute when he felt a lingering sensation in his hand. He uncurled his grip to realize Sica had left something in his fist for him. It was a tiny piece of paper. He unwrapped it slowly but anxiously, desperate to see what it said.
“I know.” Those were the only two words written on the little piece of parchment. Two words only. Jonghyun looked back at where Sica was, and realized she had already left the room with Sunny, only leaving an array of costume clothes behind as a sign she was there. Jonghyun looked at the paper again. He didn’t know anything. He didn’t know at all.