Monday night
2nd chapter of the "book"... yeah, well... i'm not sure i have the energy for this book thing... but i shouldn't leave you dear readers hanging on what was once called "Monday afternoon" (translated: i won't be as long-winded).
the Monday afternoon revelations proved to be too dark and dreary for my tastes. well, not so much dark and dreary... but too much focused on factual and/or logical information. having an overall outlook of "there is no point to anything or anyone" does not fit with the social creature i am. even my use of the word "creature" conflicts with the viewpoints that came to me Monday afternoon... the word implying that there was something intelligent behind the creation. the thing is, there are so many people out there whom i love (many of whom are reading this)... people i can't diminish to mere beings who're preprogrammed to do what they do... to be who they are. there HAS to be some wiggle room in the logic.
i can't find the logic. BUT...
this WHOLE thing likely came about from my dismissiveness towards emotions while elevating the importance of logic. as a "balanced" human individual, shouldn't i give both equal consideration? and besides, if i were to look at life through nothing but my logic-goggles, wouldn't that just make my life SO much harder for me to live, given that those who choose to allow me to grace their presence are generally only doing so based on emotion?
the chips fell, and i came to realize that i can't neglect emotions, mine or anyone else's, no matter how much they fly in the face of logic. and not only that, but i should embrace my emotions given that i've historically dismissed them through recent years. fear, love, hatred, anger, desire, compassion... in theory, i should embrace these when they materialize. that is my policy now.
within me, the 'governing counsil' says, "embrace emotions. embrace spirituality. and pay logic no more than a penny."
WITH THAT SAID, with my Monday afternoon thoughts, i also allow myself to dismiss certain emotions when it's convenient. for instance, when someone attacks me out of emotion, i can say, "this person is only attacking me because of their biology and the experiences they've had in their life thus far. so it's not really ME they're attacking, but the notions they see in me. don't take their attack as personal; i'm just having the misfortune of representing that which they are predestined to hate at the moment." another example would be if i start to feel rage towards something or someone. i can dismiss it by repeating to myself, "i was preprogrammed to have this reaction to the event at hand. this emotion has no consequence and is as significant as the shit on my shoe. nothing i do will change this rage (aka 'shit-on-my-shoe') into something else. i just had the misfortune of stepping in it." dismissing it completely will be a challenge, but it's definitely worth a shot.
these, to me, are freeing thoughts.
if i can dismiss that which is inconvenient to me... while at the same time embracing that which boosts my ego... while at the same time not forgetting that which is logical... who knows? maybe, with practice, i'll learn to love myself.
the Monday afternoon revelations proved to be too dark and dreary for my tastes. well, not so much dark and dreary... but too much focused on factual and/or logical information. having an overall outlook of "there is no point to anything or anyone" does not fit with the social creature i am. even my use of the word "creature" conflicts with the viewpoints that came to me Monday afternoon... the word implying that there was something intelligent behind the creation. the thing is, there are so many people out there whom i love (many of whom are reading this)... people i can't diminish to mere beings who're preprogrammed to do what they do... to be who they are. there HAS to be some wiggle room in the logic.
i can't find the logic. BUT...
this WHOLE thing likely came about from my dismissiveness towards emotions while elevating the importance of logic. as a "balanced" human individual, shouldn't i give both equal consideration? and besides, if i were to look at life through nothing but my logic-goggles, wouldn't that just make my life SO much harder for me to live, given that those who choose to allow me to grace their presence are generally only doing so based on emotion?
the chips fell, and i came to realize that i can't neglect emotions, mine or anyone else's, no matter how much they fly in the face of logic. and not only that, but i should embrace my emotions given that i've historically dismissed them through recent years. fear, love, hatred, anger, desire, compassion... in theory, i should embrace these when they materialize. that is my policy now.
within me, the 'governing counsil' says, "embrace emotions. embrace spirituality. and pay logic no more than a penny."
WITH THAT SAID, with my Monday afternoon thoughts, i also allow myself to dismiss certain emotions when it's convenient. for instance, when someone attacks me out of emotion, i can say, "this person is only attacking me because of their biology and the experiences they've had in their life thus far. so it's not really ME they're attacking, but the notions they see in me. don't take their attack as personal; i'm just having the misfortune of representing that which they are predestined to hate at the moment." another example would be if i start to feel rage towards something or someone. i can dismiss it by repeating to myself, "i was preprogrammed to have this reaction to the event at hand. this emotion has no consequence and is as significant as the shit on my shoe. nothing i do will change this rage (aka 'shit-on-my-shoe') into something else. i just had the misfortune of stepping in it." dismissing it completely will be a challenge, but it's definitely worth a shot.
these, to me, are freeing thoughts.
if i can dismiss that which is inconvenient to me... while at the same time embracing that which boosts my ego... while at the same time not forgetting that which is logical... who knows? maybe, with practice, i'll learn to love myself.