(no subject)
Title: Meetings and Delusions
Author: skwisgaariscool
Pairing, Character(s): Finn, sort of slashy Finn/Kurt if you squint
Rating: G
Spoilers: up to Theatricality
Summary: Finn has a talk with Kurt (established character death)
“Uh, hey… buddy” , Finn's voice cut through the quiet cemetery like a razorblade, “I know it's been a while since I last saw you, things have been pretty busy in glee lately... It's been a lot harder there without you, Rachel has been going nuts with practices since...”, Since the accident. The words died on his lips.
For a moment, Finn was quiet as if waiting for a snappy retort from the tombstone in front of him; or even, from the boy laying beneath the very earth he was sitting on. Taking a deep breath he continued on, “To be honest, I think this is just her way of coping with this... this thing. She's pretty upset actually, I think this hit all of us in a place we didn't know exist. Like, uh this one time freshman year in football I got dog-piled by Puck, Azimio, and Karofsky and one of their knees landed on my kidney, I swear! It hurt so bad they had to call my mom to pick me up and take me home for the day, it totally sucked. Anyway, it's like that only worse.”
Finn gazed sadly at the quiet grave, “Mercedes is taking it really hard, I think, well uh... I mean. You guys were like, best friends right? You guys were tighter than me and Puck before baby-gate. Um, anyway Quinn, Tina and Artie are doing a great job trying to keep her afloat - keeping us all afloat. I think we all have a different way of dealing. Rachel with singing and acting like a control-freak, Quinn acting all maternal to Mercedes, Artie and Tina trying to lighten the mood, Matt and Mike with dancing, and Puck just smashing anything that gets in his way. Actually, the people taking it the worst are Santana and Brittany, Brittany won't stop crying and mumbling about soft baby hands, and Santana just holds her while shaking her head whispering softly about the 'Cheerio sisterhood'.”
“This morning, uh Coach Sylvester actually held a mandatory memorial service in your honor in the gym. She was going on about how you were 'the only worm in this dirt farm of a school worthy of being in Sue Sylvester's mighty mind-blowingly glorious presence' and that it was crime against nature that her best head Cheerio be taken from her to - uh..Valhulluh? Valhoola? Oh! Valhalla! Yeah.. I think she even cried vendetta against the gods for taking her ticket to nationals for the next two years. She vowed on every hair product Mr. Shue owned that she would find your soul in the after-life, bring it back into the world of the living and then bludgeon you to death with that Jimmy Choo purse- I mean, messenger bag you love so much.”
Pausing, Finn looked up to the sky and laughed softly, “You know...if it weren't for you and your constant nagging about picking up the laundry in our room- uh well, my room now, I wouldn't have remembered all of those fancy designer names and stuff. Um, by the way - about the room, I know we never really talked about it after the whole gaga incident but i'm really really sorry about saying those things to you. For saying that word.”
Finn continued with an almost forlorn sigh, “I know it's no excuse, it's just that at that moment the stress of the what was going on; the aftermath of baby-gate, Rachel and Jesse mooning over eachother, Burt and my mom..y'know. And I just took out all of that stuff on the person closest to me, figuratively and literally, and yeah I know what that means. I've sort of always known about your crush-thing on me, I always ignored it though, because I knew you were an alright guy and I really just wanted to avoid a sticky situation, like that one time with Mr. Shue and that Pepper chick. Scary. But then, like baby-gate happened and you were always there for me when I needed you. That sounds pretty crappy of me huh? I didn't mean to use you or anything, I was really just thinking of myself. I was hurting. You were there. And I'm sorry if you thought at the time that I would be ready to like, fall into your arms or something.”
“You know, I - I … The reason i'm here..”, Finn choked back a sob “I went to Miss Pillsbury and she told me that if I talked to you and got some..some closure that it would stop these feelings.” Regret, Anger, Sadness...Unrequited love?
Finn stood up and started backing away,“So uh yeah, i'm going to head out now... love ya' dude.”
Finn laughed to himself as he walked away, “..You know, I actually thought that this would work.”
And that's just foolish.