Comments | sky_ciel: Fic: 人柱エクソシスト 4/4

sky_ciel

Fic: 人柱エクソシスト 4/4 - Alice of Hearts

Apr 29, 2009 20:52

Disclaimer: I do not own D Gray Man

A/N: The anticipated chapter (for Lily). The… ‘Walker Twins’ sounded DAMN wrong. And I made changes to the song

( The metallic stench in the air made it hard to breathe. )

fanfic

Comments 2

elbioni April 29 2009, 13:59:42 UTC

Nice :) I liked the part where Kanda told the twins to scoot off, but I had the feeling that Allen was quite emotionless when he killed Lenalee. Just a suggestion, maybe you could work on that part a bit more?

A few grammar errors here and there, but that's about it. You should post this on Fan Fic. :)

Hur hur, sorry for being a retard. Bwahaha.

sky_ciel April 30 2009, 02:53:38 UTC

YOU ADMITTED IT!!! YOU ADMITTED THAT YOU'RE A RETARD!!! >8D

Duh, it'll be so un-Kanda to say nothing and die quietly