DGM 197
Because I'm bored and let this be a super lame attempt (again) at another shot at a super dark and angsty chapter
Allen Used Bitchslap!
Kanda flinched
- cues DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN music and horrified audience -
Alma: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU JUST SCARRED HIS FACE FOR LIFE!!!
Allen: Oh shut up. I'm trying to save your sorry ass here. Do you want to survive for the next few chapters OR not?!
Kanda: (shows up in Oni mode) Oh, you did NOT just say that.... Stop stealing all the limelight, bitch
Allen: 8)? I'm sorry, I totally didn't hear that. And what the hell happened to your hair?
(Yeah. It looked like some fan caught hold of your hair and twisted it within its blades and you refused to cut it off to free it from the fan. Screw that, you NEVER cut it off)
Kanda: ...
Allen: (fail attempt to joke) I'm not saying anything but, you look damn amusing to me. Don't tell me you got turned on DURING the fight?!
KANDA: YOU ASKED FOR IT BASTARD
Allen: (serious) WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST STAB YOUR BEST FRIEND?! I mean, I know that you have a knife play fetish but there's PEPOLE HERE!! Jeez, couldn't you wait till you get to a bedroom?
Kanda: GET OFF MY STAGE BITCH!! It's MY show, AND YOU'RE NOT PART OF IT
Allen and Alma: oshit.. OAO
Kanda: FIFTH ILLUSION (because I ran out of ideas what to call that thing. 'Go hallucinations that actually cause haemorraegging (sp?)' doesn't exactly work XD)
Renee (or Bak. SOMEONE!!): Did Kanda's hair go through a bad dye job?! It's light purple!!!
Zuu: Nah, he's just under stress. Stres turns EVERYBODY's hair white. No wait. He's using Fifth Illusion?! NOOOOOOOO KANDA YOU IDIOT YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!! FANGIRLS ARE COMING TO GET YOUR SOUL!!! THEY'LL OM-NOM-NOM IT FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS!!!
Kanda: OFF OFF THE STAGE YOU HUMAN-AKUMA-WAY-TOO-TRIGGER-HAPPY-IDIOT-WHO-SMILES-TO-MUCH-IN-THE-PAST-BUT-I-DUNNO-ABOUT-NOW BASTARD!!! *stabs Alma*
Alma: urgh I think I'm dead
Allen: ALMA!!! *blood gushes through right shoulder* OHMYGOD I'M DEAD TOO!!
Reever: ALLEN YOU CAN'T DIE!!! Actually go ahead. Because the writers will probably kill Kanda for killing you That wound... KANDA!! YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRAW BLOOD YOU NITWIT
Earl and Wisely: Ohyeeeeeeaaaaaaah, that sword switching tactic worked. Who knew the Black Order Productions had such weak secuity and didn't check their props beforehand? Ohwell, a rubber sword. Road can have some fun with that in the fire
- cues lightning spam -
Everybody: WHO THE HELL TRIPPED THE CIRCUIT?!
For: Bak!! Mend the stone!! Or we'll all DIE!!
Bak: HOW?!
For: YOU'RE ASKING ME?!
Tyki: Are you done fighting with your boyfriend? Coz we have a fight to finish
Allen: For is NOT Bak's girlfriend. I am
Tyki: (off screen) That was SO not in the script, shounen
Alma: DIE KANDA! DIE!!! (no seriously. I can't think of anything to sub for this fight) *fires overly imbar destructive beam*
Allen: *cuts off destructive beam* You're seriously wasting the energy resources from all that spamming you know
Alma: You need to rewatch that DVD again. It says 'fire destructive Ancient Egyptian Lazer beams for a minute'.
Allen: No. Fine print says 'do not overkill. We're working on limited budget'.
- cues Kanda dropping to the floor -
Allen: Fantastic. You killed a main character!! *finds himself tied up* WHAT?!
Alma: Actually, I'm about to kill a main character. I SHALL THEREFORE STEAL ALL YOUR SCREENTIME
Allen: Man, you ARE deprived
Alma: Who are you... Again...?
Allen: I'M ALLEN F*KING WALKER, TWIT!!! I'M GOING TO DROWN YOU IN GINGER BEER, BURN YOU WITH HOT SCONES AND MASH YOU UP AMONG THE POTATOES AND I WON'T EAT IT
Alma: AS LONG AS YOU LIVE I'LL NEVER GET THE SCREENTIME I'M SUPPOSED TO GET!!! *readies lazur beam*
- healing mechanism stops -
Alma: Ohfu---
Earl: Time's up Alma. It's time for YOU to die
Alma: Shut up... Fat ass... Must... risk... life... to... kill... Yuu
Allen: ..... No seriously... You're dead
- Kanda attacks -
Allen: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! And while you're at it, do something about that hair!!
Kanda: ... Hand him over
Allen: And let him get cut up for your sick fetish? NO WAY. Besides why do you wanna kill him so bad? He's just another guy who wants to live but the trauma from the past made him suffer so much!! Truth is, he's a nice kid ... That sounds familiar.. Somehow... You're so NOT thinking straight
Kanda: *imbar mode on* I'm not straight. So what's your problem? You destroyed a FREAKING BRANCH, MADE THAT GUY INTO A NOAH, All to find THAT out?!
(... You have issues, man. DEEEEEEP issues)
Kanda: IT'S ALL YOU AND YOUR STUPID BET ON MY AMBIGUOUS SEXUALITY MONTHS AGO!!!!
Allen: How do you know... my secret?!
Alma: Shut up Allen!! Mummy and Daddy are talking!! *fires beam*
(*sigh* more fanservice...)
Allen: I CAN'T LOSE THAT BET!!! I'M POSITIVE I'LL WIN
Kanda: *stab*
Allen: ... Did you... just kill me?
Alma: Kanda you bastard, that was MY job
Kanda: ... ohmygod...
---
Ok, fuck this. I'm out of ideas. From a simple commenting review, I blew this into an all-out semiabridged chapter. Man I NEED to stay off YGOTAS
Allen Used Bitchslap!
Kanda flinched
- cues DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN music and horrified audience -
Alma: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU JUST SCARRED HIS FACE FOR LIFE!!!
Allen: Oh shut up. I'm trying to save your sorry ass here. Do you want to survive for the next few chapters OR not?!
Kanda: (shows up in Oni mode) Oh, you did NOT just say that.... Stop stealing all the limelight, bitch
Allen: 8)? I'm sorry, I totally didn't hear that. And what the hell happened to your hair?
(Yeah. It looked like some fan caught hold of your hair and twisted it within its blades and you refused to cut it off to free it from the fan. Screw that, you NEVER cut it off)
Kanda: ...
Allen: (fail attempt to joke) I'm not saying anything but, you look damn amusing to me. Don't tell me you got turned on DURING the fight?!
KANDA: YOU ASKED FOR IT BASTARD
Allen: (serious) WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST STAB YOUR BEST FRIEND?! I mean, I know that you have a knife play fetish but there's PEPOLE HERE!! Jeez, couldn't you wait till you get to a bedroom?
Kanda: GET OFF MY STAGE BITCH!! It's MY show, AND YOU'RE NOT PART OF IT
Allen and Alma: oshit.. OAO
Kanda: FIFTH ILLUSION (because I ran out of ideas what to call that thing. 'Go hallucinations that actually cause haemorraegging (sp?)' doesn't exactly work XD)
Renee (or Bak. SOMEONE!!): Did Kanda's hair go through a bad dye job?! It's light purple!!!
Zuu: Nah, he's just under stress. Stres turns EVERYBODY's hair white. No wait. He's using Fifth Illusion?! NOOOOOOOO KANDA YOU IDIOT YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!! FANGIRLS ARE COMING TO GET YOUR SOUL!!! THEY'LL OM-NOM-NOM IT FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS!!!
Kanda: OFF OFF THE STAGE YOU HUMAN-AKUMA-WAY-TOO-TRIGGER-HAPPY-IDIOT-WHO-SMILES-TO-MUCH-IN-THE-PAST-BUT-I-DUNNO-ABOUT-NOW BASTARD!!! *stabs Alma*
Alma: urgh I think I'm dead
Allen: ALMA!!! *blood gushes through right shoulder* OHMYGOD I'M DEAD TOO!!
Reever: ALLEN YOU CAN'T DIE!!! Actually go ahead. Because the writers will probably kill Kanda for killing you That wound... KANDA!! YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRAW BLOOD YOU NITWIT
Earl and Wisely: Ohyeeeeeeaaaaaaah, that sword switching tactic worked. Who knew the Black Order Productions had such weak secuity and didn't check their props beforehand? Ohwell, a rubber sword. Road can have some fun with that in the fire
- cues lightning spam -
Everybody: WHO THE HELL TRIPPED THE CIRCUIT?!
For: Bak!! Mend the stone!! Or we'll all DIE!!
Bak: HOW?!
For: YOU'RE ASKING ME?!
Tyki: Are you done fighting with your boyfriend? Coz we have a fight to finish
Allen: For is NOT Bak's girlfriend. I am
Tyki: (off screen) That was SO not in the script, shounen
Alma: DIE KANDA! DIE!!! (no seriously. I can't think of anything to sub for this fight) *fires overly imbar destructive beam*
Allen: *cuts off destructive beam* You're seriously wasting the energy resources from all that spamming you know
Alma: You need to rewatch that DVD again. It says 'fire destructive Ancient Egyptian Lazer beams for a minute'.
Allen: No. Fine print says 'do not overkill. We're working on limited budget'.
- cues Kanda dropping to the floor -
Allen: Fantastic. You killed a main character!! *finds himself tied up* WHAT?!
Alma: Actually, I'm about to kill a main character. I SHALL THEREFORE STEAL ALL YOUR SCREENTIME
Allen: Man, you ARE deprived
Alma: Who are you... Again...?
Allen: I'M ALLEN F*KING WALKER, TWIT!!! I'M GOING TO DROWN YOU IN GINGER BEER, BURN YOU WITH HOT SCONES AND MASH YOU UP AMONG THE POTATOES AND I WON'T EAT IT
Alma: AS LONG AS YOU LIVE I'LL NEVER GET THE SCREENTIME I'M SUPPOSED TO GET!!! *readies lazur beam*
- healing mechanism stops -
Alma: Ohfu---
Earl: Time's up Alma. It's time for YOU to die
Alma: Shut up... Fat ass... Must... risk... life... to... kill... Yuu
Allen: ..... No seriously... You're dead
- Kanda attacks -
Allen: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! And while you're at it, do something about that hair!!
Kanda: ... Hand him over
Allen: And let him get cut up for your sick fetish? NO WAY. Besides why do you wanna kill him so bad? He's just another guy who wants to live but the trauma from the past made him suffer so much!! Truth is, he's a nice kid ... That sounds familiar.. Somehow... You're so NOT thinking straight
Kanda: *imbar mode on* I'm not straight. So what's your problem? You destroyed a FREAKING BRANCH, MADE THAT GUY INTO A NOAH, All to find THAT out?!
(... You have issues, man. DEEEEEEP issues)
Kanda: IT'S ALL YOU AND YOUR STUPID BET ON MY AMBIGUOUS SEXUALITY MONTHS AGO!!!!
Allen: How do you know... my secret?!
Alma: Shut up Allen!! Mummy and Daddy are talking!! *fires beam*
(*sigh* more fanservice...)
Allen: I CAN'T LOSE THAT BET!!! I'M POSITIVE I'LL WIN
Kanda: *stab*
Allen: ... Did you... just kill me?
Alma: Kanda you bastard, that was MY job
Kanda: ... ohmygod...
---
Ok, fuck this. I'm out of ideas. From a simple commenting review, I blew this into an all-out semiabridged chapter. Man I NEED to stay off YGOTAS