Happy Birthday kaighn!!
Happy Birthday to you!
So, this is short. And original. And weird. But I hope you like it and that you have a wonderful day. ^_^ (I'll write something longer...and better, for you next December. ;3)
When Yuni had woken up that morning and gotten himself ready for the day, this had not been part of the plan. In fact, it hadn’t even been in the realm of his reality.
Unfortunately, that hadn’t seemed to have stopped it from happening. “Get the hell off of me!” he bellowed, struggling against the ropes and trying to buck off the pipsqueak intent on holding him down. Honestly, no self respecting unicorn should ever find themselves in such a position, and that this little runt of a wizard had managed the trick infuriated Yuni. What was more, the brat had turned him into this vile human form. His lovely tail was still there, but it looked ridiculous hanging off of his freakish human butt. His lovely mane was now messy white locks that fell in complete disarray around his face.
And his horn, his lovely magnificent horn! It was now stubby, short and ugly.
“You’re not at all what I expected out of a unicorn, Mr. Unicorn,” the wizard brat told him in complete seriousness.
"Yuni," he ground out, furious.
In a million years, Yuni would never live this down. Shaking his stupid human hair out of his stupid human eyes, Yuni glared. The brat was in typical wizard garb. He had the royal blue cape and hat of the wizarding academy, and the wand he was waving around with less caution that Yuni would have liked, looked like standard issue. Of course, that’s where the normality ended and the world flipped upside down.
The brat was missing the goatee and the handlebar mustache. He was also dressed like a complete commoner underneath his fancy cape instead of the foppish finery that most wizards indulged in. His reddish brown hair was also short and curling slightly around his face, making him look more impish than sinister.
In short, Yuni had been captured and transformed by a third rate hack.
“Untie me. Now,” he tried growling. Maybe he could scare the idiot into releasing him.
“Why?” The brat blinked big dumb innocent eyes at him.
“So I can trample you to death. So I can pluck your eyeballs from your skull and feed it to ravens for fun. So I can drop kick you off a cliff. Just do it!”
The brat whistled. “You’d make a great wizard. They love that kind of gory talk. It’s all about skewering people and eating their entrails and ripping apart the countryside with their power. I told them it seemed a bit stupid since there were so many other interesting and wonderful things that could be done with magic. But you know,” he shrugged, slipping off of Yuni and crouching down on his knees, “wizards are a bloodthirsty lot.”
“And you’re not?” Yuni couldn’t help but ask skeptically. After all, what other reason would a wizard have to capture a unicorn than to bleed it dry? The fact that this particular wizard hadn’t done so already merely meant that he was crap at his profession. Even more so since he’d managed to turn Yuni human when the blood would only be useful in its unicorn form.
“Of course not,” the brat snorted. “Blood makes me faint.”
“Who the hell are you?” Because Yuni was beginning to think that it was amazing that the wizarding guild hadn’t murdered the brat just to preserve the sanctity of the profession.
“Gil. I’m a wizard first class and I graduated last year. My specialty is the hundred year sleep and I did my graduating thesis on the effectiveness of unicorn blood.”
“And yet you don’t want mine,” Yuni snorted. “Do I look that stupid?”
“Having not had much experience with unicorns firsthand, I really couldn’t say for sure,” Gil babbled mindless of Yuni’s disgust with him. “I do have to say, though, that you’re a lot prettier up close than I thought you would have been.”
“But I’m human,” Yuni ground out the word in disgust.
“Well of course. If you were a unicorn, they’d have killed you and started bleeding you out already. Besides, you look prettier as a human.” Gil smiled at him, and Yuni scowled out of reflex in spite of the fact that Gil was reaching over and he could feel the brat cutting the ropes that held him hogtied. Dammit, he was not pretty! Unicorns were not something so insipid as pretty. He was a manly unicorn, for hell's sake! “My peers have been on your trail for weeks. I told them that I didn’t think you’d want to die so that they could turn people into badgers, but you know wizards.” Gil shook his head, chagrinned.
Rubbing his sore wrists, Yuni scrambled up, noting as he did so that he towered over the little twerp. Thirst won out over shaking the kid within an inch of his life, though, so he stomped clumsily over to the pond beside them. He almost fell face first into the winter waters, trying to figure out how to get the water from the pond into his mouth. Gil’s amused laughter and his subsequent offering of a cup did nothing to sweeten Yuni’s mood.
His reflection in the pond further revealed the depths to which he’d sunk, however. Despite the fact that as a unicorn he’d been the purest of white, his once lovely body was covered in nasty human clothing. He wore trousers similar to the idiot wizard’s, but the coat keeping his wimpy human skin warm was made of black leather. The pretty decorations that he’d had in his ears where now piercings that trailed up the lobes of both ears and the ugly horn was accentuated by a colorful tattoo design around its base.
“Turn me back.”
“I can’t,” Gil told him with a happy chirp.
“Turn me back, NOW!” he raged. Gil smiled up at him, completely unconcerned with Yuni’s wrath.
“You’d get killed if I did. So why don’t you sit down here and have dinner with me.” Gil patted a spot next to him, and against his better judgment, Yuni reluctantly sat down next to him.
Eating human food ended up being something of a trial in itself anyway. None of it tasted right, but in spite of that, Yuni had managed to gorge himself, eating his fill and belching loudly in appreciation of the meal when he was done.
“It’s not so bad being human, sometimes.” Gil grinned. Yuni wasn’t entirely sure he agreed, but he let it pass this time. The brat was growing on him.
“Gilford!”
Blinking, Yuni watched as three wizards suddenly appeared with a pop right in the middle of their campsite. And while he hadn’t been thrilled with Gil, he was downright angry about these three morons.
They, of course, had the sinister outfits and facial hair down to an art.
“You hack! We know you took that unicorn! Give it to us!” the most annoying of the bunch screeched at ear shattering levels. Gil, for his part, looked completely confused at their request.
“Unicorn? You guys found a unicorn? Congratulations! You know they haven’t been spotted in over three decades. You’ll have to be careful or it’ll get away from you.”
“Of course it’ll get away from us,” one of the whiny short ones interjected. “You took it!”
“Me?” Again, Gil’s big dumb innocent eyes were believably confused. “Why ever would you think I’d do something like that? I’d try to make friends with it first, though. I imagine it’ll be lots nicer to you if you’re nice to it first.”
“You two seriously think this twit would be able to find a unicorn before we could?” The last wizard scoffed. “He’s a disgrace. Let’s go. The blasted creature has to be around here somewhere.” And with that, the three disappeared in a dark green puff of smoke.
“Not the brightest tools in the shed, are they?” Gil noted cheerfully. And in spite of himself, Yuni chuckled. “Well, now that that’s done, is there anything I can do to convince you to travel with me? I could really use the help. Having a magical creature along will certainly facilitate interactions with other creatures I might stumble on to. I don’t expect you to do it for free, of course. I can supply you with as many of the purest sugar cubes you desire in return.” Gil looked up at him expectantly.
“Will I ever be able to turn back into a unicorn?” he finally asked after a very long, very awkward silence.
“Sure. All you have to do is remove the silver bangles on your wrists. They hold you in human form.”
“Okay, I’ll do it,” he said cautiously. “But they better be the best damned sugar cubes ever or it’s off,” he warned, grumpily.
“But of course,” Gil grinned sweetly. And all right, so maybe Yuni wasn’t as adverse to the odd little wizard as he’d pretended. There was no denying that his deceptive innocence was adorable. Maybe it wouldn’t be quite so bad to be in human form for a while. And what was the harm in taking advantage of the fact that he had hands to touch with and lips to kiss with? Gil clapped him on the shoulder happily, standing up. “You can be my familiar!” the brat announced.
“I’m not going to be your freaking familiar!” Yuni screeched as Gil ignored him and started packing up the campsite.
Now, the only question is, if you have sex with a unicorn, would you be allowed to touch each other afterward? ^_^;;
So, this is short. And original. And weird. But I hope you like it and that you have a wonderful day. ^_^ (I'll write something longer...and better, for you next December. ;3)
When Yuni had woken up that morning and gotten himself ready for the day, this had not been part of the plan. In fact, it hadn’t even been in the realm of his reality.
Unfortunately, that hadn’t seemed to have stopped it from happening. “Get the hell off of me!” he bellowed, struggling against the ropes and trying to buck off the pipsqueak intent on holding him down. Honestly, no self respecting unicorn should ever find themselves in such a position, and that this little runt of a wizard had managed the trick infuriated Yuni. What was more, the brat had turned him into this vile human form. His lovely tail was still there, but it looked ridiculous hanging off of his freakish human butt. His lovely mane was now messy white locks that fell in complete disarray around his face.
And his horn, his lovely magnificent horn! It was now stubby, short and ugly.
“You’re not at all what I expected out of a unicorn, Mr. Unicorn,” the wizard brat told him in complete seriousness.
"Yuni," he ground out, furious.
In a million years, Yuni would never live this down. Shaking his stupid human hair out of his stupid human eyes, Yuni glared. The brat was in typical wizard garb. He had the royal blue cape and hat of the wizarding academy, and the wand he was waving around with less caution that Yuni would have liked, looked like standard issue. Of course, that’s where the normality ended and the world flipped upside down.
The brat was missing the goatee and the handlebar mustache. He was also dressed like a complete commoner underneath his fancy cape instead of the foppish finery that most wizards indulged in. His reddish brown hair was also short and curling slightly around his face, making him look more impish than sinister.
In short, Yuni had been captured and transformed by a third rate hack.
“Untie me. Now,” he tried growling. Maybe he could scare the idiot into releasing him.
“Why?” The brat blinked big dumb innocent eyes at him.
“So I can trample you to death. So I can pluck your eyeballs from your skull and feed it to ravens for fun. So I can drop kick you off a cliff. Just do it!”
The brat whistled. “You’d make a great wizard. They love that kind of gory talk. It’s all about skewering people and eating their entrails and ripping apart the countryside with their power. I told them it seemed a bit stupid since there were so many other interesting and wonderful things that could be done with magic. But you know,” he shrugged, slipping off of Yuni and crouching down on his knees, “wizards are a bloodthirsty lot.”
“And you’re not?” Yuni couldn’t help but ask skeptically. After all, what other reason would a wizard have to capture a unicorn than to bleed it dry? The fact that this particular wizard hadn’t done so already merely meant that he was crap at his profession. Even more so since he’d managed to turn Yuni human when the blood would only be useful in its unicorn form.
“Of course not,” the brat snorted. “Blood makes me faint.”
“Who the hell are you?” Because Yuni was beginning to think that it was amazing that the wizarding guild hadn’t murdered the brat just to preserve the sanctity of the profession.
“Gil. I’m a wizard first class and I graduated last year. My specialty is the hundred year sleep and I did my graduating thesis on the effectiveness of unicorn blood.”
“And yet you don’t want mine,” Yuni snorted. “Do I look that stupid?”
“Having not had much experience with unicorns firsthand, I really couldn’t say for sure,” Gil babbled mindless of Yuni’s disgust with him. “I do have to say, though, that you’re a lot prettier up close than I thought you would have been.”
“But I’m human,” Yuni ground out the word in disgust.
“Well of course. If you were a unicorn, they’d have killed you and started bleeding you out already. Besides, you look prettier as a human.” Gil smiled at him, and Yuni scowled out of reflex in spite of the fact that Gil was reaching over and he could feel the brat cutting the ropes that held him hogtied. Dammit, he was not pretty! Unicorns were not something so insipid as pretty. He was a manly unicorn, for hell's sake! “My peers have been on your trail for weeks. I told them that I didn’t think you’d want to die so that they could turn people into badgers, but you know wizards.” Gil shook his head, chagrinned.
Rubbing his sore wrists, Yuni scrambled up, noting as he did so that he towered over the little twerp. Thirst won out over shaking the kid within an inch of his life, though, so he stomped clumsily over to the pond beside them. He almost fell face first into the winter waters, trying to figure out how to get the water from the pond into his mouth. Gil’s amused laughter and his subsequent offering of a cup did nothing to sweeten Yuni’s mood.
His reflection in the pond further revealed the depths to which he’d sunk, however. Despite the fact that as a unicorn he’d been the purest of white, his once lovely body was covered in nasty human clothing. He wore trousers similar to the idiot wizard’s, but the coat keeping his wimpy human skin warm was made of black leather. The pretty decorations that he’d had in his ears where now piercings that trailed up the lobes of both ears and the ugly horn was accentuated by a colorful tattoo design around its base.
“Turn me back.”
“I can’t,” Gil told him with a happy chirp.
“Turn me back, NOW!” he raged. Gil smiled up at him, completely unconcerned with Yuni’s wrath.
“You’d get killed if I did. So why don’t you sit down here and have dinner with me.” Gil patted a spot next to him, and against his better judgment, Yuni reluctantly sat down next to him.
Eating human food ended up being something of a trial in itself anyway. None of it tasted right, but in spite of that, Yuni had managed to gorge himself, eating his fill and belching loudly in appreciation of the meal when he was done.
“It’s not so bad being human, sometimes.” Gil grinned. Yuni wasn’t entirely sure he agreed, but he let it pass this time. The brat was growing on him.
“Gilford!”
Blinking, Yuni watched as three wizards suddenly appeared with a pop right in the middle of their campsite. And while he hadn’t been thrilled with Gil, he was downright angry about these three morons.
They, of course, had the sinister outfits and facial hair down to an art.
“You hack! We know you took that unicorn! Give it to us!” the most annoying of the bunch screeched at ear shattering levels. Gil, for his part, looked completely confused at their request.
“Unicorn? You guys found a unicorn? Congratulations! You know they haven’t been spotted in over three decades. You’ll have to be careful or it’ll get away from you.”
“Of course it’ll get away from us,” one of the whiny short ones interjected. “You took it!”
“Me?” Again, Gil’s big dumb innocent eyes were believably confused. “Why ever would you think I’d do something like that? I’d try to make friends with it first, though. I imagine it’ll be lots nicer to you if you’re nice to it first.”
“You two seriously think this twit would be able to find a unicorn before we could?” The last wizard scoffed. “He’s a disgrace. Let’s go. The blasted creature has to be around here somewhere.” And with that, the three disappeared in a dark green puff of smoke.
“Not the brightest tools in the shed, are they?” Gil noted cheerfully. And in spite of himself, Yuni chuckled. “Well, now that that’s done, is there anything I can do to convince you to travel with me? I could really use the help. Having a magical creature along will certainly facilitate interactions with other creatures I might stumble on to. I don’t expect you to do it for free, of course. I can supply you with as many of the purest sugar cubes you desire in return.” Gil looked up at him expectantly.
“Will I ever be able to turn back into a unicorn?” he finally asked after a very long, very awkward silence.
“Sure. All you have to do is remove the silver bangles on your wrists. They hold you in human form.”
“Okay, I’ll do it,” he said cautiously. “But they better be the best damned sugar cubes ever or it’s off,” he warned, grumpily.
“But of course,” Gil grinned sweetly. And all right, so maybe Yuni wasn’t as adverse to the odd little wizard as he’d pretended. There was no denying that his deceptive innocence was adorable. Maybe it wouldn’t be quite so bad to be in human form for a while. And what was the harm in taking advantage of the fact that he had hands to touch with and lips to kiss with? Gil clapped him on the shoulder happily, standing up. “You can be my familiar!” the brat announced.
“I’m not going to be your freaking familiar!” Yuni screeched as Gil ignored him and started packing up the campsite.
Now, the only question is, if you have sex with a unicorn, would you be allowed to touch each other afterward? ^_^;;