We Carved Our Love In Oak: Part 11
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Jensen waits awkwardly on the doorstep, briefly considers turning back around and giving up this entire idea, when it opens and Josh is standing there.
Jensen stands there momentarily stunned, not having expected to see his older brother at the door.
“Jensen,” Josh says. His expression doesn’t betray anything and Jensen continues to stand awkwardly on the doorstep, his hands dug deep into his pockets.
“Hey,” Jensen says. “I didn’t know you were home.”
Jensen’s met with another thick, heavy silence and he swallows, casting his eyes down.
“Okay, I’ll--”
Jensen’s cut off by Josh coming forward and wrapping him arms around him, pulling him close. Jensen freezes before wrapping his own arms around Josh, patting him a couple of times on the back.
“Asshole, don’t you know how to use a phone?” Josh says, once they’ve pulled apart.
“I’ve been away,” Jensen says. “On a road trip.”
“Yeah,” Josh says quietly. “Mom was telling us about that. I think maybe you should come inside.”
“Is dad home?”
Josh offers him a strained smile, but it’s more of a grimace and Jensen doesn’t want to know that means, what he’s been saying since Jensen left. “Yeah. Come on in. Mack misses you.”
Jensen follows Josh into the hallway and to the living room, where Mack’s sitting and watching television.
“Hey, Mackenzie,” Jensen says, bending down to give her a hug.
“Jensen!” she says, wrapping her arms around him. She’s always happy to see him and Jensen kisses the side of her head before standing up again.
“They’re in the kitchen,” Josh says quietly, and gives a quick squeeze to his shoulder. “It’s okay, little brother. We love you a lot.”
Jensen smiles at him and walks towards the kitchen, pausing in the hallway to gather himself before pushing open the kitchen door.
“Jensen,” his mom says, turning around from the kitchen counter as he enters. “You’re back.”
She looks pale, tired, her lips in a thin line. Jensen’s dad is sat at the kitchen table with printed sheets spread out in front of him and a pen in one hand. He looks up when Jensen enters and then sits back against his chair, taking his glasses off.
“Jensen,” he says.
Jensen nods in acknowledgement and they’re thrown into an uncomfortable silence. Jensen sits down at the table and runs a hand over his face.
“I don’t want to fight,” he begins. “I don’t want to avoid you guys, or never talk to you. You’re my family. But I’m not going to pretend to hide a part of myself that’s really important.”
Jensen’s mom sits down beside him at the table and Jensen’s dad is watching him, assessing, his expression revealing nothing.
“I’m dating Jared,” Jensen says, staring down at his clasped hands on the table. “I love him.”
Jensen looks up to see his mom frowning, and his dad is staring down at his own hands, not making eye contact.
“I’m staying with Jared and his mom. I’m happy there. I just miss you guys,” he says, the last word coming out shaky. He clears his throat and waits for someone to break the silence.
“Jensen,” his dad says, finally, and Jensen looks at him with anxiety fluttering in his chest. “We can’t pretend to… understand. But you’re our son. And we love you.”
The words take a moment to sink in.
“We do,” his mom says. “Jensen, we could never stop loving you. Even if we don’t agree with your lifestyle… we’re family.”
Jensen smiles and rubs a hand over his mouth, trying to keep it together and not let himself unravel in front of them. Jensen’s mom wraps her arms around him and kisses the top of his head before pulling back.
“Thanks,” Jensen says, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. “I love you both, too.”
Jensen stays for dinner before saying his goodbyes. Jensen’s dad is still a little off, and things are still tense between them, but he gives Jensen a pat on the back and a small smile and it’s enough, for now.
Jared pulls him into a hug as soon as he’s through the door of the Padalecki’s and holds him tight against his chest. Jensen slowly relaxes against him and clutches at the back of Jared’s shirt.
“How’d it go?” Jared whispers against his ear.
“Good. Better than expected.”
“Good,” Jared says.
Jared pulls back and studies him carefully, before leaning forward with a smile and kissing him on the lips. “I was thinking. Tomorrow we should down to the lake.”
“I’d like that,” Jensen says. “I’d like that a lot.”
They go upstairs to Jared’s room and Jensen lets himself go boneless on Jared’s bed, Jared curled up behind him and pressing warm kisses against the back of his neck. He feels safe and he feels loved, and feels lighter than he has in weeks.
***
Jared sits down on the grass and lies back. He puts his hands behind his head with a smile, shutting his eyes. His shirt rides up a few inches, revealing a tanned strip of stomach, and Jensen can’t help himself, has to throw a leg either side of Jared’s hips and sit on top of him.
Jared grins and places his hands on Jensen’s hips without opening his eyes.
Jensen leans forward and presses his lips to Jared’s. Jared’s lips are soft, warm, and taste like strawberry from the popsicles they ate on the way over. He brings a hand up to cup the back of Jensen’s head and Jensen sighs happily against his mouth, resting his face in the crook of Jared’s neck.
A dragonfly flies past them, soaring over the lake and a gentle breeze brushes over their skin. Jensen smiles.
Before leaving, the sun a burnt orange glow in the sky, they stop in front of the oak tree. In silence, Jared slips his fingers through Jensen’s, and leans forward, pen-knife in his other hand.
Around the J+J that's scratched into the bark, there’s now a wonky heart carved around it.
Jensen gives Jared’s hand a squeeze and Jared turns to him, grinning.
“There’s our mark,” he says. “You and me.”
“J and J,” Jensen murmurs, tracing it with his finger.
“J and J.”
Together they went on their great journey. Across the heated tarmac and into the lives of three boys in LA, three free teenagers in the middle of nowhere, a boy on the side of the road with a bandana in his hair. A girl in a dirty club who wanted to dance. A couple who decided to stop and pick up the boy who looked lost in the San Francisco night. The boy in love with maps and journeys; the boy in love with his best friend and the inner world of books.
And so the boy in love with the outside world, and the boy in love with what he thought he could never have, fell in love with each other.
They left their mark across America. J+J.
And that was that.
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